Somehow Saving You

I fell down again, cursing myself. It was a simple four block, straight shot to my house from Brian’s and I couldn’t even do that. I wrapped the jacket tighter around my body as it involuntarily shivered. Stupid California weather being a bipolar bitch. I buried my face into my hands as I tried to block out the cold. It only succeeded in making me think of why I left Brian’s and was now stranded on the streets at eight at night.

I sighed as I turned off Brian’s car. I could see him peering at me through the front window. It was kind of creepy since his house was the only one with lights on. Plus he had a small crack in the curtains he was looking through. I climbed out, locking the door behind me. Right before I reached his house’s steps he yanked the door open.

“Cat, you have a way of scaring me,” he remarked with an empty chuckle as he hugged me.

“Sorry,” I muttered. Brian leaned back hurt when I failed to hug him. I walked pass him and hung his keys up on the key rack. I walked into the living room and sat on the couch, Pinkly jumping up next to me. I patted my lap which made her curl up in my lap.

“What’s that?” I looked up to see him glaring at me. Well, more like my chest. I looked down to see Jimmy’s hoodie zipped up to my mid stomach.

“That’s called a jacket,” I replied sarcastically.

“Why are you wearing it?” he demanded, his eyes narrowed.

“Because it’s my deceased brother’s and I don’t think he would mind if I had it?”

“It’s not yours,” Brian snarled. Pinkly whimpered, shaking in my lap. My eyes narrowed up at the so called man in front of me.

“It’s not yours either Brian.”

“Doesn’t mean you can just take it.”

“Doesn’t mean you can tell me I can’t.”

“Why do you always have to be such a fucking child?!” Brian shouted, punching the wall next to him. Pinkly ran off, her tail between her legs. Brian didn’t look guilty in the least. I stood to my feet, getting into my boyfriend’s face as much as I could.

“You’re one to talk. What the fuck do you call this?” I exclaimed, motioning at us both.

“What the hell is that suppose to mean?” I laughed darkly.

“You’re suddenly screaming at me for fucking nothing. You-” I jammed a finger into his chest. “Are being a child. Pent up all these damn emotions and then let them out at the smallest things. You don’t really care that I have one of Jimmy’s jackets, you’re just pissed because you probably didn’t get it first.”

“You are so fucking stupid,” Brian muttered under his breath, trying to walk away. I yanked his arm and turned him back around.

“How? How am I stupid? Please, enlighten me!”

“You are acting like he never left! You act as if he meant nothing. You take his jacket like it’s a goddamn charity event. Did Leana say anything?” I stayed silent as I remembered Leana was asleep. “No, she didn’t. God Catherine, do you ever think of anything but yourself?”

“You know what Brian? You are the most dense, arrogant, self-centered, egotistical asshole I always knew you were! I don’t care about Jimmy? Who the fuck do you think can’t sleep at night because I’m afraid of remembering all the bad times with Jimmy instead of the good/ I never think of good anymore because life is just getting worse and worse. You know what? I don’t need a so called boyfriend making it worse.” I stormed out of the living room, tearing open the front door.

“Fine. From now on all we are, are business partners. If you can even call it that.” With those words I slammed the door shut. I stormed off down the steps as I remembered the way home.

“Why did all the Haners have to be such hot heads?” I groaned.

“Cat? Is that you?” I turned around to see a very familiar blond coming towards the curb I was sitting on. I read the numbers on the curb and let out a ‘hmm’. It seems I have ended up on the curb of Johnny and Lacey’s house.

“Hey Lace,” I greeted, an uncontrollable stutter in there. Lacey helped me stand and shivered in her pajama pants and long sleeve Hollister shirt.

“Holy shit Cat, you’re freezing,” she exclaimed.

“I didn’t noticed,” I mused. She rolled her eyes, taking my hand and leading me to the front door. As we crossed over the threshold the sudden heat gave me Goosebumps.

“What are you doing baby?” Johnny called before he appeared from the kitchen. His eyes grew wide as Lacey led me into the living room. “Holy fuck Cat. Your lips are blue!”

“Get her some of the coffee please Johnny.” He nodded, scurrying off into the kitchen again. Lacey sat me in front of the fire they had roaring in the fireplace. She disappeared only to show back up seconds later. Two thick blankets were draped around my shoulders and three quilts across my lap. Just then Johnny appeared, offering a hot mug of coffee to me.

“Thanks,” I told both. Lacey hugged me and kissed Johnny, bidding us both goodnight. Someone was working early tomorrow.

“Are you okay Cat?” Johnny asked as he plopped down next to me. I stared into the flames that were dancing before my eyes.

“I’m fine.”

“Liar.” I sighed, taking a sip of my coffee. The crisp, brown liquid burned my tongue. I smiled as I realized Johnny had remembered my four scoops of sugar.

“Me and Brian are no more.” It fell silent.

“You’re kidding, right?”

“No. Brian thinks I am acting unremorseful for Jimmy. If my memory recalls correctly that was what I was doing about three months. But you know, Brian will be Brian.” I remarked with a shrug. Johnny sighed, pulling me into his side.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault."

"He'll come around when he calms down."

"Maybe. Can I sleep here tonight?” I asked pathetically. He nodded. I kissed his cheek, placing my mug on the coffee table. I put the blankets and quilts in a pile on the couch. I’ll fold them up tomorrow morning. Johnny led me to the guestroom before leaving. I curled up under the comforter with my knees to my chest. I screwed my eyes shut and willed myself into a dreamless sleep.