Somehow Saving You

“Caaaat.” I rubbed my eyes with my hoodie sleeve, yawning loudly. When I finally blinked away the morning blur I was met with Jimmy’s face. I groaned, flipping over so my back was to him. “Hey! Get back over here.”

“Go away Jimmy. I’m tired.”

“Who cares?” I scoffed, flipping him the bird over my shoulder. “Bitch. Now seriously, get up.”

“Give me one good reason.”

“Because Brian is arguing with Johnny.” I don’t think I’ve ever sat up so fast in my life. No, I’m actually pretty sure I haven’t. I had gone up so fast I flew forward and off the bed.

“Why is it always me?” I whined, pushing myself up to my hands and knees.

“Because you never were very graceful.” I glared up at my older brother who was now in front of the door. I climbed to my feet before reaching through Jimmy to grab the door. I pulled it open and it flew straight through Jimmy as I ran around him. “That felt so fucking weird.”

“Shut up,” I whispered as I tip toed down the hallway. I paused before I walked into the doorway of the living room where I heard voices coming from. More specifically, Johnny’s and Brian’s.

“Give me one good reason to let you see Catherine, Brian.” I had never heard Johnny sound so stern. To Brian none the less. Johnny was usually, no offense to him, chicken shit. Why now all of a sudden?

“Because I need to talk to her.”

“You’ve done enough talking last night. She showed up on our curb freezing and blue in the lips. She looked like she had been crying and sitting out there for hours. And why? Because you said that she was ‘remorseful’ for her brother’s death. What the fuck Brian?!”

“I said some stupid things. That’s what I want to fix. I didn’t mean any of it. I was just angry.” My heart felt out for Brian. His voice was cracking as if he were on the verge of tears. The only time I remembered Brian ever crying was the night I told him Jimmy died. He had cried with me all night.

“Brian, you hurt her. I really don’t think a little 'I’m sorry' is going to fix this. She was crying in her sleep last night. Hardcore crying. She woke me up in middle of the night, screaming for you.” I felt a stabbing in my heart. I did? I sank to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. I didn’t remember a thing. Why didn’t Johnny wake me?

“Are you okay Cat?” Jimmy asked quietly, a hand on my shoulder. I shook my head. It was silent in the living room for a few minutes.

“You’re right Johnny. I should just leave. I’ll be back if I can think of a way to fix this.” I heard the sound of the sliding door open and close. I heard footsteps approaching my spot, but I just sat there motionless.

“Cat! How long have you been there?” I looked up to see Johnny looking down at me. He was still just in his black pajama pants and a white wife beater. His blond hair was unmade and the definition of bed hair.

“Not long. Did I really wake you last night screaming?” He sighed, running a hand through his hair. He sat next to me with his legs propped up. He wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against him, much like he did last night. I physically relaxed into his side.

“Yeah. You kept asking for Brian. I eventually had to just tell you I was him and you calmed down. You just fell asleep after that, didn’t say anything else.” I sighed, burying my head into his shoulder. “Who broke it off?”

“I stupidly did,” I replied, my words slightly muffled.

“Why?”

“Because I thought I'd feel better that way.”

“Do you?”

“No.” It fell silent. “I should call him, shouldn’t I?”

“Do you want to?” I thought on it.

“No.”

“What do you want to do?”

“I want to record the drum tracks.”

“Okay. I’ll- Wait, what?” Johnny turned to me with a bewildered expression.

“I want to record the tracks. I fucked it up yesterday, I need to do it today.”

“But no one’s at the studio. It‘s only seven thirty in the morning.”

“You have a spare key, don’t you? And you know how to press a record button.”

“Well yeah, but-”

“No buts, let’s go.” I stood up, staring down at him expectantly. He sighed, staring up at me tiredly.

“There’s no way to change your mind, is there?” I just continued to stare at him. He sighed again but stood to his feet. “Fine. But you owe me big time.”

“Deal.” I walked back into the guestroom to grab my shoes that I had kicked off in the night. Once those were slipped on I also grabbed my glasses I had placed on the end table. I quickly pulled my hair out of it's ponytail then back in a bun before leaving the room. I walked into the hall just as Johnny left his room. He was now in black jeans, a navy blue pullover, and black Vans. A black beanie was pulled over his head and he was rubbing his eyes tiredly. “You know, I could just take the key and go myself.”

“Fuck no. I’m already up so you’re stuck with me,” Johnny stated as he scooped up his keys and led the way out. I rolled my eyes, following him. He locked the door before heading over to his red Ford F150. I climbed into the passenger seat as he turned on the engine. Heat automatically blasted over my body. I shivered as my cold legs got adjusted to the heat.

It was a ten minute drive until we pulled to a stop in front of the studio. Johnny turned off the truck which caused Pantera to stop playing from the speakers. I shoved open my door and jogged to the door of the studio. Johnny was next to me in seconds, unlocking the door. We hurried inside as Johnny flicked on the lights. It was dead empty.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Johnny asked as he walked over the recording equipment. My eyes scanned over the millions of buttons. I sure hope Johnny knew what he was doing.

“I’m dead sure,” I replied sternly. I walked through the door that still had the drum set up. I shut the door, taking a deep breath. I sat on the stool and slid off my jacket. I placed it carefully on the carpet before picking up the drumsticks. I slipped on the headphones before looking towards the two way mirror. “Can you play the track Johnny?”

“Yeah. Hold on a sec.” I did as he instructed and soon the first few notes from whatever they had used kicked in. Then the guitars and bass hit. I was shocked to hear Matt’s voice finally start. They had finished everything, but the drums. I slid my hand across my throat motioning for him to cut the track.

“Okay. Here we go Johnny.”

“Got it.” With that I began to play the notes I had memorized in a night. Six minutes later I was done. It was perfect, if I do say so myself. I was breathing quite hard as I placed down the drumsticks. I was leaned over looking at the ground with my arms resting on my knees. A smile graced my lips as I thought of how I had done a task I thought impossible. I picked up the hoodie, sliding my arms through the sleeves. I stood and swayed a bit. Fuck, I hadn’t taken my pills last night.

“Are you okay Cat?”

“F-fine,” I coughed out. I fell to my knees breathing like I had ran five miles. My doctor had told me that if I skipped my medicine I'd have breathing problems. Why'd he have to be right? The door was slammed open to reveal a worried Johnny Christ. He rushed to my side and helped me stand up.

“Okay, we’re going to Brian’s to get your medicine.” Before I could argue he was leading me out of the room. He flipped off all the lights before leading us out and locking the studio’s door. He helped me into the passenger’s seat before running around to the driver’s seat. As he drove in Brian’s direction I faintly remember him calling Matt to tell him drum tracks were down. Johnny put the truck in park as we pulled in Brian’s driveway. I shut my eyes with a sigh.

“I’ll be right back.” Once I heard the door shut I opened my eyes. Johnny was hunched over, heading to the front door as he faced against the cold wind.

“So when are you going to make up with Brian?” I turned to see Jimmy sitting in the backseat.

“I’m not. Brian should be the one to apologize to me. It’s his fault I stormed off anyways. He was being a selfish dick.”

“Doesn’t mean you can’t be the bigger man and do it.”

“He’s the one with the penis.”

“Are you sure?” I laughed darkly.

“We were the ones to have sex, remember?”

“Wish I didn’t.” Just then the door opened again to reveal Johnny with a duffel bag in his hand.

“Brian gave me your medicine, smokes, lighter, and some clothes. You’re gonna be staying at me and Lacey’s house for a while.” I nodded as he placed the duffel bag behind me in the back. As Johnny backed out of the driveway, a movement in the corner of my eye made me look over. Brian stood in the front window staring at the truck. I closed my eyes as Johnny sped off down the street.