Listen To Your Heart.

The Arizona humidity was unmanageable; I smiled at the feeling of the sun on my skin once again. I knew he wouldn’t be here, I knew I wouldn’t be able to leave again if he was here. I needed my things though, and Jenny had insisted I come and say goodbye for good. I felt as though I was intruding, Jenny’s sister-in-law had just passed away. She had asked me not to say anything in front of Shane because he was still grieving, I understood and insisted on coming down and helping her around the house. The familiar houses flew past my window and it felt like only yesterday I was here.

It had been three weeks; it may not seem like forever but to me it was. I had only just started my new life in New York and I already missed my old one. I pulled up my once loving house, the one that was my home. I tipped the cab driver and stood on the sidewalk out the front. I couldn’t move so I didn’t, I waited and just admired the house. Shane came running out; I smiled and wrapped my arms around him tight. “I missed you” he whispered as though it was a secret. “Don’t tell anyone, but I missed you too” I replied making him chuckle.

As soon as I set my eyes upon Jenny tears trickled down my face. She gasped and pulled me into a hug, “Now I’m never going to let you leave” she wailed. “How bout we take this inside, it is hot out here Jenny and I'm sure Belle is tired” Mr. O’Callaghan even hugged me, he was never very affectionate towards me but today was different. Before I walked inside I whispered to Jenny, “Is he here?” she sighed, “No love, he is on tour” I closed my eyes and walked inside. “Jenny, I might go upstairs and pack some stuff before dinner” she nodded and I walked up the familiar stair case once again.

The only different thing about my room was the missing clothes and photos; everything else was still exactly the same. I got half way through packing my draws when I found John’s shirt, I unfolded it and just stared. It was the same one I wore the day he took me to the field, the same one I wore while he carved our names into a tree and told me he loved me. The sad thing was, I smelt it. I clung to anything that smelt like John, this of course did.

I sighed and folded it back up; I walked towards John’s room. My hand hovered above the door handle; I bit my lip and opened the door. Nothing had changed, his guitar still sat in the corner of his room and sheets of paper covered his floor. I smiled and placed the shirt on his bed, curiosity led me to his desk. I found just a lot of rubbish really but amongst everything were photos of John and myself. I smiled, “Bee, dinner is ready” Jenny called from downstairs. I quickly left John’s room and made my way down for dinner.

I sat across from Shane, I giggled as I watched him demolish his dinner. “Slow down Shane, you won’t have any room for dessert” I said. “What’s for dessert Belle?” he questioned curiously. “Well, I was thinking about taking you for ice-cream. But if you’re to full then I can’t” Shane instantly slowed down and actually chewed his food. “I’m slowing down” he said with a smile. Jenny grabbed my hand and mouthed ‘Thank-you’. I was going to do whatever I had to do to make sure Shane kept his mind off the funeral tomorrow, he was already going through so much.

I dialled Mr. Santino’s number into my phone and waited for him to answer, “Belle?” his voice came rushing through the receiver. I giggled, “Hello Mr Santino, I was wondering if you would like to come for ice-cream with Shane and myself” his end went quiet, I waited patiently. “You’re in Arizona?” he asked. I smiled “No, I’m taking Shane for ice-cream in New York” I laughed. “Of course I’m in Arizona” I listened to him grab his keys and slam his house door. “I’m on my way now, see you in like 10 minutes” I giggled. “Sounds gofod” I shut my phone and looked at Shane.

“Nick is coming to pick us up and we are going to get ice-cream” Shane smiled and hugged me. “Thanks Belle” he whispered. “How about we wait outside, it’s a lovely evening” I said, Shane just nodded. I sat on the veranda with Shane waiting for Nick. “Belle” Shane whispered, I looked at him and smiled. It faded when I could see the pain in his eyes. “What’s wrong bud?” I whispered back. “Don’t you ever miss us? I miss you and I know John does” I sighed and looked down. “I miss you guys so much” I replied. “Then come home” he said. “It isn’t that easy, I wish I could come home but now I have a job and a future in New York; I can’t just leave that” his voice was shaky, “But you left us and we all miss you” I cringed. Such strong and powerful words coming from an 11 year old boy, I sighed relieved when Nick pulled up.