Waiting for the Sun

Diem's eyes fluttered open the next morning, met with the sight of Hayley's clothed chest. That was what she saw most mornings on tour when she woke up. In Tennessee, they lived in separate apartments. The only time she got to wakeup in Hayley's arms then was if one of them decided to sleep over at the other's apartment complex. It didn't happen often, considering their opposing schedules.

Which was a shame; Diem loved being in Hayley's arms. She felt safe there.

Diem could feel Hayley's thumb rubbing circles into her lower back. The same calming sensation she felt everytime she was in Hayley's arms ran over her.

"Happy anniversary, baby," Hayley whispered.

"Happy anniversary," Diem mumbled, still not fully awake.

"You know what we're going to do today before the show?" Hayley asked.

Curious, Diem stared up at her girlfriend. Hayley had a habit of planning outlandish things for their anniversaries. The lead singer shut down a local bowling alley for the night so they could be alone on their one month anniversary. Today was their one year anniversary. Hayley probably had plans to go bungee jumping over some national monument.

As much as Diem adored her girlfriend's spontaneous nature, she didn't feel like doing anything for the day.

"We're going stay in here all day, cuddling," Hayley said.

"In bed?" Diem asked.

She couldn't remember a time she spent all day in bed without being shackled down.

Hayley nodded. She was a bit nervous that Diem wouldn't like the idea. Most of their anniversaries were more exciting. Today would be different though. Making a year was important to Hayley and she wanted to celebrate it in a way opposite their past anniversaries.

Not that their past anniversaries weren't important too. Hayley took a lot of time in planning those.

"Are we going to get out of bed to eat?" Diem asked.

"We'll order room service," Hayley replied.

"But we have a hotel room with a kitchen for once. You should let me cook for you."

Diem was good cook, Hayley couldn't deny it. She found it sweet the younger female wanted to make her food instead of going out. Most of their anniversary meals were from restaurants or fast food places.

"If you really want to cook, go ahead. You know I don't mind getting room service to let you relax. You've been working hard lately," Hayley replied.

"I know you don't mind. I'd rather cook for you," Diem said, pressing her lips to Hayley's and slipping out of bed.

Diem walked across the bedroom-like area of the hotel room and around the counter to the kitchen, Hayley's eyes remained glued to her body the entire time. She didn't have to look at Hayley to know she was looking, she could feel Hayley's eyes on her. Years of sexual torment made her skin burn everytime someone stared at her. Even if it was only Hayley looking her body up and down, Diem couldn't help remembering the men, couldn't help wanting to vomit. The things she went through were brutal, too much for an eleven-year-old to bear.

Diem shook her head, reminding herself Hayley was looking at her, not Vietnamese businessmen. She grabbed a pan from the set they bought when they found out the hotel had a kitchen and set it on the stove. They would be leaving from the hotel the next morning but Hayley and Diem felt it necessary to buy cooking equipment in case they had another hotel with a stove.

She grabbed the pancake mix off the counter, tipping it into a bowl and adding water from the sink. Diem used one of the large spoons to whisk the mix in the bowl. The substance in the bowl became a blob with each turn of the spoon. Diem admired the mass, fascinated by how the mix was so easy to make. She hadn't seen anything like it before she came to America.

A pair of hands gripped Diem's waist, a mouth attaching to her neck. Diem moaned almost immediately. A hand ran up and down her sides, underneath her shirt.

"Hayley," Diem panted, "I'm trying to cook."

"I'd rather eat you," Hayley whispered in Diem's ear, biting on her cartilage.

Diem groaned. In the back of her mind, she knew Hayley was close to seeing the one thing she wasn't ready for her to see. Hayley didn't normally focus attention on her ears when they were becoming intimate. For some reason, Hayley decided to bite her ears now.

Diem could feel Hayley kiss on the skin where the tattoo was carved. She mentally crossed her fingers, hoping that Hayley wouldn't notice. Hayley bit the skin, making Diem forget her worry and tip her head to the side, eyes shut. Diem hissed, feeling Hayley's teeth sink into her skin. Hayley pulled away.

"Shit. I'm sorry, baby. I didn't mean to bite you that hard," Hayley moved Diem's hair out of the way to inspect the damage.

The black numbers "146" stared Hayley in the face. She didn't remember Diem saying she had a tattoo.

"What's this?" Hayley asked.

Diem's eyes flew open, panic returning. She wasn't ready to tell Hayley yet.

"A tattoo," Diem replied.

"You got a tattoo for the LOVE one forty-six organization?" Hayley asked.

Diem turned her head to look at her, "The what?"

"You could have just said 'no,'" Hayley said, "So why'd you get those numbers tattooed behind your ear?"

"I was forced to get the tattoo," Diem stated.

She couldn't lie to Hayley. Ready or not, the truth would have to come out. They had been dating for a year. It was about time Hayley found out about the tattoo.

"By who?" Hayley asked.

Diem could hear the angry tone in her girlfriend's voice. Hayley was obviously ready to kill whoever did this to her. Too bad Diem didn't know where the man who once owned the sex trafficking organization was.

"I think you should sit down," Diem replied, setting the bowl of pancake mix on the table.

Hayley let go of Diem's waist, pushing herself up on the edge of the small counter and smirking at Diem. Diem rolled her eyes at her girlfriend's childlike behavior. Then again where else would she sit? On the bed?

Diem set the bowl down and took a breath. She didn't know how to tell Hayley this. Her teeth clamped down on her bottom lip subconsciously.

"You don't have to tell me," Hayley said.

She could see how uncomfortable Diem was. Forcing her girlfriend to tell her anything she wasn't comfortable with was wrong, no matter how long they had been dating.

Diem shook her head, "I have to tell you. You have a right to know."

It was now or never.

"Take your time then," Hayley said.

Diem took another deep breath, calming her nerves. She hoped Hayley wouldn't hate her after this.

"When I lived in Vietnam," Diem started, "our family was very poor. For the most part, the children begged for money. My parents both had low paying jobs. We rarely had enough money for food."

"You already told me that," Hayley cut in.

When Hayley asked about Diem's family in Vietnam, she told her pretty much the same thing. Hayley didn't know what this had to do with the tattoo.

"I never finished telling you the story," Diem stated.

"There's more?" Hayley asked.

Diem nodded, "My parents couldn't afford to take care of all of us. So, when I was eleven, my parents sold me to a brothel for extra money."

Hayley's jaw dropped. She wasn't expecting her girlfriend to tell her she worked in a brothel.

Hayley's expression wasn't helping Diem get through this. And she wasn't finished yet. There was still more to tell.

"I was kept as a child sex slave with other girls around my age. We were raped more than once a night. During the day, we wore matching red dresses and watched cartoons. I was stripped of what dignity I had, forced to do things I never dreamed of doing. My name was taken from me; it was replaced with a number, one that was pinned on my dress and tattooed behind my ear"

"One forty-six," Hayley mumbled.

Diem nodded, "Yeah. One forty-six. About six months after I was sent there, I was bought by this man. I was only supposed to stay with him for a week but the brothel was raided and shut down. I ended up belonging to the man who originally bought me for only a week because I had no where else to go. He whored me out often for money and did things to me that I'll probably never forget. I escaped when I was seventeen and I fled to the only place I knew I would have freedom: the United States."

Hayley's silence scared Diem. She was waiting for Hayley to tell her she was dirty, disgusting, that she never wanted to see her again. That was what would happen. She was convinced.

"Please don't hate me," Diem begged, tears springing to her eyes.

"Baby, I could never hate you," Hayley said, pulling Diem into a hug.

Diem let the tears flow onto Hayley's shirt, incapable of holding them in. Hayley rubbed her back while she cried. Tears ran down Hayley's face into Diem's hair. She couldn't help it. Diem had been hurt so badly in the past and now she was afraid Hayley would be angry.

"I love you," Hayley choked, "No matter what, I love you."