Memories That Vanished

As we continued it somehow felt new to me, different then the other times that Matt and I had been together. And yet, the cockiness that Matt showed seemed to disappear as we went further into the night. It seemed like Matt was nervous and I knew he was. Being together seemed like a first for Matt.

Matt was incredibly gentle and caring. And as we laid together afterwards he would kiss my forehead and run his fingers up and down my sides, effectively giving me the chills. We were quiet as we laid there, both of us reveling in our own thoughts, our own cluttered thoughts.

Matt's voice didn't startle me as he broke the silence, yet the words that left his mouth surprised and excited me at the same time.
"What do you mean you 'remember the first time?" I questioned, rolling over on my stomach and resting my elbow on his tattooed chest.
Matt shrugged like it was no big deal before he replied, "I remember the first time we had sex,"

For some reason, my mind couldn't pick up on what he was saying and I couldn't believe it as shock settled in, "Then tell me when," I demanded, resting my head on his chest as his fingers ran up my spine and into my hair. He pulled on certain pieces as he spoke,

"Okay," He murmured, looking down to me with a smile, "We were 22 and everyone had gone to the beach that day. I was still with Val, but by the end of the day I ended up telling you I loved you for the first time. You kissed me, we had never kissed before, but you grabbed onto my shirt roughly after I told you that I didn't want to be with Valary anymore and demanded for me to tell you why. So I said that I loved you and you yanked me down to kiss you. Then we-,"
"We made love on the beach," I finished for him, tears in my eyes falling down to soak my cheeks.
Matt nodded and wiped the moisture from my skin before he kissed me gently, "I love you,"
I buried my face in his chest after those words left his mouth. I kissed his chest over and over again as the tears fell from my eyes, "I love you, Matt," I said pointedly, placing another kiss to his chest, working my way up until my lips met the side of his mouth.
He turned his head and pressed his lips against mine with so much passion that it had me gasping for air.
"I love you," Matt confirmed, laying his head back against the pillow. I rolled over and rested my head on his shoulder, clasping my hand with his own as he pulled the blankets higher over our nude bodies.

I drifted off to the sound of Matt singing a song that I had come to love between now and the time that he had written in. I didn't dream that night, because all I had ever wanted was in the very same house, the very same bed as me. And when I woke in the middle of the night I was met with Matt's peaceful sleeping face and his arms wrapped protectively around my bare waist. I smiled to myself and closed my eyes, fading away into the comfort of having Matt here with me.

I woke up to a cool, empty bed and for a split moment pain and disappointment crept into my heart. That was until I noticed the clothing that was scattered around the bedroom. I sat up and held the sheet to my body to hide myself from the chilly air conditioning. I stretched and rolled out of the bed, pulling Matt's shirt from the floor and over my head, grabbing panties and shorts from two drawers. I pulled those on as well before I followed the sounds of laughter down stairs and into the kitchen.
Matt stood in front of the stove, singing loudly as he cooked what looked to be scrambled eggs, toast, fried potato's and bacon. He was clad only in his boxers that laid low on his hips, his hip bones showing as he swayed to the sound of his own voice.

The boys sat at the kitchen table in their pajama's, laughing at their father as he danced around by the stove, stirring the eggs at the same time. Vladimir started to sing along with Matt and Landon clapped his little hands loudly before he looked up and met my gaze.
"Mommy!" He shouted happily, pointing to me.
Matt whirled around with a grin on his face and waltzed over to me. He placed a deep kiss on my lips and wrapped his arms around me, "Good morning, Beautiful,"
"Morning, baby," I greeted, kissing him again and walking over the boys. I took a seat as Matt went over to the stove and piled all the food onto four plates. Matt carried two over and placed them in front of the boys before he grinned at me and went back to grab ours. He placed one in front of me and took the seat across from me. I grinned as I stabbed my food and popped the spicy potato's into my mouth, catching Matt's eye.
"How'd you sleep?" He asked, taking a bite of his own food.
I nodded and swallowed before I answered, "Amazing,"
"Me too," He said, reaching out to ruffling Vladimir's hair as the older sibling made faces at Landon.
Breakfast was over quickly and Matt and I decided that we were just going to hang around the house with the boys today. As I washed the dishes the phone began to ring.
"Got it!" I called out to Matt as he played with the boys in the living room.
"Hello?" I answered, not bothering to check the caller ID.
"Bryn? It's Kim," Matt's mother said from the other line.
I craddled the phone between my cheek and shoulder as wiped my hands on a dish towel, "Hey Kim, what's up?" I asked after a moment.
"Gary and I were just wondering if Matt was there. We just went to wake him up for breakfast and he's not here," She murmured, anxiousness evident in her voice.
"Yeah," I nodded to myself, "He's here. He stayed the night, do you want to talk to him?"
I heard Kim sigh before she answered, "Yes please, I need to remind my 29 year old son not to run off with out telling anyone,"
I laughed and called out for Matt, "Your Mom is on the phone!"
"Coming!" He replied, walking into the kitchen. He kissed me again before he put the phone up to his gauged ear and leaned against the counter next to the sink.
"Hey Mom, what's up?"
I couldn't make out what Kim was saying as I finished up the dishes, but Matt apologized many times.
"Yeah, I'm sorry," He murmured sheepishly, "I'll be staying home from now on," He said with a grin as he caught my eye.
Kim said something quickly on the other line that caused Matt to chuckle and roll his eyes, grinning at me.
"Yeah, I know now," He told her, pulling me to him with his left hand as I tried to walk past him into the living room.
"Bryn told me," He stated, "I figured somethings out on my own, though,"
I was close enough to the phone when I rested against Matt that I could hear his mom's end of the conversation as well,
"What did you figure out?" She asked. I looked to Matt with wide eyes, warning him not to say anything inappropriate.
He nodded to me with a smirk before he replied to his mother, "Just stuff,"
He talked to his mom for a little while longer before Landon and Vladimir came wondering into the kitchen with impatient looks on their faces. Matt excused himself from the phone and hung it up before he raced past me with a 'rawr' as he chased his sons back into the living room, the boys screaming the whole time.
I chuckled and followed them out there. They were running in circles around the couch, Matt yelling things out and speeding up to throw Landon over his shoulder.
"You're mine now!" He claimed. Landon nodded and Matt shifted so the little boy was on his back, his little arms wrapped around Matt's neck.
Vladimir yelled loudly and raced towards the back of the house were the laundry room, guest room, garage and play room were. Matt and Landon ran after him and disappeared into the back of the house. I sighed of contentment and sat down on the couch, flipping the t.v on and listening to the three of them as they messed around.
Minutes later Matt came walking back into the living room with Landon still on his back and a pouting Vlad in his arms.
"I win," Matt declared, tossing the six year old onto the couch next to me and taking a seat on the other side of him, placing Landon in his lap.
"No fair," Vladimir pouted, sitting up straight and crossing his arms.
Matt scoffed and folded his own tattooed arms, "Is too,"
Landon nodded and pointed at Daddy, telling his brother that it was too fair.
"Landon!" Vladimir groaned, "I've told you before; You're supposed to be on my side!"

Landon shook his head stubbornly and pointed at Matt again, "Daddy's,"
Matt smirked and stuck his tongue out at his oldest son, "Ha. Ha,"
Vladimir growled and slid off of the couch. He stomped over the stairs and looked back at us over his shoulder. I held in the chuckle as my oldest son stood there in his blue cloud feety pajamas, his arms crossed, and a childish glare on his face, "Mean," He stated and marched up the stairs, making more noise with each step he took. Matt looked to me with a confident and happy smile before he yelled after the boy, "I love you too!"

Not even a half an hour later Vlad came walking down the stairs quietly and took a seat on the second to last one, looking through the rail's bars at the three of us as we laid on the couch. I was laid with my back against the couch and one arm on Matt's chest, facing him as he laid on his back with Landon on his chest.
"Daddy?" Vladimir asked quietly, sticking his hand through the one of the gaps between the wooden rails, to get our attention.
Matt looked up with raised eyebrows, "Yeah Vladimir?"
Vladimir stood up and walked slowly down the last stair before he clasped his hands in front of him and looked up at his dad through his long eye lashes, "Can I come lay with you guys?"
I smiled at Matt who had looked at me momentarily. Matt looked back over to his now timid son and nodded.
"Come here, kid," Matt called motioning for him with the hand arm that was folded behind his head.
Vladimir grinned and raced over, climbing up onto the couch and over his younger brother. He laid himself down halfway on his Dad and halfway on me.
After a few moments Matt looked at me with a smile, "We've done this many times before," He stated, running his fingers through Landon's hair as the younger boy slept.
"Yeah," I nodded, "Yeah,"