Sexy? Why yes I am.

The whole time we were driving back to my place, I was thinking about how I was going to seriously need a second job, maybe even a third. I’ve been utterly fucked over once again by Nadia, and there was nothing I could about it.

When we arrived at my house and walked right up to the door, it swung open and I had a hand slap me across the face. They were waiting, and checking the through the door hole, the slap is proof of that.

“I can’t believe you didn’t wear a condom Nate!” My Mother was already shouting at me before I could even get in the damn house.

I pushed my way in with Vonia holding my hand as we made it in and sat on the couch. Nadia was sitting there on the other side of us with a big grin on her face. My Mom came over and sat next to my Dad.

“You’re an idiot. I swear to god, I bought you damn condoms! You could at least use them if you’re going to have sex!” she shouted and slammed her hand on the table.

She was really angry, and my Dad sat there shaking his head and sending death glares at me as my Mom continued to scream and yell at me, telling me how fucked up I am, how I should’ve wore a condom, and crap. To be honest I just zoned out until she started bursting out into tears.

Should I try and tell my parents that she forced me into this? I highly doubt they’ll believe me, but it’s worth a shot I guess.

“I didn’t want to have sex with Nadia; she handcuffed both my wrists, and my ankles to the bed. There was nothing I could do about it. I tried getting out, and I couldn’t. Nadia didn’t put a damn condom on me, and I know she did that on fucking purpose.” I said.

“Oh you’ve got to be kidding with me son! You really think we’re going to believe she did such a thing like that?” said my Dad.

So much for being honest. I at least tried. It seems like whenever I actually try to be honest, no one believes me, but when I’m lying, everyone believes it.

“He’s not lying!” said Vonia and she grabbed my wrist and showed my parents, and then she grabbed my leg and rolled up my pants a little to show them the handcuff mark around my ankles, which I think are going to end up scarring.

“That doesn’t prove shit Vonia. Nate could’ve gotten that from other crap he’s done. Why don’t you be a smart woman and realize your man cheated on you with me, and is now going to be a father to my child. Hm? You can either accept that or move the fuck on and stay away from him.” said Nadia.

“He’s not going to be the Father to just your child, he’s going to be the Father to mine as well; that’s right, I’m pregnant too.” said Vonia as she looked at Nadia dead in the eye, as if saying, “Sorry bitch, but there’s no way in fucking hell, you’re going to win this round; nice try.”

I slapped my hand on my forehead; did she seriously need to say that? Vonia was obviously more concerned about what Nadia was saying and thinking to even notice how my parent’s eyes just went wider than I’ve ever seen their eyes go.

“You not only got one fucking girl pregnant…”

“BUT TWO?!” said my Dad finishing my Mom’s sentence.

Not only did my Mom get up, but my Dad as well. Both of them began yelling at me, and pointing at me and telling me that I’ve got a lot to learn and it’s not going to be the easy way like it could have been.

My life has officially become the definition of drama, or so it feels like it has become just that.

I shook my head and stood up, “Why the FUCK can’t you guys just fucking listen to what I have to say instead of yelling at me non-stop?! You don’t think I regret this?!” I yelled back. Next thing I knew my Dad had slammed me against the wall with his hand around my throat, and telling me not to ‘yell’ at my Mother.

I put my hand on his wrist and tightened my grip on it, and glared straight into his eyes and then said, “Let go.” He glared right back into mine but then let go. He’s no longer the strong man is this household, it’s me now.

“I don’t care what excuse you have, you fucked up big time, and you’re definitely going to pay for it.” said my Dad.

“And what is that supposed to mean Dad?” I asked.

“For starters, to pay child support, you need to get a second job.” He said.

“Well I figured that one out.” I said and rolled my eyes.

“I’m thinking we’re going to put off you going to college.” He said.

“You can’t tell me I can’t go to college just because I’m about to have kids; that’s fucked up Dad.” I said.

“What’s fucked up is you getting two girls pregnant Nate; you’re too damn young for this.” He said.

“You can’t tell me I can’t go to college, I’m eighteen.” I said.

“You’re damn right we can’t, but what we can do is not give you your college money.” He said.

“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me. I need that money so that I can AFFORD College. Don’t take that from me, that is not fair of you to do. I’ve been pretty damn good up until this point; don’t suddenly fuck me over because of this.” I said.

“Vonia I called you’re parents and told them.” said my Mother as she walked out of the kitchen and sat back down. Vonia’s eyes grew huge and her body began to shake. That’s right, we still had her parents to deal with; great.

“Deal with it Nate.” Was all my Dad said when I looked back at him and he walked away to his room.

“We’ll keep in contact, Vonia, Nadia.” said my Mom before she walked off into the room my Dad had just gone into.

The one thing I was looking forward to, believe it or not, was college. I could’ve at least had one good thing happen to me, instead I get it taken away and I get two babies I didn’t even want.

“Are you happy Nadia?” I asked. I didn’t even bother to look at her.

“I’m not completely happy, but I’m happy enough that I know you won’t be able to avoid me anymore.” said Nadia.

“You’re such a selfish bitch.” I said shaking my head.

“Just like you Nate, just like you.” She said and then got up and glared at Vonia before walking out.

“Nate…” Vonia said my name in a soft tone.

“I hate how fat woman get when there pregnant.” I said.

She didn’t say anything.

“I’m not a Daddy type.” I said.

I bit my lip hard like I was keeping myself from saying more things Vonia wouldn’t want to hear out of me.

“You’ve been a big brother though, and you’ve done a good job. The next step is just being there Dad.” said Vonia and then she got up and put her hand on my back.

“I think you think too low of yourself.” said Vonia.

“I know I’ll be far better at being a Dad then a husband or supporter.” I said.

“Nate, you’ll be a wonderful husband. You’re already an amazing boyfriend.” said Vonia.

“I’m amazing because children aren’t involved in our relationship. You and Ava are the only ones who I’ve actually been with for more than just a month, it’s pathetic.” I said sighing.

“Nate we can do this; and Nate…” said Vonia looking at me like she wanted to ask something.

“What?” I asked.

“I’d really like it if we got married before I have our child. I’d just really like this to be traditional, you know?” said Vonia.

I could tell by the look in her eyes she’s already thought about us getting married someday and having kids. I made a huge mistake with Vonia; I never asked her on what she wanted for her future. It’s not that I didn’t care; I just thought that if I wasn’t interested in having kids or getting married, she would be fine with it. Vonia doesn’t look like she’d care, but in reality she does. I was blind to not have seen that, blinded by love.

“I know you can do it babe.” She said with a smile.

“I can’t marry you Vonia.” I said.

Her smile fell to a frown.

“Why not?” she asked.

“I’m not going to go from boyfriend to ex-husband, not happening. Boyfriend is as far as I go Vonia.” I said and looked right into Vonia’s now watery eyes.

“You won’t be an ex-husband, because you’re in love with me, you won’t do anything, you won’t if you love someone.” said Vonia.

I grabbed Vonia’s hands and tightened my hands around them.

“I’m sorry Vonia.” I said as the tears slowly began to fall down her face.

I did feel bad, if I realized sooner it’s something she wanted. I would’ve simply slept with her and never called her again. I probably wouldn’t have fallen for her if I just did what I always do, sleep with a girl, and never call them back again.

I don’t think Vonia wanted this anytime soon though. A child or a husband, she just happened to be having a kid now, so she just wants to get it all done now, since she can’t later on in life.

I’ve come to a rude awakening, and realization, that I’ve probably poured more love into my relationship with Ava, to the point where I can’t be like that anymore. I used to be so much more sensitive to other people’s needs, now I’m not. I can’t ever be what I once was. I love Vonia, but I’m unwilling to go as far as I did when I was in love with Ava. Why? Well because this is who I’ve become, and even if I change into being more loyal to Vonia, I’m still never going to be able to give Vonia everything she wants from me.

She has to deal with that.

Vonia was unlucky enough to have met me.

I hope she doesn’t grow to resent me.