Somehow Saving You

I stood on the front porch feeling like a child nervously asking the creepy neighbor for the ball they accidentally shot through their window back. I took a deep breath before knocking. I could faintly hear the sound of someone walking down the stairs. Finally the door opened to reveal Leana. She had bags under her eyes, her eyes themselves were bloodshot, and her hair was a mess. She wore a shirt of Jimmy’s that literally looked like a dress on her. She looked up at me wearily.

“Hey Cat,” Leana greeted, her voice cracking ever so slightly. I automatically took her in my arms as I temporarily forgot my problems. She clung to me as I led us inside, shutting the door with my foot. I went to head upstairs, but she vigorously shook her head no. “Please just let me stay in the living room.”

“Okay sweetie,” I cooed, leading her in there. I laid her on the couch, draping a blanket across her before sitting Indian style on the floor by her head. The living room seemed like the place she was in the most. Clothes and empty food containers littered the floor. Cigarette buds that had been smoked until the end, a habit Leana never used to have, over filled ashtrays. Empty beer bottles, another thing Leana never did, were dropped haphazardly on the floor. I can’t believe how bad she’s gotten.

“Cat?”

“Hmm?” I looked back at Leana who was clutching a brown bear with a red bow that I didn’t notice her grab. I remembered it perfectly. Jimmy had given that to her on their two year anniversary. At the time he couldn’t afford some big piece of jewelry so he came to me, begging to help. I just told him to get something that shows he cared. He gave her the bear with a ring pop attached to the bow. She laughed and claimed she loved it before licking the candy.

“Do you think I’m crazy?” That question stunned me. How could she think I thought she was insane? What has she been thinking of?

“What do you mean Lee? Why would I think you’re crazy?” I asked, baffled. She shrugged and hugged the bear, Jimmy Junior as they named it when Leana first got it, tighter. “No, really. What’s going on to make you think you’re crazy?”

“Promise not to make fun of me?”

“Of course I won’t.” She sighed, burying her face into the bear.

“I fee immy and falk to em.” My eyebrows scrunched together as her words muffled in the bear.

“What? I didn’t hear you.”

Leana took a deep breath before clearly declaring, “I see Jimmy and talk to him.”

“Oh.” Her face fell back into the bear in defeat. I patted her back and rubbed it up and down. “I don’t think you’re crazy girly.”

“Thanks,” she muttered, drowsiness filling her. After a few minutes her breathing evened out letting me know she was asleep. I sighed as I stood to my feet. So much for getting help with my problems. I went into the kitchen, which was shockingly clean, and grabbed a black garage bag. That damn living room was pissing me off. Twenty minutes later it was spotless again. I tied off the bag and placed it by the front door to take it out when I leave.

I headed up the stairs to head intoJimmy and Leana’s room. I pushed open the door to see it spotless still. I shrugged, not truly bothered by this. I walked over to the closet and pulled it open. In there it was a mess. Jimmy’s clothes was all over as if someone had taken them on and off. I smiled, seeing my favorite jacket of his. I pulled it on, melting into it. It still had his smell clinging to it. I zipped it up, deciding Leana wouldn’t mind. If not, she can take it up with Jimmy.

“Nice to know you care so much,” I turned around to see Jimmy sitting on what was his side of the bed. He tried to pick up the picture on the end table, his favorite picture of him and Leana, but his hand just phased through. He sighed as he muttered, “That’s getting really old.”

“Well she knows this one was my favorite,” I defended, sitting next to him. I leaned my head on his shoulder which held me up. “Why is it that I don’t go through you unlike everyone else?”

Jimmy shrugged. “Maybe it’s just a blood thing.”

“Doesn’t sound very fair,” I remarked. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders as he sighed.

“I know, but it’s better that way. If everyone could see me they’d freak.”

“Well that’s not fair for me and Leana to deal with that emotional stress and no one else,” I whined.

“Are you okay baby girl?” I groaned, hiding my face in my hands. My fingers, actually, barely peeked out of the jacket’s sleeves. Damn Jimmy for having such long arms.

“No! I fucked up the drumming for the song, I still don’t want to get over my child, and you keep disappearing so much I don’t know if you’re gone or not!” I sobbed. Jimmy hugged me tightly, cooing and shushing me.

“It’s all going to be okay Cat. It may take some time, but it’ll be okay.”

“Why do you keep disappearing so much? I know it can’t just be because you are seeing Leana. There’s something else going on you’re not letting me know about. What’s going on Jimmy?” His lips pursed into a straight line.

“It’s nothing to worry about Cat.” I gave him a disbelieving look.

“Are you sure?”

“I swear. Now answer the phone. Brian’s going to freak if you don’t.” I pulled out my phone from my pocket just before it began to vibrate. I flipped it open, not even bothering to read the caller ID.

“Hello?”

“Are you okay Cat?”

“I’m fine. I’m about to head to your house. I’ll see you soon.” With that I hung up, placing the phone in the front, right jacket pocket. I gave Jimmy another squeeze before standing to my feet. “I’ll see you later, right?”

“Yeah. I promise.” With that I nodded, heading out of the room. I grabbed the trash before leaving and locking the door with my spare. I dumped the bag at the end of the sidewalk before getting into Brian’s car. I gave one last glance at the house before backing out and speeding off.