We're Still So Young Desperate for Attention
The next task is for Jonathon.
I shot straight up as a cold sweat dripped down my face. I took a deep breath and tried to calm down. I pulled my legs up to my chest and ran my hands through my hair before laying back down and trying to go back to sleep, but finding it impossible.
I got out of bed at 8:00 am. It’s way too earlier to be awake, but I can’t sleep. My mother’s face and my nightmare keep haunting my dreams. I sighed and got out of bed making sure not to disturb Matt. He needs some sleep. He’s been up all night with me and never once did he complain about it. I looked over at him and smiled. His hair was standing up in all different directions, but it was kind of hot. I laughed slightly to my self. He was sprawled out over the bed on stomach and started to try and grab the blanket like he was cold so I covered his back up. He stopped moving and had a smile on his face.
He was snoring slightly. No matter how much I hate when guys snore I love his. I walked into the bathroom and took a shower getting all of the tears that had dried on my face off. The shower was burning hot making my skin red, but for some reason it felt comforting. After I got out I got dressed in my pinstripe bra and matching undies before putting on my grey lounge pants and a black long sleeve shirt. I threw my shoes on and wrote Matt a letter saying I went down to the beach. I grabbed my IPod and pressed play letting Eric Clapton’s Tears In Heaven play through my ears. Tears started to flow down my face as I continued to walk. By the time that song was over I was almost at the beach. I continued to walk faster as I finally reached where the water meets that shore. I fell to my knees as I cried.
“Why did you leave me mama? You were one of the few people I have left.” I cried as my body shook with sobs, “God do you hate me this much! What have I done to deserve this? You’ve taken four people away from me! You separated me and my brother! How can you be so heartless?” I yelled as pounded my fist into the ground making sand fly up. I could have sworn I heard someone say ‘He’s closer then you think’, but there was no one around. It must have been the lack of sleep.
I finally had enough energy to pull myself up so I sitting up with my knees pulled up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them and my head resting on my knees looking out at the waves. Tears were still flowing down my face and I wasn’t even making an attempted to stop them. I was so out of it that I didn’t even hear someone come up behind me until they wrapped their arms around me. I looked over to see Lillian as Trent placed his hand on my knee. I turned into Lillian and put my head on her shoulder as I started to sob again. I felt Trent place his head on my back as I felt his tears on my back.
“You don’t deserve this. None if us do. Not even Brian or Zacky.” Lillian said as she rubbed mine and Trent’s back.
“Hey guys can I talk to Adri for a minute?” I heard Jimmy ask behind me.
“Yeah… We’ll be back at home ok?” Trent said as he pulled Lillian up. I nodded as they walked away.
“You ok?” Jimmy asked as he wrapped his arms around me from behind so my back was resting against his chest.
“Honestly?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“No. I keep think that someone out there really hates me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I’ve lost my real mother, my real father, my adopted father and now my adopted mother plus I didn’t know who my brother is.”
“I’m sorry. I think all of us know what it feels like to lose someone who was close to us.”
“Why does this happen to me Jimmy?”
“I don’t know baby girl. I don’t know. I wish I did, but I don’t.”
“I miss her.” I said as I started to sob again.
“I know you do.” He said as he wrapped his arms around my even tighter. For what felt like hours he held me as I cried.
“Why don’t we get back to the house? Matt’s probably freaking out.” He chuckled. I laughed slightly as I stood up.
When we got home I looked at the clock and saw that it was 10:30. Everyone should be waking up soon. I walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast. I started with the bacon and then the waffles. While all of it was cooking I started to wash the dishes that were in the sink. I felt two arms wrap around my waist and a soft kiss be placed in my hair.
“Morning baby.” Matt said as he buried his head in my neck.
“Morning.” I said as I turned around to face him.
“You ok?” He asked.
“I’m trying.” I said as I rested me head on his chest.
“I know you are. I’m here for you ok?” I nodded and kissed him before finishing cooking.
“Ok Zacky read your note.” Brian said as we all sat around. Zacky nodded before opening it up and read it out loud.
The next task is for Jonathon.
In the vents at Spencer’s is your note.
You must climb into the vents to retrieve it.
Do this before 11:00
Have fun.
“It’s 10:30 now. Let’s go.” Matt said as we all walked outside. The ride to Spencer’s was silent. Matt had his hand on mine and kept giving me soft and gentle kisses.
“Ok. So there’s only one vent here. So I have to go through that one.” Johnny said as he walked over to it. He grabbed a chair and opened the vent before climbing in. It snapped close after him making him jump.
“Do you see it?” Brian asked.
“Yeah. I just have to go a little farther.” HE said as we heard his knees on the metal. A couple minutes passed and we didn’t hear a sound.
“Johnny?” Matt called, but there was no response.
“Is it getting colder in here?” Zacky asked. I nodded and looked over at Alexis.
“Johnny?!” Brian called out.
“Almost got it.” He yelled back. The tempter dropped a few more degrees. It was now so cold that I could see my breath.
“Something’s not right.” I said as I looked at the ground. I heard Johnny crawl back before I looked up.
“Guys?”
“Yeah?” Brian asked back.
“I can’t open the vent.”
I got out of bed at 8:00 am. It’s way too earlier to be awake, but I can’t sleep. My mother’s face and my nightmare keep haunting my dreams. I sighed and got out of bed making sure not to disturb Matt. He needs some sleep. He’s been up all night with me and never once did he complain about it. I looked over at him and smiled. His hair was standing up in all different directions, but it was kind of hot. I laughed slightly to my self. He was sprawled out over the bed on stomach and started to try and grab the blanket like he was cold so I covered his back up. He stopped moving and had a smile on his face.
He was snoring slightly. No matter how much I hate when guys snore I love his. I walked into the bathroom and took a shower getting all of the tears that had dried on my face off. The shower was burning hot making my skin red, but for some reason it felt comforting. After I got out I got dressed in my pinstripe bra and matching undies before putting on my grey lounge pants and a black long sleeve shirt. I threw my shoes on and wrote Matt a letter saying I went down to the beach. I grabbed my IPod and pressed play letting Eric Clapton’s Tears In Heaven play through my ears. Tears started to flow down my face as I continued to walk. By the time that song was over I was almost at the beach. I continued to walk faster as I finally reached where the water meets that shore. I fell to my knees as I cried.
“Why did you leave me mama? You were one of the few people I have left.” I cried as my body shook with sobs, “God do you hate me this much! What have I done to deserve this? You’ve taken four people away from me! You separated me and my brother! How can you be so heartless?” I yelled as pounded my fist into the ground making sand fly up. I could have sworn I heard someone say ‘He’s closer then you think’, but there was no one around. It must have been the lack of sleep.
I finally had enough energy to pull myself up so I sitting up with my knees pulled up to my chest, my arms wrapped around them and my head resting on my knees looking out at the waves. Tears were still flowing down my face and I wasn’t even making an attempted to stop them. I was so out of it that I didn’t even hear someone come up behind me until they wrapped their arms around me. I looked over to see Lillian as Trent placed his hand on my knee. I turned into Lillian and put my head on her shoulder as I started to sob again. I felt Trent place his head on my back as I felt his tears on my back.
“You don’t deserve this. None if us do. Not even Brian or Zacky.” Lillian said as she rubbed mine and Trent’s back.
“Hey guys can I talk to Adri for a minute?” I heard Jimmy ask behind me.
“Yeah… We’ll be back at home ok?” Trent said as he pulled Lillian up. I nodded as they walked away.
“You ok?” Jimmy asked as he wrapped his arms around me from behind so my back was resting against his chest.
“Honestly?” I asked.
“Yeah.”
“No. I keep think that someone out there really hates me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well I’ve lost my real mother, my real father, my adopted father and now my adopted mother plus I didn’t know who my brother is.”
“I’m sorry. I think all of us know what it feels like to lose someone who was close to us.”
“Why does this happen to me Jimmy?”
“I don’t know baby girl. I don’t know. I wish I did, but I don’t.”
“I miss her.” I said as I started to sob again.
“I know you do.” He said as he wrapped his arms around my even tighter. For what felt like hours he held me as I cried.
“Why don’t we get back to the house? Matt’s probably freaking out.” He chuckled. I laughed slightly as I stood up.
When we got home I looked at the clock and saw that it was 10:30. Everyone should be waking up soon. I walked into the kitchen and started to make breakfast. I started with the bacon and then the waffles. While all of it was cooking I started to wash the dishes that were in the sink. I felt two arms wrap around my waist and a soft kiss be placed in my hair.
“Morning baby.” Matt said as he buried his head in my neck.
“Morning.” I said as I turned around to face him.
“You ok?” He asked.
“I’m trying.” I said as I rested me head on his chest.
“I know you are. I’m here for you ok?” I nodded and kissed him before finishing cooking.
“Ok Zacky read your note.” Brian said as we all sat around. Zacky nodded before opening it up and read it out loud.
The next task is for Jonathon.
In the vents at Spencer’s is your note.
You must climb into the vents to retrieve it.
Do this before 11:00
Have fun.
“It’s 10:30 now. Let’s go.” Matt said as we all walked outside. The ride to Spencer’s was silent. Matt had his hand on mine and kept giving me soft and gentle kisses.
“Ok. So there’s only one vent here. So I have to go through that one.” Johnny said as he walked over to it. He grabbed a chair and opened the vent before climbing in. It snapped close after him making him jump.
“Do you see it?” Brian asked.
“Yeah. I just have to go a little farther.” HE said as we heard his knees on the metal. A couple minutes passed and we didn’t hear a sound.
“Johnny?” Matt called, but there was no response.
“Is it getting colder in here?” Zacky asked. I nodded and looked over at Alexis.
“Johnny?!” Brian called out.
“Almost got it.” He yelled back. The tempter dropped a few more degrees. It was now so cold that I could see my breath.
“Something’s not right.” I said as I looked at the ground. I heard Johnny crawl back before I looked up.
“Guys?”
“Yeah?” Brian asked back.
“I can’t open the vent.”