Be My Escape

I’m not sure what was harder: waking up the next morning after Josh broke up with me and realizing that I was probably the loneliest person in Reading, or waking up the next morning and realizing I had to go to work that day and act like a normal human being who got a full 8 hours of sleep when I really only got about 2 or 3.

I was a zombie all morning. I woke up and stumbled into the shower, got dressed in something I was sure I had worn the week before, and didn’t even make myself any tea because I just didn’t want it. I didn’t want anything except to curl back up in bed and go back to sleep.

As I was walking out of my flat, I knew one thing was for sure: I had to talk to Jake, regardless of how badly I did not want to ever speak another word to him. I had to figure some of this shit out, mainly what he and Josh discussed the day prior that got Josh so upset, he broke up with me. I needed answers more than anyone, and I was desperate at that point, ready to exhaust all of my resources.

Jake was number one on that list.

When I got into the office that morning, I immediately went to find Jake. He wasn’t hard to find, and I found him standing around in the break room making coffee. For himself or as one of his intern duties, I wasn’t sure, but I ignored it. I walked right up to him and stood behind him with my hands on my hips, glaring at him menacingly, waiting for him to finally realize I was there.

He finally turned around slowly, a smirk gracing his face irritatingly when he realized it was me. “Can I help you, doll?” he asked sweetly.

I rolled my eyes and resisted the urge to punch him. I took note that his cheek was slightly black and blue and his nose looked rather rough as well. “Let’s not play any games here Jake. You told Josh something that got him so mad he punched you, and I need to know what that something is.”

“I just told him what he wanted to know, love,” he smirked again as he leaned back against the counter, mindlessly stirring the stirrer in his coffee. “Which, speaking of need-to-knows, you need to know that you shouldn’t keep secrets from people.”

“You ignorant prick!” I growled. “What did you say to him?”

He laughed and it made my skin crawl. “It’s not important, love. I just told him the truth about us, what we did, what you confessed to me. You know, the truth.” The smirk that was glued to his face still made my stomach turn. The bastard was lucky we were where we were, or else he’d be getting a swift junk punch that was well-deserved.

I took a step closer and got right in his face, pointing my finger at him and poking his chest. “You’re going to tell me what you told Josh right now, or I’m going to go to my father and inform him what a lying, sleazy snake you are.”

He rolled his eyes; apparently, the hilarity of the situation was draining now that I was threatening him. Asshole. “I told him the truth, Peyton. Why don’t you try it sometime?”

He tried to get by me, but I stopped him. “Just… wait,” I told him as I wracked my brain of Josh and I’d conversation the night before.

“You never fuckin’ trusted me, Peyton! You trusted that bloke Jake like it was nothing, you slept with him like that was nothing even though he treated you like proper shit, but then I come along and what? I’m just the guy who will keep you company until you go back to the States?”

The sharp intake of breath I took made me stumble back slightly, which made Jake laugh. “Cat got your tongue, love?”

I wanted to smack him for uttering the same words Josh has said to me not 24 hours prior, even if he didn’t know it.

“You said we slept together,” I ground out between my teeth, all of the anger I was feeling finally escaping. “You sleazy, good for nothing, jackass!” I kept my voice low so I wouldn’t alert the whole office of my killing Jake, but I still got my point across.

“Well, technically, I did sleep at your flat on a few occasions, love.”

That was all it took for me to loose all control and smack him on the face as hard as I possibly could. “Go die,” I hissed before turning on my heel and leaving the break room.

I’d the first to admit what I had said to Jake was harsh, but at the same time I couldn’t have cared any less if I tried. So I went to work immediately, getting my tasks for the day done as fast as possible and not stopping for lunch. Because quite honestly, the last thing I wanted to do was stop, because stopping would mean focusing on things other than work, which would make me think about my current situation and that wouldn’t be good for anyone.

When I finished everything that I needed to do for the day, I went to see my father. I knocked on his door lightly and poked my head in with a smile plastered on my face. “Hi dad.”

“Hi, love, come on in,” he smiled back, gesturing for me to step inside.

I walked over to his desk and took a seat at one of the chairs seated in front of him. “What’s up love?”

I shrugged. “I just finished everything that needed to be done.”

He smiled at me again. “You’re as bad as I am love. You work too hard, and while I’m thankful to have you around, you should take a few days off. Spend some time with your brother before they leave, or Josh since I know you two are together, even if you didn’t tell your dear old dad on your own.”

The wink he threw my way made me realize he was teasing me, but also completely serious about taking some time off. Even though my heart strings pulled thinking of Josh, I knew he was right. I wanted to at least spend some time with my brother before they left for the end of Warped Tour.

I was suddenly hit with the realization that if the guys were leaving soon, I would be too. I realized I had absolutely no clue what the date was so I asked my father.

“It’s Thursday, June 18th love. Why?”

I shook my head. “No reason, just suddenly had no idea what the day was.” I gave him a smile so he wouldn’t worry and then stood up. “Would you mind if I headed home early today?”

He smiled and shook his head. “Not at all love, go on. And please, take a few days off, yeah?”

I nodded, smiled, and then left his office. I finished my first task of talking to Jake, now I needed to find Josh.

***

The first thing I did was go to Max’s flat and knock on the door. The million thoughts running through my mind as I raised my hand and tapped it against the door tentatively. As much as I knew I had to do this, a little piece of me was breaking with every second I stood in front of that door.

When it finally swung open and the person behind it wasn’t Josh, I breathed a sigh of relief.

But when I realized Max’s face closely resembled the angry expression Josh held the previous day when he was yelling at me, I suddenly wasn’t sure what I was doing there anymore.

I cleared my throat. “Uh, hi Max. Josh around?”

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, peeking behind him quickly before stepping out into the hall and shutting the door behind him. “I told you this was a bad idea from day one, Peyt. I said I wasn’t going to pick sides because you’re my sister, but I love Josh like a brother.”

The way Max was shaking his head in disappointment infuriated me. “I’m getting really sick of people getting so mad at me when they aren’t even telling me why they’re mad,” I huffed, stepping back and crossing my arms in front of my chest.

“You didn’t have to sleep with that bloke Jake, Peyton. And to think you told Jake what’s wrong, and you didn’t even tell Josh, when Josh clearly cared for you? That’s bullocks Peyton, and if you don’t know it you should.”

My mouth dropped and tears formed in my eyes. “You know what’s really shitty Max? The fact that no one is listening to a word I’m saying. No one is listening to my side of the story. It’s all about poor broken-hearted Joshy, yeah?” I adopted a fake-sympathetic tone before continuing. “Poor Josh, doesn’t know how to fix his broken heart.” I rolled my eyes. “You know what? Fuck it, Max. Fuck all of it, I’m done.”

I didn’t even stop to listen to what my brother had to say before I stormed off into my own flat, slamming the door behind me.

When I lay down that night to try and sleep, I flipped open my phone to call my mom, despite the late hour. I dialed my home number and listened to the ringing. After what felt like an eternity, someone answered with a groggy, “Hello?”

“Momma?” I choked out, tears streaming down my cheeks. “I think I want to come home.”