Tumors And Hearts

Xx-nikki-xX

I looked at the calendar hanging on my refrigerator. August 2, 2010. I mentally calculated four months from now. I would be dead by December.

You’re probably wondering how I know that. Well, to put it very plain and simple: I have a brain tumor. The doctors have done everything they can to get rid of it, but nothing seems to work. This morning when I went in to see them I was told that I only had four months to live.

I headed into my bathroom and looked at my reflection in the mirror. I hated the way I looked. The stupid tumor had been doing its damage for over a year now. I used to be a little on the chunky side, but now I’m so skinny that people think I have an eating disorder or something. My skin used to be so tan, but now I swear I’m getting paler and paler as the weeks go by. My long black hair used to be thick, soft, and shinny. Now it’s just… thin… and straight… and just… there. Sometimes I even wonder if I’m starting to go bald. My dark brown eyes that were once so bright are now starting to dim. And my face that people used to tell me looked so happy, is now filled with sadness.

“I hate you.” I said to my reflection before leaving.

I entered my room and looked around at it. Tears filled my eyes, threatening to spill over. I only had four months left to live here. I collapsed on my bed and let the tears flow that I had been holding in since I left the hospital.

There was suddenly a knock at my door. I quickly sat up and wiped my face, ridding myself of all the tears I had already shed.

“Come in.” I called.

The door opened a little bit and my Aunt Dixie stuck her head in.

“Hey honey.” she said. “How you feelin?”

I sniffled. “Like shit.”

She laughed lightly. “I kinda figured.” she said coming in all the way. “You haven’t said anything since you got back from the doctor’s. I know things aren’t really going well right now, but try and look on the bright side.”

“I’m dying, Aunt Dixie.” I said. “In four months I’ll be dead. There’s no bright side to something like that.”

“Oh… right.” She came and sat down on the edge of my bed. “Is there anything I can do?”

I sighed. “Not really.”

My door was pushed open – Aunt Dixie failed to close it all the way – and my pit bull, Sadie, came into the room. She came over to me and put her head in my lap.

“Hey Sadie.” I said scratching her behind her ears.

My head started hurting – this was the third time today already, and it was only 1:30. I looked around my room at all the wrestling posters hanging on my walls, trying to ignore the sudden pain. I was a huge wrestling fan. But then I guess I kinda had to be – I was the niece of the president of TNA.

I sighed again and looked back at my Aunt Dixie. She was suddenly wearing a big smile – the kind she usually wore when she just had a good idea.

“Why are you smiling like that?” I asked uneasily.

“I just had the most wonderful idea, honey!” she exclaimed.

“O…kay…”

“I want you to be a Knockout!”

I looked at her, totally shocked. Even Sadie turned to look at her. I must not have heard her right. “What did you just say?” I asked.

“I want you to be a Knockout!” she repeated smiling.

“A Knockout. As in a TNA Knockout?”

“No, Nikki, I want you to become a Diva in the WWE.” she said sarcastically. “You can become best friends with Michelle McCool and Layla!”

I rolled my eyes. “I always knew you’d go crazy, Aunt Dixie.”

“Why do you think I’m crazy?” she asked.

“Because you want me – me – to wrestle!” I exclaimed jumping up, making Sadie run out of the room with her tail between her legs.

“Well, what’s wrong with that?”

“Are you kidding me?! I can’t even walk on flat ground without finding something to trip over! How the hell am I going to wrestle?!”

“Oh, Nikki,” she said. “You’d be an amazing wrestler! All it would take is some training!”

She was starting to convince me, so I changed tactics. “I think you missed the part where I’ll be dead in four months!”

“Consider this a going away present.” she said. “I’ll have a special four-month contract made up for you.”

“But Aunt Dixie-”

She stood up and came over to me. “Nicolette.” she said putting her hands on my shoulders. “Why are you saying no to this? I know for a fact that this has been a dream of yours for a while now. You said yourself that you’re dying. What have you got to lose?”

I smiled. “You’re right.” I said hugging her. “When do I start?”

“How about next Monday?” she asked whipping out her phone. “I want you to start as soon as possible. We can give you this week to train and get prepared. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a few calls to make.”

I watched my Aunt Dixie walk out of my room, her phone already glued to her ear.

I couldn’t believe it. I was going to be a TNA Knockout! It had been a dream of mine for years and now it was actually going to happen!

Smiling, I went to find Sadie. I hated scaring her.

Xx-shannon-xX

I stood in the doorway of what was now officially my house as Julie finished packing her stuff in her car.

“I’m sorry Shannon.” she said for probably the millionth time.

“It’s okay.” I sighed. “I guess we just weren’t right for each other.” I had been saying that a lot in the past week.

I gave her a fake smile but she didn’t look convinced. “I didn’t mean for things to happen like this.” she said sounding truly sorry.

“It’s okay.” I said again. “Really, it is.”

She closed the trunk of her car and came over to me. She wrapped her arms around my middle and buried her face in my chest. It was too much.

I quickly turned away from her as tears formed in my eyes.

“Shannon?” Julie said sounding worried.

“You should probably get going.” I said trying to make my voice sound as normal as possible.

“Okay… bye Shannon…”

I didn’t turn around until I heard her car start and back out of the driveway. Once I was sure she was gone, I broke down and let the tears flow.