House Full Of Roses

I pushed my dark fringe out of my eyes as I started to wipe the bar for the fifth time that day. I pushed the cloth along the entire surface and watched as the spilt beverages were soaked into the material. I was used to this, though. Sometimes I just cleaned automatically so that I would have something to do. I had found that it makes the day go by a lot quicker.

I was three hours into my working day now. It was a Monday so I didn’t even have the company of my daughter to entertain me. She was the only thing that kept me going and stopped me from giving up on myself. If she weren’t there to give me a reason to work, I don’t know what I would be doing right now. Saying that, it’s not like I live the high life working at the most popular dancing bar in Huntington Beach. Every time I got up on that bar I felt a slice of my dignity fade away.

Unfortunately, there is no other job that could pay me anywhere near enough the amount that I need to maintain mine and my daughters lifestyle. Kelsey would give me money from her job -which I always managed to return to her somehow- because she thought I needed it. I loved how giving and generous she had become but I wasn’t going to take money from my sixteen year old daughter; that would be unfair on way too many levels.

I continued mechanically pushing the cloth along the surface in small circles despite there being nothing left to wipe away. I stared blankly at the black surface, not really looking at it but too deep in thought to care. It’s crazy to think that I had managed to even stay on my own two feet these past sixteen years. Getting pregnant at fifteen was definitely not ideal but I never regretting giving birth to my baby girl.

I sighed to myself when my thoughts turned to him. He made my heart thud in my chest whenever I even thought of him. When would I ever get over him? Brian Haner Jr, the love of my life and the father of my child, the man who walked out on me when I needed him the most.

Brian and I had been dating for almost two years when I fell pregnant. Not wanting a child, he left with his band to enjoy the better life. I envied him in some ways, but in other ways I was glad to see he didn’t have everything. I was the one who had our child, and that was a hell of a lot more important to me than money or fame. Of course I sent him pictures and important things from her life. But he never replied to me directly, only his manager replied. I sighed and decided to think of other things. Something more inspirational, like my daughter.

Kelsey was more than my daughter, she was my best friend. I can’t do anything but be proud of her. She’s a straight A student who works and is repulsed by drugs and alcohol. She’s the perfect teenager. I considered myself lucky but she always told me that it was how I raised her. I smiled at the thought.

I finally pulled myself out my thoughts and took the cloth away from the clean surface of the bar. Pleased with my work, I turned around and threw the cloth back into the sink where it belonged. Turning back to the bar I saw that we had a new customer so I smiled and walked over to him. He smiled back and opened his mouth to speak.

“A shot of Jack Daniels please.” I smiled at him and nodded my head. He wasn’t one of the usuals that came in here on a daily basis. I knew that mainly because he lacked the pervert look. The man was actually rather attractive. His hair was dark brown and spiked up in a style that made him look gorgeous. He had green/brown eyes that looked at me like he knew all of my secrets. That made me shiver. I shook it off and turned around to start getting his drink.

“Isn’t it a little early for the hard stuff?” I laughed, grabbing a shot glass from the shelf. He laughed in return and grinned when I placed the shot on the table.

“Nope, never.” He smiled and knocked back the shot. I shook my head in amusement.

“That will be $5 please.” I smiled and waited for him to pay. He stood up and reached into his back pocket for what I assumed was his wallet. Opening it up, he removed some bills and handed them to me.

“Thank you, sir.” Grateful to have someone to talk to, I smiled and walked over to the till to put the money away.

“Please, call me James.” I nodded my head and smiled over my shoulder at him before walking back over to him.

“Fine, thank you James. Now is there anything else I can get for you?” He pulled his lips into a straight line as if he were thinking about something. I laughed lightly and waited for him to reply. I wasn’t going to rush him; he was the only person at the bar at the time.

“How about a dance?” He grinned. I sighed. Guys only ever want one thing. I thought before smiling and nodding again. Smiling at me, he opened his wallet and placed more money on the table.

I walked over to the steps that led up to the bar and climbed up. With my heels on I was extremely high from the ground but I was used to it by now.

I strutted along the bar, shaking my hips as much as I could. It’s only for the money. I kept telling myself. I started to think about Kelsey and reminded myself I had to look after her. That was enough encouragement for me to put on a smile and act like I enjoyed dancing like this; like I do every day.

The music started in the speakers when my manager realised I was on the bar. I mimed a thank you to her before moving my body to the beat. I felt more at ease now there was music; at least I didn’t have to create my own beat too.

After ten minutes of dancing, Mandy turned the music back off and I stepped off of the bar carefully. James applauded and smirked over at me.

Bowing my head I grabbed the money off of the bar and placed it in my tip jar.

“That was quite a show.” He complemented. I thanked him and smiled again, trying to keep my only customer happy.

“Now, any more beverages I can serve you, si- I mean James?” I smiled politely and watched as he debated whether or not to have another drink. He nodded and smirked over at me again.

“You know what, I think I will. What the hell, huh?” He laughed and I joined in.

“So what would you like? Another shot of JD?” I asked, trying to be kind.

“So long as I can drink it off of you.” He smirked. It made me want to gag. Of course he was a pervert. What made me think that he wouldn’t be? He came into a dance bar for Christ’s sakes.

“Well I can’t-” I was cut off by my phone ringing in my pocket. Lyrics to beast and the harlot played behind the bar and I pulled my phone out quickly, knowing it was Kelsey’s ring tone.

“Hey babe, how’s it going?” I smiled, she would cheer me up.

“Hey Mum!” She spoke cheerily. I laughed and smiled into the phone again; this time I was really smiling, not pretending to smile.

“What’s up kid? You in your school break?”

“Yeah I was just calling to ask you if it was ok for Taylor to come over for dinner tonight?”

“Sure thing, doll. No need to ask, you know he’s always welcome in our home.” I smiled, that boy was a saint. He and Kelsey had been dating for a while now and I haven’t heard a bad word about him. I even began to call him son.

“Aww ok thanks Mum. Just thought I would check.” I laughed and looked at my heeled shoes.

“Ok well you tell my son that I’m looking forward to seeing him tonight.” I chuckled and she laughed also.

“Sure, I will. See you later Mum. Love ya!” I grinned and replied.

“Love you too, deary. See you later.” I closed the phone and turned back to James who looked slightly irritated.

“Was that your boyfriend?” He asked. I got this a lot from customers so I just sighed and forced a smile.

“No, that was my beautiful daughter.”

“Oh, well if you don’t mind, I would like that Jack Daniels shot now.” I smiled and breathed a deep sigh.

“Coming up.” I smiled and turned around to make him his drink.