Listen To Your Heart.

I sat there on the bed that once was hers, reading the only thing I had left of her. I just didn’t understand why she’d run away, I just couldn’t. I pulled myself together just as the boys knocked at the door; I made my way down stairs and breathed out heavily. They had already let themselves in and were slumped over the couches. They had eyes full of sorrow and pain, none of which were as sad as me. I took the seat next to Pat, I toyed with my hands avoiding any of there eye contact.

We sat in silence, no one knew what to say and they were all gob smacked. Kennedy tried to speak but lost his words. I stood up and all eyes were on me, “Is she really gone?” I looked at Pat and nodded, he sighed and looked down. “Isn’t there something we can do, like kidnap her or something?” Pat was devastated to say the least, but they all were; we all were.

“Pat, if it’s what she wants then we have to let her go” Garrett’s voice was soft, I bit my tongue because I knew this wasn’t what she wanted; being the dick I am though I pushed and pushed and pushed until she left. I knew that at heart she was a small town girl, New York city was so out of her comfort zone. The thought hadn't left my mind since I came home to find her gone; this is my fault. This is all my fucking fault!

“Well, I don’t know about you but I know I could go for a drink” Jared stood up and soon the boys followed chuckling. Eric turned back and looked at me when he was half way out the door, “C’mon man, just one or two” I grunted and grabbed my coat, nothing would take my mind off of her.

--

“Grace, you look absolutely stunning” my words came out slurred because I was far beyond drunk. Grace giggled and nudged my shoulder, her laugh was all I could hear. “Oh Johnny” we both started laughing. “You are amazing Grace, and beautiful and any guy would be lucky to have you” Grace smiled, she was so drunk; nearly as drunk as myself. “Johnny, stop you’re with Belle. This is wrong” she wobbled and grabbed my hand to steady herself. She giggled and took another sip of her drink, “Nope we are officially over” Grace had a cheeky grin on her face, she leaned over and pulled my head towards hers.

The next thing I knew we were climbing into the back of a cab sucking face. We barely made it to her house before all our clothes had been taken off. The last thing on my mind was Belle, but was that a bad thing? Grace pushed me onto her bed taking off the last of her clothes. My eyes lit up as she stood in front of me completely naked. I moaned and held my crutch, it bulged through my pants. Grace giggled and attached her lips to my neck, sucking slowly along my jaw. My pants were off and my hands rested on her ass, she moaned as I grabbed her legs. I listened to her moan my name over and over again.

My memory was fuzzy from there on but I remember Grace's tongue rolling around in my mouth and the feeling in the pit of my stomach when I realised I was about to throw up.

It wasn’t my finest hour but it most definitely wasn’t hers either.