Love Drunk

I open my eyes up slowly and rub at them, taking off the crust that formed at the corner of them. Blinking a few times, I look out my bedroom window flashbacks of what happened going through my mind. It’s like I’m in a horrible dream and I’m waiting for my mum to come wake me up from it… but she can’t, she’s dead, I watched her take her last breath so I know this is far from a dream, it’s a nightmare. A living one.

My stomach crunches at last nights memories; I throw my blankets off my body and make a run for my bathroom. Nothing comes out of my mouth as I lean over the toilet bowl. Sighing, I pick myself up off the ground and slowly walk back to my bedroom where I sit down at the end of my bed, head in hands. I barely even remember how I got back to my house, the only things I kind of remember were stating directions.

I bet people would pay to see me like this, I’ve never showed any type of weakness to anyone. God, my fucking ‘friends’ would laugh at this site, hell if this was another person and I’d see them like this I would even laugh. That’s fucking low, Hazel.

Where the hell am I gunna go now? I’m only seventeen; I can’t stay here anymore because there’s no one to look after me. I know I can take care of myself I’ve been doing it ever since my mum got sick, hell I even took care of her! But the law says I can’t live by myself…

I snap my head up remembering something and I rush my arse out of my room and into hers. Opening and slamming drawers for six minutes, I finally find what I’m looking for, what mum told me to look for when she dies. It feels as if it weighs a few pounds, but in reality it doesn’t even weigh a pound, even less.

I unfold the white piece of notebook paper and begin reading the neatly written print.

Hazel, you know I’ll always love you no matter what, trust me. I knew you went out to parties, smoked, drank, and even had sex – I never paid much attention to how many times though – because I was a teenager once as well and trust me I’ve probably done far worse then you have.

A small smile forms it’s way into my lips and I nod my head – she’s so silly.

Anyway, you probably thought I didn’t know you, but trust my sweetie I did, so I know you’ll be ticked off when you read the rest of this and I hope the end of this will cheer you up a little. You’ll be living with a friend of mines, her and her husband happily agreed to let you stay; they even have a son around your age. I know, I know it’s frustrating love, but it was either that or people I don’t know and that’ll worry me.

Just promise me you’ll treat them with the same respect and love as you did me. I’ve talked to child services and they’ve agreed with my arrangement. In a few days from now you should be staying with them, I know you’ll be uncomfortable and angry, but I know you’ll grow use to loving them and all the shit. The money from the house, my jewelry, clothes, and everything else is to be yours and only yours; I’ve already covered that so you don’t need to worry about that.

All you need to do is chill out and be happy from now on, baby. No more worries. And before I go, please keep your pants on more often I don’t want you catching any type of STD or even Aid’s, so help me god I’ll fucking kick your little ass.

I laugh as a tear fell from my eyes.

Well I think that’s it, Hazel. It’s time for me to go, just remember I’ll always love you no matter what you do or what you think is right. Promise you’ll come visit me though because if you don’t I go visit you and make you scared shitless, Mum.

So I guess this means I should start getting ready to leave for my new home. Great.