Just Traveling Through

I wasn’t sure what I was doing. I mean, I knew what I was doing right now – I was at the airport to pick my family up and bring them back to my apartment. But as for what I would be doing within the next 4 hours, I had no idea.

“I can’t believe my baby is getting married,” my mother cooed on the drive back. Dad and Missie had fallen asleep in the backseat. “I can’t wait to meet Myles. And Ryder, my precious little grandson.”

I licked my lips nervously as I turned onto my street. “Eric and John have been here for a few weeks.”

The light left her eyes and I saw her lips fall downward. “What are they doing here?”

I parked the car and gnawed on my lip. I couldn’t bring myself to look at her, my eyes trained on Eric, John and Ryder running around in the grass behind the apartment building.

“Amelia,” she prompted shortly.

John chased Ryder across the yard, disappearing behind the building, while Eric stopped and watched. He had a hand in his hair, scratching the lower part of his neck. His hand dropped and he turned slightly, his eyes catching mine. He smiled brightly, causing my heart to skip and my throat to tighten.

“Amelia, please, answer me.”

“He’s the father,” I whispered. I felt my lips curving into a smile as Ryder jumped into Eric’s arms and he lifted him up, kissing his cheek. “I love him, Mom.”

“Amelia,” she muttered, almost afraid of what I had just admitted. “How can you say that? You’re getting married.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I told her. “I’ve been in love with him since the day we met. He’s my other half.”

She looked out the windshield at Eric and Ryder. John walked over to the two and said a few things to Eric before he noticed I had returned with my family. John motioned toward the building as he said something else, to which Eric nodded. John then disappeared inside and Eric carried Ryder over to my car.

“You need to do what’s best for you, baby,” she advised. “I know you’re feeling torn and conflicted right now. All I can tell you is that love, no matter what, will always conquer your fears of the unknown. The right choice is the one who makes you feel secure and safe, like you’ve invincible as long as they’re around.”

I nodded, looking directly at her. “I know what I have to do. Ready to meet your grandson?”

As she went to meet Ryder, I woke up Dad and Missie. They, too, went and fawned over my baby. The grandparent instincts took over immediately. They hardly even noticed as I guided them up to my flat. They all sat on the couch and loved Ryder. And of course he ate it right up.

“Myles isn’t here,” John informed me as I walked down the hallway to my bedroom. He was standing in the doorway of the bathroom. “He went out with his best men I guess.”

I nodded, half interested in what he was saying. “My parents are here.”

He nodded, too, and I could tell he was just as interested as I was. “Can I talk to you?”

I pursed my lips and motioned for him to follow me into my room. I closed the door behind us. He took a seat on the edge of the bed, staring intently at me. I swallowed hard, stiffly making my way across the room and to the dress I had hidden in the back of the closet. I pulled it out, laying it next to John.

“I can’t believe you’re going to really do this,” he whispered. “He’s going to be devastated, you know.”

I felt my stomach flip. “I know.”

“I don’t understand how you can do this to him,” he continued. “He’s been wasting away since you left. But then suddenly you come back, like some kind of second chance at life for him. You’re just going to crush that all over again? You’re going to hurt him more than you realize, Mill.”

“You don’t think I know that?” I snapped. “I’ve been in love with him for a long time, John. He’s not the only one who has been hurt.”

He looked down at the floor. His fingers were tightly laced together and his thumbs twiddled together nervously. I felt my heart quicken and my breathing pick up as the expression on his face changed from anger to understanding.

“These past few weeks that we’ve been here have meant a lot to him,” he told me. He kept his eyes down, away from me and definitely away from the dress. “He’s been able to bond with Ryder and, Millie, he’s fallen in love with the kid. So losing you will be one thing – he’s done it before and I’ll be able to get him through that again, but losing Ryder.. I don’t know if he’ll be able to do it.”

“What do you want me to do, John?” I sighed. “I can’t give everything up because of a high school sweetheart.”

“He’s not just some guy you can forget about, Amelia.” John had raised his voice now, and he was standing. He looked at me not as someone fighting for his best friend, but as someone who truly knew me better than I knew myself; he knew exactly what my heart wanted and how hard my head was denying it. “You can fight it all you want but if you go through with this wedding, you’re going to mess up the best thing that has ever happened to you. Eric loves you. Hell, he’s never loved anyone more. And Ryder? Ryder is a blessing, Mills. Ryder is living proof that you and Eric belong together.”

I licked my lips and shook my head. I looked away from him, reaching for the dress.

“No, listen to me.” He grabbed my arm and tilted my chin upward. “We all know that this Myles guy is great. He loves you and he’s been there for you, but Eric has been searching for you. Would this guy do that if you left? Would he fight for you? Because I know for a fact that Eric would die for you.”

Before I could say anything, there was a small knock on the door and Eric’s head peeked in. “I put Ryder down for a nap.”

I quickly brushed away the stray tears spilling over my lashes and smiled. “Thanks.”

“Your parents are hungry, so I was going to take them to the market down the street,” he continued, his eyes briefly locked with John’s. “We’ll be back in a few minutes.”

“Thanks, Eric,” I said softly.

He nodded and shut the door as he left. I waited until I heard their voices leave the apartment before I looked to John. I carefully folded the dress in half and pushed it into a duffle bag. The alarm clock on the bedside table said it was 10:28, meaning my time to make a decision was running out – and fast. “I need your help.”

He nodded, taking the bag from me. “Just tell me what to do.”