Weak, But Not Defeated

Maddie held her hand in a fist and hovered it only a few inches from the large, wood panel in front of her.

After a few seconds, Garrett whispered, “You have to actually knock against the door, Maddie.”

She bit her lip and took in a breath before she knocked lightly on the door. Garrett rolled his eyes at the knock no one inside the door would hear. He moved his hand that had been resting on the small of Maddie’s back and knocked loudly against the door.

John looked through the peep hole and a smile spread across his face as he tousled his hair and opened the door slowly, purely for dramatic effect.

“Oh hey guys,” John said, “What’s up?”

“Just recovering from last night. But uh, can we talk to you?” Garrett asked.

“Yeah, come on in.”

Maddie walked in first and sat down on John’s couch. Garrett sat next to her while John sat on the chair across from them.

“John, we have to tell you something,” Garrett began.

Before John could respond the three’s attention were drawn to the blonde exiting John’s bedroom, clad in his light blue sheets.

She giggled when she saw her audience and John let out an overly dramatic sigh that Maddie saw right through.

“Oh, is this not a good time?” Garrett asked.

“It’s fine. Courtney, go back to bed, baby,” he said, clearly emphasizing his last word to successfully make Maddie’s fists clench.

As Courtney left the room Maddie turned to Garrett, “I think I forgot my phone in your car, would you go get it for me?”

Garrett looked at her questioningly but understood and soon exited John’s apartment. Once the door had closed Maddie stood from the couch and walked to the opposite side of the room, studying the wall of pictures his mom had decorated.

“I thought you were going to break up with her,” Maddie said.

“I had a change of heart,” John said from his seat. “Are you jealous or something?”

Maddie turned on the heel of her foot and faced him, “Of course not, John.”

He shrugged, “It just seems like it, that’s all.”

Maddie took in a breath, “Garrett and I are dating, John.”

He stood up and looked into her eyes, “Congratulations, Maddie, I am so happy for you.”

Maddie gasped, seeing right through him, “Who told you?”

“You guys weren’t as great as keeping it a secret as you thought. I saw you last night.”

“Oh, so then you called Courtney? Classy, John, that’s great,” she rolled her eyes.

“Just wait until the rest of the guys find out, Maddie, I mean, what were you thinking?”

“They already know. The best part is they’re fine with it! So tell me that you’re fine too,” Maddie begged.

John’s confident façade he had built up suddenly waivered, “So I’m the last one to know?”

Maddie realized the implications he was getting at, “Don’t be mad at the guys, be mad at me.”

“That’s easily done, Maddie, don’t worry,” John told her.

“I wasn’t mad at you when you started dating Courtney,” Maddie said.

“No, you weren’t. You just professed your love for me. Do you want me to do that, too, Maddie?” John asked tauntingly.

Maddie shook her head, “I want you to be happy for me like the rest of my friends are.”

“Well, I’m all out of favors Maddie, so sorry, that’s not happening.”

“You’re acting exactly like I thought you would. This is why we kept it a secret,” Maddie said, annoyed.

“You two are going to make it so awkward when you break up. Do you realize that? You’re not only ruining your friendship with Garrett, you’re ruining your friendship with all of us. We’re all obviously going to side with Garrett whatever happens,” John told her.

“How about you don’t worry about my relationship, then? If you want to be my friend still, then fine. But if not, then that’s perfectly fine too,” Maddie said fiercely.

John met her attitude with high posture accompanied by a cocky smile, “Sounds great, baby. Oh, sorry, am I not allowed to call you that anymore?” he mocked.

Maddie rolled her eyes, “Shut up, John. You’re being ridiculous.”

“Is there anything else you needed, Madeline?” John asked.

Maddie made her way to the door hastily, “Way to be completely predictable, John. I couldn’t be more proud of you,” she said sardonically.

John stared at her, hating that he couldn’t fake his feelings after he had spent an entire night working up every quip and line to say.

Once Maddie realized he had nothing to say she opened the front door. Garrett was leaning against the post, playing a game on his cell phone. Maddie brushed past him and walked down the steps.

Garrett looked to John, “Bro…”

John took a deep breath and outstretched his hand, “I’ll see you at four at Pat’s house for the signing?”

Garrett smiled lightly and shook John’s hand, “So we’re good then?”

John shrugged, “We will be.”

*
Maddie tried to make sure a tear didn’t come to her eye as she watched the five boys in front of her celebrate their newly signed deal. Courtney sat next to her and Maddie tried to ignore her. Anything associated with John was becoming increasingly annoying.

“So, boys, in the next couple of months you’ll be headed to L.A. to record, but right now we need to schedule some tours. Do you have a crew lined up?” Brad asked.

The boys stole glances at the two girls, and Maddie didn’t understand why. She would definitely be their merch manager, wouldn’t she? Courtney didn’t even like The Maine.

“Yeah, we’ll figure it out,” Jared said.

“Great. I’ll be in touch then, guys. Congratulations,” Brad said before he exited.

Garrett sat next to Maddie, stealing a quick kiss before anyone saw. He was holding himself back from his display of affection in front of the guys, because he knew it would freak them out, and Maddie wouldn’t be too fond of it either.

“This is the best day of my life,” Pat said.

“Me too!” Garrett and Jared simultaneously agreed.

Kennedy smiled, “I’m going to have to say Emma’s birth was the best day of my life, but this is a close second.”

Maddie looked at John, as he stood on the other side of the room. He ran a hand through his hair and sighed, knowing that everyone knew he was not having as great a day.

Pat interjected, taking the attention off of his friend, “So, I think we should all hang out here tonight? We can have a Battleship tournament! I have like four boards.”

Everyone in the room groaned and Pat pouted, “No one ever wants to play with me!”

“I’ll play with you, bud,” Maddie said.

“How about we make it a drinking game? Every time you miss the other person’s ship you take a shot,” Courtney suggested.

Kennedy looked at Maddie, “You okay with that, Madds?”

She shrugged, “I’m amazing at Battleship, so it doesn’t even matter.”

Ten games later Garrett, Pat, Jared and Courtney were completely wasted. Maddie had only taken a few reduced sized shots. Kennedy had to leave to take care of Emma, and John had opted to sit out and just watch.

Around midnight Maddie began to get tired. She looked at Garrett, who was currently passed out on Pat’s couch.

John announced to the group he and Courtney were leaving, and Maddie realized she no longer had a ride home because of Garrett’s current state.

She begrudgingly sat up and caught John at the door, “Can you drive me home?” she asked.

John looked at Courtney as she tiredly rested all of her weight on him, hoping for a protest, but nothing came, “Fine.”

Maddie sat in the back seat of the silent car on the short ride to Courtney’s house. While John walked her inside Maddie moved to the front seat.

John climbed back in the car and began driving. Maddie focused on the soft tones of Ryan Adams coming through the speakers rather than the overwhelming tension.

After a few minutes Maddie looked at her surroundings, “John, my house is the other way.”

“I need to stop in Phoenix to get this recording software, and your house is in the opposite direction. It will just take a while,” he said.

“You need to drive ten miles out of town at midnight?”

“I can drop you off here if you’d like,” he said casually.

She looked out the window at the desert around her. She could see the lights of Phoenix in front of her, and Tempe behind her. She realized John had taken the long way and she rolled her eyes.

Another two minutes later, smoke began to rise from John’s hood, “Oh great,” he mumbled.

Once John turned off the car on the side of the road the two jumped out of the car and he opened the hood, guarding his face from the smoke.

Maddie bent down and looked under the hood too, “Your radiator fluid is leaking.”

“Yes, I know, Maddie,” John said, obviously annoyed.

Maddie leaned against the car as John examined the contents under the hood. After about five minutes Maddie walked to him, “Are you going to call someone or just stare at the engine?”

“All of our friends are drunk, Madeline.”

“Oh, right. I was thinking there was this nice little business called Triple A that your family is a member of, but I must be wrong,” Maddie said.

John grunted in response and reached in his back pocket, pulling out his wallet and searching for his insurance card.

While John spoke on the phone Maddie climbed in the back seat and lay down. When he was done John sat in the front seat, staring straight ahead.

Five minutes of silence and almost unbearable tension went by before John spoke, “How did this happen?”

“Well your radiator cap came loose and started leaking fluid, so when it reacted with the heat of the engine it smoked up,” Maddie said simply, all of her knowledge of cars had come from her father.

“Not that,” he said quietly, “I mean us. How did we get here?”

“I mean you’re lying in the back seat of my car while I sit up here, so angry. I don’t understand,” John said, sadness in his voice and written all over his features Maddie could see in the rear view mirror.

“It’s not my fault, John, I know that much,” Maddie replied.

“That’s the worst part, Maddie,” John said, looking at her. “You honestly don’t even know when you’re wrong.”

Maddie sat up and met his eyes, “How is it at all my fault that you can’t accept my relationship choices?” her voice raised an octave.

“Because you don’t like him!” John yelled back.

Maddie took in a breath and thrust the door open hastily. She slammed the door and took in the cold February air, letting it calm her heated senses.

John stepped outside and waited for Maddie to pace back towards him, “Look me in my eyes and tell me you don’t love me anymore.”

“Oh God, John, let’s not go here again,” Maddie said, running a hand through her hair.

“See, you can’t even say it,” John shook his head.

Maddie looked in John’s eyes. Goose-bumps were on her arms and not because she was cold. She knew her voice would shake as she spoke her next sentence, not even sure if she could get it out.

“John,” she said, causing his heart to beat faster, “Triple A is here.” She said quietly, copping out as she saw the flashing lights of the tow truck come down the road.