Be With Me

“Baby, can I ask you a question,” Vanessa’s voice echoed through the apartment. I didn’t bother answering her. I could hear the sound of her heels clicking on the wood floor. I knew that she would be standing in front of me in a few minutes.

“How do these shoes l—oh my gosh, why are you still on the couch babe. You’ve been there since we got home,”

I knew that she was right. Though we had only been home for half an hour, I hadn’t moved. I had been in a daze since I had gotten back from Maya’s apartment. I couldn’t explain why, I simply was. The scene that took place kept replaying itself in my head. No matter what I did, I kept thinking about it. It was all that was on my mind. I thought about things that could have gotten me out of the situations, I thought about things that would have made the situation better; all I did was think about the situation.

I shrugged my shoulders in response. I couldn’t tell Vanessa what had happened earlier. She wasn’t understanding when it came to me and other women. I could only imagine how she would react to hearing that I had seen Natalie today.

She knew exactly who Natalie was to me. She knew everything about my relationship with her. A part of me knew that she wouldn’t be calm when she heard that I had gone to her apartment today.

She licked her lips before she sat down beside me on the couch. She put one of her hands on my chest, as she rested her head on my shoulder. “What’s wrong baby,”

I sighed as I grabbed her hand. I intwined our fingers together with hopes that she would be distracted. She was only distracted for a few seconds before she questioned me once more. I flipped my hair before closing my eyes, throwing my head back.

“I just have a lot of things on my mind that’s all,” I spoke. I sent her a reassuring smile as I traced a circle on her hand with my thumb. “Don’t worry about me babe,”

“Well of course I’m going to worry about you baby. I can’t help it, I love you. I just want to help you,”

“I know,” I nodded.

“So, do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really…”

“Okay,” she shrugged.

Silence soon fell over us. Her head was still on my shoulder, and our fingers were still intwined together. I mindlessly unlaced, and laced our fingers together. I didn’t know how long we sat in the silence together, but it wasn’t long before I started thinking about what had happened once more.

I saw the image of Natalie standing at the bottom of the stairs, staring blankly at me with her brown orbs. The image of how blankly she stared at me was burned into my brain. I hadn’t seen those eyes in three years, when I finally do, they were lifeless. She was showing no emotions, purposely. She wanted to keep me locked out her life.

Then again, she had every reason too. We were exes. We weren’t involved with each other anymore. We weren’t supposed to be as intimate with each other as we once were, but this was hardly intimate. Wanting to know how someone felt about seeing you wasn’t intimate. This was something natural that everyone experienced when seeing someone from their past.

“You’re thinking about it again aren’t you,” Vanessa’s voice brought me out of my thoughts. “Whatever it is,”

I didn’t answer instead I closed my eyes. I instantly regretted it. The image only became clearer now that my eyes were closed. She was stuck on my mind.

I heard Vanessa groan from beside me as she lifted her head from my shoulder. I opened my eyes as I looked over at her. She pulled her hand from my grasp, using it to adjust her ponytail. She then pulled her crop top down slightly before she licked her lips.

“Well let me ease your troubles babe. Even though you won’t tell me what’s wrong, I’m going to help,”

I furrowed my brows as I stared at her. She sent me one her seductive smiles as she bit her lip. She was planning something, this was obvious. However, I didn’t know what she planning until her hands found their way to my jeans. She quickly undid my belt, before I could process what was going on. When I finally realized what she was doing, she had pulled both my jeans and my boxers down in one swift motion. I opened my mouth to speak, but she slipped my inside of her mouth before I could.

“Oh fuck,” I cursed. I threw my head back as a moan escaped my lips.

This wasn’t the first time that she had given me a blow job, so I knew that she knew what she was doing. My eyes closed as I hit the back of her throat. This time, I didn’t think about Natalie. I was hardly thinking at all. The only thing that my brain could process was how good this felt.

She did exactly what she said she would, eased my troubles. I was no longer thinking about Natalie and I no longer cared. She had distracted me perfectly.