Her Tomorrow

He was still holding me and sleeping when I came to the next morning. Surprisingly I hadn’t moved away, even in my sleep. His breathing was quiet, but rhythmic, and his heart beat strongly. I looked for a clock, and found on across the room on his dresser. 6:27am. Too early. I rolled to look at him and as I did so he stirred slightly but did not wake. Instead, he moved closer to me. He looked so peaceful, but happy.

I tried to get back to sleep but I became restless. It might’ve had something to do with the fact that a really handsome and sweet boy was next to me when I woke up. I smiled at the thought. The minutes ticked by and still I couldn’t get back to sleep. I tried to sit up without waking him up. To my dismay, I failed.

“Jessie? Something wrong?”, his tone sleepy, groggy, almost a mumble. He rubbed his eyes and sat up leaning on his arm, resting his other arm on my side.

“No. Nothing’s wrong. Go ahead and go back to sleep for a little bit. It’s Saturday, you’re supposed to sleep in on Saturday’s.” I kissed his forehead hoping it’d reassure him.

It did. He looked at me for a second, then nodded and fell right back asleep, still draping his arm on my waist. I sat for an hour or so watching him sleep. He was beautiful. Even while he slept it looked like he wore a smile on his lips. Sometime around 8 I think it was, he rolled away into a half-fetal position. I don’t know what drove me to but I laid beside him again, my body against his, placing one hand on his side near his stomach.

I don’t how long after but I fell asleep again. We woke up again together a few hours later. At some point, he had rolled over and was facing me, and he had one hand resting on mine between us.

“Good morning sunshine,” he said smiling that smile again.

“Morning.”

We laid there for a few minutes just waking up when we smelled his mother’s cooking. We looked at each other and smiled.

“I should probably go get dressed…” I stammered.

“Yeah..uhh…right.” he blushed. “Meet you downstairs?”

“Sure. See you in a few.”

But as I was rolling away to climb out of bed and get dressed, he grabbed me gently, pulled me back and kissed me again. His lips were soft and warm, and just as wonderful as I had remembered, if not more so. It didn’t last long but it was amazing. Neither of us said anything as I got out and walked towards the door.

“By the way Jessie..” he said as I reached for the knob, “..my t-shirt looks good on you.” He winked.

“Thank you..” It was my turn to blush but I hurried out of the room before he could see it.

Back in the guest room, I found that his mom had laid out clothes for me. They were just my size, which I honestly found a little creepy but it was very sweet at the same time. I slipped into them and then went downstairs to find them already seated but waiting for me. Mike got up and pulled my chair out for me, next to him. Of course.

His mom had yet again made a very simple but fantastic breakfast. I’ll have to remember to ask her to teach me how to cook someday.

While we ate, his mom asked me all kinds of questions, mainly about what I like to do for fun and such. Mike was listening the whole time, not once uttering a sound except maybe a laugh here and there to my answers.

For the first time, I was allowed to help with the clean up. I wanted to do all of it but yet again, refused. Mike had gone back to his room so after we were done, I went up to join him.

He had shut his door, so instead I went into the guest room. I sat on the bed facing the window, away from the door. I rolled up one sleeve and looked at my arm again for the first time in a while. So many scars from him, from me. I counted 34 in total on just my forearm. Too many. Granted many were small but that’s still way to many. I rolled up my other sleeve. 27.

There was a knock on the door even though it was open. I threw my sleeve down and turned around to see him. He came and sat on the bed next to me, worry in his eyes. He took my hand and rolled up my sleeve. The worry turned to sadness and anger in his eyes when he saw the scars. He didn’t look at the other arm, he just reached out and held me for a long time, but it didn’t seem long enough when he finally released me.

He shook himself out of it and put a smile on again though it wasn‘t hard to see the anger and hurt in his eyes. “How about that movie huh?”

I laughed slightly. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

“Great. Vamos!” He kissed my forehead, and led me down the stairs and out to the car still holding my hand.

- - -

We picked an action movie. He didn’t kiss me this time but did have his arm around me the whole time. At some point I had reached my hand up to hold his hand near my shoulder.

After the movie our fingers were still laced as we exited the theater discussing our favorite parts. It felt good. I felt happy. But at the same time scared, scared that history would repeat itself. The fear not that he’d hurt me necessarily, but that this would end and I’d be alone again. He didn’t see it though, and I wouldn’t let him.

We drove back to his special spot and sat on the bench talking for hours. He told me of his childhood, before Max and his dad entered their lives. He was a first baseman in little league and was forced into tennis lessons the year before he started baseball. His dad taught him how to whittle and took him camping a lot. He shared so many happy memories, and how he was able to hold himself together I’ll never know.

We could make this work, at least I hope we can. Max is the past. Once he’s gone and out of the picture for good, I think I might give this a shot.

We sat in silence for a bit, his arm around me, until we could see the city lights come on. His mom called wondering where we were and if we were ok so we decided to head back to his place.

We held hands on the way back to the car. I froze once it came into view.

“What is it?” He looked and froze too.

Entwined into the steering wheel was a deep red rose. The windows were smashed in and there was a huge key scratch across the doors. He held me close and looked around.

“Max if you were smart you’d back off!! Leave her the fuck alone!” He was angry, and the harsh tone in his voice made me start to shake even though I knew it wasn’t directed at me. My heart near stopped when we heard a whisper reply in the wind.

“Forever Jessie. Just try to forget me. I dare you.”

We looked all around but couldn’t see him. Mike hurried me into the car and we sped off. I tried not to look back but I’m almost certain I saw him in the mirror.

Mike held my hand the whole way. When we got back to the house he bolted the door behind him and called the police to report what had happened. They sent someone to keep surveillance on the house for the night to help us sleep better.

His mom had left a note saying she got called into the hospital and wouldn’t be home until sometime tomorrow, so he made us something small to eat.

I slept in his bed again, in his warm embrace. Very shortly after being wrapped in his arms, I fell into that wonderful dark abyss yet again.

- - -

The slamming of a door downstairs woke me up the next morning. That and the fact the Mike’s arm had pulled me closer instinctively with a sharp movement that startled me. He whispered to me telling me to be very quiet and not to move. We then heard his mom call out saying that it was only her. We both sighed in relief.

I rolled over to wish him a good morning but my words were caught in my throat as soon as I saw him. He looked like he didn’t get an once of sleep. He had dark circles around his eyes and looked completely wiped.

“Did you sleep at all?” I touched his cheek. It was soft and warm but colder than usual.

He shrugged. “How could I? He’s slipped by the police before, who’s to say he won’t again? I can’t sleep until I know you’re safe…” He held me slightly tighter with those last words.

“Not sleeping could probably be the worst thing right now. I’ll be ok while your mom’s here too. Get some sleep. Please?”

“Will you stay here? At least until I’m sound asleep? It would help immensely.”

I had the strongest urge to kiss him but instead said, “Of course,” and before I gave into the urge, I rolled back over and curled up next to him, his arm pulling me close.

Soon his breathing slowed and his grip loosened. Once I was sure he was asleep I slipped out, put my clothes on, and went downstairs. I found his mom in the kitchen having some coffee. I sat down with her and we talked. I told her my story and she just sat there, her expression barely changing as if she had heard it all before. When I was finished, she told me a very similar story, only with Max’s father rather than Max. The only big difference was the ending. He had left, while Max was still here. After she finished, we both sat there, half smiling, half frowning. It was good to have someone to talk to, someone that understood.

Mike came down the stairs not to long after we finished talking. He kissed his mom good morning, and then kissed my cheek good morning as well.

“You hungry son?”

“No Mom. Thanks.”

We sat there in silence for a few seconds, and I broke it. “I think I should go home today. I need to talk tell Sam what happened, and call Chris.”

“Alright. Let me get dressed and I’ll drive you.”