Everything's Different Now

Staring at my phone on the table I wait for Joe to call or send me a text to tell me he's outside. He told me last night to make sure I was ready at 10am because he was going to take me somewhere; it's now half past and I'm getting a little worried and impatient. We've spent the week convincing Ashley I'm dating Kenny and Joe's finally giving into her ‘demands'. I have to hand it to Kenny he's put up with a lot to do this for me, and he's made it clear to me he's not doing it so I can be with Joe but so Ashley will leave me alone. I still can't believe I have to go through all this effort just so me and Joe can try and have a relationship, let alone actually be in one. I'm not going to lie I've wondered if it's even worth it and every time I've contacted Joe to talk about it I changed my mind. His voice alone makes me feel happy and it doesn't make any sense to me. How can I go from not thinking of him as nothing but a friend to loving everything about him, maybe it was the kiss. It did something to me that's for sure.

-------

"Morning. I brought coffee!" Ashley smiled as I opened my front door and let her in.

"Morning." I said forcing a pleasant voice as I close the door and follow her.

"So I was thinking that we could go the central park, maybe have lunch later on. Like we used to." Placing the coffee on the table she turns and looks at me. I know I shouldn't be saying this but when she's not acting completely insane she's really sweet. I almost feel bad for what I'm going to do.

"Actually I was hoping we could stay here." I said walking towards her.

"Oh. What did you have in mind?" She smirked biting her bottom lip. Without saying a word I take hold of her hand and walk her to my bedroom.

Once inside I turn back to face her "Wait here." I whisper in her ear before leaving the room and quickly going into the bathroom, closing the door behind me.

Oh god, I can't believe I'm doing this again. I feel bad enough as it is just for spending time with her now I have to get her into bed. Not that it's difficult, this is Ashley after all. There's a lot of words you can use to describe her and ‘Easy' is one of the first. I can do this, how hard can it be?

Leaning on the sink I look at my reflection in the mirror. "Come on Joe. It's just like every other time." I mutter.

As long as I remember to stop before it goes too far then I'll be fine, I don't have to sleep with her, I just have to get her on the bed and make sure she can't leave. Me and Erica need to spend some time together and i can't risk having Ashley mess it up.

Taking a breath I finally open the door and leave, heading straight back to my bedroom.

"Wow." I gasp walking into my room and being confronted by the sight of Ashley wearing nothing but her underwear.

"I thought I'd let you take off the rest." she whispered as she walked towards me and softly kissed my neck.

Oh- wow, I forgot how good she was at this. NO! Come on Joe. Focus!

Lightly pushing her away I notice the look of shock on her face, knowing I have to keep up with this or risk having her realise what's going on I lift her up and carry her to my bed.

"I forgot you like to dominate." She giggled.

That's something I don't miss, that damn giggle. After dropping her onto the mattress I take off my shirt and toss it to the side.

"I've missed this." She sighed sitting up and kneeling so she could rest her hands on my jeans, before she can unbutton them I take hold of her wrist.

"I actually had something else planned." I said stepping away from her and opening the draw of my bedside table. Pulling out a pair of handcuffs I instantly see her eyes light up.

"You still have them?" she laughed getting ready to reach out and take them but I pull them away from her.

"Couldn't bare to get rid of them." I smile, nodding my head I gesture her to move back towards the headboard.

Without hesitating she moves and makes herself comfortable. I love that she'll go along with anything as long as sex is involved. It makes this so much easier.

Cuffing her wrists I make sure to link it through the bar of the headboard smiling at the sound of the cuffs locking into place. Ignoring the lustful look in her eyes I walk across the room and pick up my discarded shirt.

"What are you doing?" She asked instantly sounding panicked.

"I'm leaving." I sigh buttoning up the shirt and briefly looking up at Ashley "But don't worry, Justin will be here in a few hours to un-cuff you."

"A few hours! You can't leave me in here!" She shouted trying to sit up.

"Obviously I can." I smile and wink making her jaw drop in shock.

Opening the bedroom door and stepping out the room she continues to scream at me even after I close the door.

"Don't you fucking leave me in here Joe! I swear to god if you don't let me out right now I'm going to make you suffer! JOE!"

After grabbing my jacket, keys, wallet and phone I head outside making sure to lock the door behind me.

****

"Do I want to know what you did to her?" Erica asked sitting in the front seat of my car.

"Let's just say she's a little tied up and won't be able to follow us for a while." I smirk before closing the door and making my way to my side of the car.

"What did you do?" she said more slowly as I got into the driving seat and put on my seat belt.

"I may have handcuffed her to my bed." I quickly mumble putting the key into the ignition.

"I'm sorry I thought I just heard you say you handcuffed her to your bed." Erica said looking at me in disbelief.

"I did." I nod with a laugh.

"How would you even get- Oh my god. Did you have sex with her?!" Erica shouted

"No. I just made her think I was."

"So she's naked on your bed right now?" Looking pissed off and slightly disgusted Erica looks away from me and out the window.

"Not completely, she's wearing underwear." I shrug.

"Oh well that makes it so much better." she sarcastically cheered clasping her hands together.

"Hey." I laugh "I went through a lot of trouble to plan this."

"Oh wow I'm sorry, I didn't realise getting your ex girlfriend into bed was such an effort."

"Come here." I smile leaning towards Erica and giving her a kiss, after a few seconds she pulls away.

"Can you tell me where we're going now?"

"I already told you it's a surprise." I laugh letting my nose nudge hers

"I don't like surprises."

"You'll like this one." I quickly kiss her again before sitting back in my seat.

-----

Opening my eyes I let out a yawn and stretch my arms out in front of me.

"Are we there yet?" I ask turning my head to the side and looking at Joe who's still driving.

"Have been for a few minutes now." He smiled briefly taking his eyes off the road to look at me.

"Why didn't you wake me?" I yawn

"You looked peaceful." He answered turning the wheel and going onto another street.

Shifting in my seat I finally look out the window to see where we are.

It takes me a few moments to realise that I recognise this place.

"Joe what are we doing here?" I ask still in shock that I'm back in the town I grew up in.

"I thought it would be nice to come back to where we started." Joe placed his hand on my knee and lightly stroked it with him thumb

"Oh" I said not sure of what to actually say. How do I tell Joe I'd rather chew off my own arm then come back here?

"You're mad aren't you?"

"No- no I'm not mad." I quickly said putting my hand on Joe's arm "I'm just.... Surprised."

"Ok good, because I was really worried on the way here, and I was tempted to turn the car back around and go somewhere else." Joe said looking relieved. I force a smile on my face and look grateful.

As the car slowed down I look back out the window and see we're at the beach.

"Location of our first date. Ice cream and pedal boats." He said sounding extra excited.

"That wasn't a date Joe. I said it then and I'll say it now." I laugh

"Deny it as much as you want. It was a date." He smiled before getting out the car. As I took off my seat belt Joe opened the door for me and helped me get out the car. Breathing in the fresh air I'm reminded of all the years I spent in this town. It still looks and smells the same. The only good memories I have of this place is from being a kid when my dad was still alive; but since it's been so long and I was still pretty young I barely remember it. You'd think coming back would help, it doesn't.

"Are you ok?" Joe asked as he wrapped his arm around my waist

"Yea, it's just weird being back." I nod still looking around at the buildings and then at the beach on the other side of the boardwalk.

***

Finishing my ice cream and digging my feet further into the sand I hear Joe snigger from next to me.

"What?" I ask

"Nothing." He smiled sliding closer to me. "It's just nice."

"What is?"

"This. Being with you."

I nod and look away from Joe as he wraps an arm around me and places a soft kiss on my temple. I know I should say something, tell him I feel the same or something but this is still weird for me. Being affectionate with Joe is still new for me, I mean I have spent a long time either being a friend or arguing with him. I've only just gotten used to holding hands when we're together.

After a few moments of silence Joe moves his arm and stands up, I watch as he holds out a hand for me.

"Where're we going?"

Without answering the question Joe takes hold of my hand and helps me up. "Don't move." He said letting go of my hand. Before I can say anything he runs towards a small family that a sitting a little further up the beach. Feeling a little self conscious about standing here alone I walk in the direction of Joe, as I get closer I see Joe handing his phone over to a guy who I guess is the dad.

"Joe-"

"Come on." He said taking me hand and moving me into position so I was looking away from the ocean.

"What are you doing?" I ask

"I'm replacing the photo Ashley destroyed."

I can't help but smile and before Joe can move away or doing anything I give him a hug. "Thank you." I say my voice echoing against his chest. Feeling Joe's arms wrap around me makes me hug him tighter.

Remembering there's a guy waiting to take our picture, I let go of Joe so he can go back to his family. Standing next to each other I wrap one arm around Joe's waist and he puts his around my shoulders, both smiling we wait for the guy to take the photo.

-----

Turning off the engine as I pull up the cliff where Erica used to go as her ‘safe place' I look at her and see that she's got another sad look on her face. Since we got here she's looked unhappy and I've been trying to make her smile and every so often she will. I'm hoping that maybe being here will turn the day around for her. Maybe this was a mistake, I only brought her here because I thought it would help to forget about the whole Ashley situation; and I was also hoping that it would give her some good memories to look back on when she thought about this place.

"Joe." Erica brought me away from my thoughts as she waved a hand in my face.

"Sorry. What did you say?"

"Are we getting out?" she laughed

"We can do." I nod "I thought we could watch the sun set and then head home."

Erica unbuckled her seat belt and opened the door. I watched her for a moment when she closed the door and started walking closer to the edge. She turned back to face the car and noticed I hadn't followed. Before she can walk back I finally get out.

"Took your time." She laughed as I got closer. "What's wrong?" She asked more seriously, taking hold of my hand and standing next to me so she was looking out at the Ocean.

"Nothing."

"Liar." she said nudging me with her hip.

"We can head back now if you want." I sigh looking down at her.

"No, I wanna stay a little longer. This was always my favourite spot."

Moving Erica in front of me i wrap both my arms around her, resting my head against hers. At least the day wasn't a total disaster.

***

"Er... Erica." I said as my car slowed down and came to a gradual stop in the middle of an empty wood surrounded highway. Looking at Erica she's still asleep, she has been for about 20 minutes now. What is with her a falling asleep in the car? I reach out to lightly shake her and continue until her eyes open.

"Hmm, are we back?" she murmured still half asleep.

"Not exactly."

"What do you mean?" She yawned

"The car has stop." I vaguely explain.

"Turn it back on then." Shifting in her seats she closes her eyes again.

Knowing that it wouldn't work I turn the key in the ignition and listen to the struggling engine as it fails to start. Erica finally realises what's happening and sits up, much more alert then before.

"What did you do?" she asked her eyes widening a little.

"I didn't do anything. The car was moving, now it's not."

"Why?"

"I don't know. I'm not a mechanic." Looking at her i raise my eyebrows waiting for her next remark.

"Joe this isn't funny. What are we going to do?" she panicked

"Don't worry, I'll go have a look and see if I can fix it."

"Whoa!" Erica shouted grabbing my arm "You're not going out there. It's pitch black and like you said you're not a mechanic."

"Erica I'm just going on the other side of the windshield. Nothing is going to happen." I laugh

"How do you know? Maybe Ashley did it, maybe she's hiding in the trees waiting for you to go out there so she can kill us and drag our corpses into the woods." Erica stopped to take a deep breath.

"Seriously? What twisted movies do you watch? Besides Ashley doesn't know we're here."

"Ok well maybe there's a serial killer living in the woods."

"You know what you're right. I forgot about the woodsman serial killer who just happens to live in this very spot, waiting for cars to break down so he can kill the drivers."

Rolling my eyes and opening the door I get out and open the hood of the car, I look down at the engine the headlights my only source of light. The more I stare down at it the more confused I get. I'm a poor excuse for a man; I don't even know the inside of my car. Lowering the hood slightly I look at Erica who's looking nervously outside at all angles, probably waiting for a killer waving a chainsaw to come out of nowhere.

Giving up I slam the hood closed and get back into the car.

"Yea, I don't know how to fix it." I sigh

"Oh well that's just great. We're in the middle of nowhere in a car that doesn't work, we have no food-" Erica paused to look at her phone "-And I have no signal! God knows how long it's going to be before another car comes along, and knowing my luck it'll be-"

"A serial killer?" I interrupt knowing exactly what she's about to say.

"I'm not kidding Joe, this is a serious problem." She said slapping my arm.

"Just calm down." I laugh trying to hold her hands so she can't hit me again

"I hope you know this is your fault." She muttered pulling out my grip and crossing her arms.

"Last time I checked I didn't have the power to break cars with my mind."

"Well this little trip was your idea." she snapped

"I was trying to do something nice. So we could actually spend some time together, like a normal couple." I said not being able to control my voice getting louder.

"Well next time you want to spend some time together don't take me to the place that made my life hell." Erica paused to lean back in her seat clearing starting to stress herself out "Jesus Joe, I spent half my life trying to get out that place and you thought it would be a good idea to put me back!" She shouted uncrossing her ams.

"Where are you going?" I ask watching her reach out and open the door.

"I'm going to see if I can get a signal so I can call someone to help us out."

"Let me guess. You're going to call Kenny!"

Glaring at me Erica slams the door shut and I watch as her figure starts to disappear into the darkness as she continues to walk further up the road.

It's not long before I start worrying for Erica and the fact she gone off on her own. God damn it. If I get killed it's her fault.

Getting out the car I quickly try and catch up to her. "Erica!" I shout seeing her with her arm raised in the air, the light from the screen making her easier to spot. "Will you please come back and get in the car."

Without looking at me she continues waving her arm in the air "And do what? We're just going to sit there hoping someone shows up." she finally answers.

"We just have to wait till morning. As soon as the sun comes up we can at least see where we're going rather then aimlessly walking around in the dark. Whatever you're doing isn't helping anyway."

Erica drops her arm in defeat and looks at me as if she's about to cry. Shaking her head she walks passed me and heads back to the car.

-----

Getting back into the car I lean back against the seat. I hate this! I hate the feeling of being helpless and guess what. Being stranded here is making me helpless! Hearing Joe open the door I don't look at him, I keep my eyes firmly in the lights coming from the car. Looking at him will make me break down; I almost did just now when I knew he was right about having to wait till morning and that I wasn't helping. If I break down in front of him I'm being weak, and I know he's seen me cry a million times but this is different. I don't know why but it is.

"Erica I'm sorry." Joe sighs placing his hand over mine "If I knew you'd hate going back I wouldn't have taken you. I just wanted to give you something positive, so it wasn't all bad."

"It's not all bad." I mutter moving my hand from under his and crossing my arms "I have all the good memories I want from that place. They're with my dad and you know that."

"Erica-" reaching out to hold my hand again I stop him

"Joe, just stop. I really don't want to do this." I sigh then turn my back on him so I can rest my head on the window.

Closing my eyes I try to stop the tear from coming out my eye but it manages to escape and runs down my face.

"I know you don't like it but you're going to have to talk about it eventually." Joe says placing his hand on my back.

By ‘it' I know Joe means my dad. I've only ever told Joe the small stuff when it came to my dad. I never told him what he really wants to know; and as far as I'm concerned my dad's death has nothing to do with Joe and he's never going to know unless I decide to should. I don't even like to think about it, let alone talk about it.

**

Hearing Joe shift in his seat I look at the clock on the dashboard

2:57am

I could lie and say I've just woken up but I haven't, I never fell asleep. I just kept my eyes closed because I knew Joe would leave me alone if he thought I was sleeping. The only downside to not sleeping is it gives me time to think. A lot; and now I feel even guiltier for reacting the way I did about this whole situation. This isn't Joe's fault, he was trying to do something nice for me and I understand that, I do but I just wish he would have asked me about it. He knows how I feel about that town. Even so I should still say I'm sorry, so he doesn't think I hate him.

Sitting up in my seat I turn my body to face him. "Joe." I whisper "Joe, are you awake?"

"Yea" I heard he quietly respond after a few moments. I think he was trying to decide whether to say anything or just ignore me.

"I'm sorry.... I shouldn't have reacted the way I did."

After a few moments Joe looks back at me, he looks just as tired as I do. Finally he turns round to face me. "I don't want you to think I don't appreciate what you tried to do because I really do. I just- you don't need to make happy memories for me. We've got the rest of our relationship to make them together." Smiling weakly I wait for Joe to smile back but he doesn't, instead he pulls out his phone and starts tapping it in his hands.

"I was looking at the picture that we asked the guy to take. He took two; one was a picture of us hugging." Pausing to smile Joe looked up at me "It actually came out pretty good; I like it more then the posed picture."

Reaching out, I hug Joe and thankfully he hugs me back. "You know I love you, right?" I said resting my chin on his shoulder.

"Yea. I love you too." Joe whispered

"About my dad-"

"Erica it's fine. I can't expect you to suddenly want to talk about it. You'll do it when you're ready." Feeling Joe kiss my hair I close my eyes and breathe in his scent. "I just wish you'd trust me." He sighed.

I don't know if I was meant to hear that or not but I remain silent and pretend I didn't.