Perfect Weapon
The Dream
I was sitting at the local skate park which was unusually empty; I was wearing a knee length purple dress, black and white converses, and some accessories. Everything I was wearing was given to me by Jayden; which was strange because I hadn’t touched anything he had given me yet, I just wasn’t ready for that yet.
“I always did love the colour purple on you” I froze when I heard his voice from behind me; I slowly turned around so I was facing him as tears formed in my eyes. He was standing right in front of me with his charming smile on his smile.
“Jayden? What are you… how are you?” I stuttered as I looked at him in pure shock; how was he standing here with me? How did he look so good after the accident?
“It’s a dream sweetie, sadly I’m not back. I just came to talk to you, like I did with Sienna and Chase” Jay told me softly as his smile never faded from his face; I felt my heart break a little more as he told me himself that he was gone forever.
“Will you always be able to do this? Come talk to me in my dreams?” I asked him in hope as I prayed that he would say yes; but in my gut I knew what the answer would be. Even if he did I think I’d end up going crazy if he kept visiting my dreams.
“No this will only happen this one time. No matter how much I want to come back, I can’t sweetie” He told me which just confirmed what I already knew; but it still hurt hearing him say it because once he said it, it was real.
“I already figured that but it’s nice to see you once more, what happened was… the worst” I said quietly as I felt Jay’s hands gently hold onto mine; he felt and looked so real that it was a little freaky, he is dead after all.
“That’s what I came to talk to you about Ashie. What happened was not your fault and you shouldn’t feel guilty about what happened to me, it was just my time to go and I’ve been telling everyone that I wouldn’t live for long” He told me as we started walking around the skate park slowly; which was nice to do with him.
“Nobody took that seriously Jay, we thought you were just joking. I can’t help but feel guilty about the accident, you died while I just got injured. It’s not fair” I said tightening my hold on his hand as we walked; I wanted to remember this forever. I wanted to remember his touch, his smell, how he looked.
“You shouldn’t feel bad about this sweetheart, it happened and nothing can change that. The last thing I saw was you Ash, I had fallen asleep so I didn’t see anything happen. I didn’t feel any pain” Jay told me as he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulders; that was my biggest fear that he saw the van or was in pain.
I leaned into his side more and nod a little; now that my worry was put to rest I felt better as a weight was lifted off my chest. But knowing this now didn’t stop the pain from surrounding my body; I knew the pain would take time to fade away.
“And you should think about continuing the band a bit more, don’t just throw in all our hard work because I’m not here anymore. I don’t want you to do that for me or because of me, you need to stop and think about it” He told me as he placed a kiss on my cheek as he started to fade away; the last words we spoke to each other was ‘I love you’.
I sighed softly as I woke up and stretched under the warm covers of Brian’s bed; I smiled as I remembered the dream I just had and I finally felt somewhat ready to move on from this. I looked to my right where I thought Brian was going to be laying but he wasn’t there; I giggled to myself when I heard him in the kitchen.
I was sitting on the beach watching the waves crashed onto the sand; I was relaxing in the warm sun as my muscles loosened. I was watching people pass me or go for a surf; everyone was out having fun on such a beautiful day.
Brian thought it would be a good idea if we came down to the beach for a little while; I hadn’t really been outside for over a month and honestly I missed being outside. Brian was going for a surf while I sat on the beach and waited for him; I was enjoying myself in the sun until I saw Michelle walking over to me.
“Everyone told me to watch you Ashton, but I didn’t think you would actually steal Brian from me. I trusted you and this is what you do to me, sure we weren’t really friends but you didn’t have to stab me in the back” Michelle yelled at me angrily; I knew this was going to come so I was just waiting until she found out.
“Michelle, please I can explain. It’s not as bad as it sounds, yes Brian and I did kiss while he was still with you. But it was just one time and we got caught up in the moment, I didn’t mean to hurt you” I said softly as I stood up to face her; trust me she got scary when she got this angry and she was beyond pissed.
“You kissed him? I was talking about when he broke up with me, you went straight for him. When did you fucking kiss him?” Michelle yelled as she stepped forward and got in my face; I took a deep breath as I just destroyed every chance I had of talking to her calmly.
“I’m so sorry but I thought that’s what you were talking about. It was when we were on tour, just before you left” I said quietly as people looked over at us as they walked past us; this would make an amazing headline for a magazine. Synyster Gates’ Ex Goes Crazy On Ashton Sanders!
“You fucking slut! You kissed my boyfriend when I was still on tour!” She screamed at me as she pulled back her arm; before I knew it my cheek was burning in pain as her hand made contact with my cheek.
“You’re the reason why he broke up with me, if you weren’t here then I would still have him! You’re just a fucking slut and nothing will ever change that! I have no idea what he sees in you, you’re worthless Ashton” Michelle spat at me as she shoved me backwards harshly; I looked down as her words repeated in my head.
“Get the fuck away from her Michelle! How dare you talk to her like that. You want the truth? I kissed her! I’ve wanted her all this time but I knew I couldn’t have her, so I went for you. And it was you who pushed me away not Ash, so don’t blame her” Brian snapped at Michelle as he rushed over to us; he stuck his broad in the sand and placed me behind him.
“Brian that was too harsh, she was just upset that’s all” I said softly once Michelle had stormed off with tears falling down her cheeks; I felt so bad because I tore them apart and broke her heart. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t realize this before.
“Babe she deserved it, nobody talks or treats you like that and gets away with it. She has no right slapping you or saying those things to you, because you did nothing wrong. I kissed you in that hotel room and we waited after the break up, you did nothing wrong” Brian told me as he gently cupped my face in his hands; he gently stroked my cheeks with him thumb which soothed the sting from the slap.
I nodded a little as I looked up into his eyes and saw so much love for me; he knew me better than I knew myself which wasn’t always a good thing. But he knew that I would be taking what Michelle said to heart so he knew to reassure me; I did believe him but in the back of my mind I still had a part that believe what Michelle said.
“Let’s head home, I think we’ve both had enough sun and drama for today” He said softly as he kissed the top of my head; he dried off with his towel before he grabbed his broad and wrapped his arm around my waist, we walked up the beach and headed the short distance to his house.
“I always did love the colour purple on you” I froze when I heard his voice from behind me; I slowly turned around so I was facing him as tears formed in my eyes. He was standing right in front of me with his charming smile on his smile.
“Jayden? What are you… how are you?” I stuttered as I looked at him in pure shock; how was he standing here with me? How did he look so good after the accident?
“It’s a dream sweetie, sadly I’m not back. I just came to talk to you, like I did with Sienna and Chase” Jay told me softly as his smile never faded from his face; I felt my heart break a little more as he told me himself that he was gone forever.
“Will you always be able to do this? Come talk to me in my dreams?” I asked him in hope as I prayed that he would say yes; but in my gut I knew what the answer would be. Even if he did I think I’d end up going crazy if he kept visiting my dreams.
“No this will only happen this one time. No matter how much I want to come back, I can’t sweetie” He told me which just confirmed what I already knew; but it still hurt hearing him say it because once he said it, it was real.
“I already figured that but it’s nice to see you once more, what happened was… the worst” I said quietly as I felt Jay’s hands gently hold onto mine; he felt and looked so real that it was a little freaky, he is dead after all.
“That’s what I came to talk to you about Ashie. What happened was not your fault and you shouldn’t feel guilty about what happened to me, it was just my time to go and I’ve been telling everyone that I wouldn’t live for long” He told me as we started walking around the skate park slowly; which was nice to do with him.
“Nobody took that seriously Jay, we thought you were just joking. I can’t help but feel guilty about the accident, you died while I just got injured. It’s not fair” I said tightening my hold on his hand as we walked; I wanted to remember this forever. I wanted to remember his touch, his smell, how he looked.
“You shouldn’t feel bad about this sweetheart, it happened and nothing can change that. The last thing I saw was you Ash, I had fallen asleep so I didn’t see anything happen. I didn’t feel any pain” Jay told me as he pulled me closer to him and wrapped his arm around my shoulders; that was my biggest fear that he saw the van or was in pain.
I leaned into his side more and nod a little; now that my worry was put to rest I felt better as a weight was lifted off my chest. But knowing this now didn’t stop the pain from surrounding my body; I knew the pain would take time to fade away.
“And you should think about continuing the band a bit more, don’t just throw in all our hard work because I’m not here anymore. I don’t want you to do that for me or because of me, you need to stop and think about it” He told me as he placed a kiss on my cheek as he started to fade away; the last words we spoke to each other was ‘I love you’.
I sighed softly as I woke up and stretched under the warm covers of Brian’s bed; I smiled as I remembered the dream I just had and I finally felt somewhat ready to move on from this. I looked to my right where I thought Brian was going to be laying but he wasn’t there; I giggled to myself when I heard him in the kitchen.
I was sitting on the beach watching the waves crashed onto the sand; I was relaxing in the warm sun as my muscles loosened. I was watching people pass me or go for a surf; everyone was out having fun on such a beautiful day.
Brian thought it would be a good idea if we came down to the beach for a little while; I hadn’t really been outside for over a month and honestly I missed being outside. Brian was going for a surf while I sat on the beach and waited for him; I was enjoying myself in the sun until I saw Michelle walking over to me.
“Everyone told me to watch you Ashton, but I didn’t think you would actually steal Brian from me. I trusted you and this is what you do to me, sure we weren’t really friends but you didn’t have to stab me in the back” Michelle yelled at me angrily; I knew this was going to come so I was just waiting until she found out.
“Michelle, please I can explain. It’s not as bad as it sounds, yes Brian and I did kiss while he was still with you. But it was just one time and we got caught up in the moment, I didn’t mean to hurt you” I said softly as I stood up to face her; trust me she got scary when she got this angry and she was beyond pissed.
“You kissed him? I was talking about when he broke up with me, you went straight for him. When did you fucking kiss him?” Michelle yelled as she stepped forward and got in my face; I took a deep breath as I just destroyed every chance I had of talking to her calmly.
“I’m so sorry but I thought that’s what you were talking about. It was when we were on tour, just before you left” I said quietly as people looked over at us as they walked past us; this would make an amazing headline for a magazine. Synyster Gates’ Ex Goes Crazy On Ashton Sanders!
“You fucking slut! You kissed my boyfriend when I was still on tour!” She screamed at me as she pulled back her arm; before I knew it my cheek was burning in pain as her hand made contact with my cheek.
“You’re the reason why he broke up with me, if you weren’t here then I would still have him! You’re just a fucking slut and nothing will ever change that! I have no idea what he sees in you, you’re worthless Ashton” Michelle spat at me as she shoved me backwards harshly; I looked down as her words repeated in my head.
“Get the fuck away from her Michelle! How dare you talk to her like that. You want the truth? I kissed her! I’ve wanted her all this time but I knew I couldn’t have her, so I went for you. And it was you who pushed me away not Ash, so don’t blame her” Brian snapped at Michelle as he rushed over to us; he stuck his broad in the sand and placed me behind him.
“Brian that was too harsh, she was just upset that’s all” I said softly once Michelle had stormed off with tears falling down her cheeks; I felt so bad because I tore them apart and broke her heart. I couldn’t believe that I didn’t realize this before.
“Babe she deserved it, nobody talks or treats you like that and gets away with it. She has no right slapping you or saying those things to you, because you did nothing wrong. I kissed you in that hotel room and we waited after the break up, you did nothing wrong” Brian told me as he gently cupped my face in his hands; he gently stroked my cheeks with him thumb which soothed the sting from the slap.
I nodded a little as I looked up into his eyes and saw so much love for me; he knew me better than I knew myself which wasn’t always a good thing. But he knew that I would be taking what Michelle said to heart so he knew to reassure me; I did believe him but in the back of my mind I still had a part that believe what Michelle said.
“Let’s head home, I think we’ve both had enough sun and drama for today” He said softly as he kissed the top of my head; he dried off with his towel before he grabbed his broad and wrapped his arm around my waist, we walked up the beach and headed the short distance to his house.