Listen To Your Heart.

I closed my eyes and let the buzzing of the elevator blur my thoughts, I was home and I felt more lost than ever. I still had the letters in my bag, all 20 of them. I’d spent most of my flight in tears, he was hurting so much. His words cut me deep, his hurtful words. ‘I don't need you’, ‘You’re selfish’, ‘You gave up’. Then he talked about how much he was hurting. I had done this; I had caused him this pain. Yet, he traded me in for Grace.

I couldn’t go back, I couldn’t just expect him to run back to me. Without John what else did I have there? Friends, that was about it. Friends were all over the world, but then again none would be like the boys. I grumbled and hauled my suitcase into my apartment. I settled myself onto my couch and let myself fall in between the state of dreaming and darkness.

I woke in a daze, confused to where I was. My eyes fluttered open but soon I was blinded by the light flooding through my windows; I moaned and closed them. I found my way to the shower and pulled my clothes off slowly. The water was cool and did its job to wake me up; I stood in the water and let my aching body rest, sleeping on the couch didn't do me any favours. Music came from outside and my eyes darted to the window; I turned the shower off and listened carefully. Carnival music was blaring in the street, a circus perhaps? I wrapped myself in my bathrobe and peaked out the window.

Floats of all kinds were filling the street and people gathered around to catch sight of these incredibly humongous things. I sighed and sat on my couch in my empty apartment, today was one of my rare days off. I listened to the music and let my mind drift, I needed to get out. I needed a distraction, I was sick and tired of being upset.

The streets were squishy but I tried to stay as far away from the road as possible, I didn't particularly find this kind of things ‘fun’. I should have been watching where I was going but of course I wasn’t, I walked straight into a man with a boy on his shoulders laughing.

I stumbled back and looked the man in the eyes, he was actually just a very young man. Not much older than myself I believe. “I’m sorry, I wasn’t watching where I was going and-” he was smiling at me, like actually smiling at me. “And?” he said, the boy on his shoulders kept his eyes on the parade. “And next time I’ll watch where I’m going” I think that was the point where I was suppose to keep walking but I didn't. He noticed and chuckled, “I’m Danny” he extended his hand and after a moment I realised he wanted me to shake it.

I shook his hand and spoke softly “Belle”. I looked to the figure above his shoulders, “That’s Nate, my little brother” I smiled at him. “That’s nice of you to bring your brother to the parade” he blushed and shrugged. “I guess I should go” I smiled and with that I walked past him. He shouted into the crowd “It was lovely meeting you” I continued to smile and kept walking.

--

I settled myself into the corner booth at one of the restaurants near my apartment. My eyes watched the room, couples everywhere eating together. It made me feel embarrassed that I was eating alone. More than that, I hadn’t been able to get Danny out of my head all day.

He had the bluest eyes I’d seen in a long time, maybe even ever. I tried to push him out of my mind but he always managed to find his way back in. I was startled when he sat down next to me in the booth. “Wow, are you following me now?” I questioned looking around suspiciously. He chuckled and grabbed the menu out of my hands, “I was walking past and saw you all alone” I shrugged. “I could have been waiting for someone” he smiled at me then started reading the menu again. “I figured you would have kicked me out by now if you were”

I grabbed the menu back, “Well, I like eating alone thank you very much” I sent him a kind smile and started picking through the specials. “No one likes eating alone” he whispered. I hid my smile with the menu but he still saw it. “You have a beautiful smile, don't hide it” I blushed. “I’m not so hungry anymore” I stood up and expected him to stay.

When I turned to look at him he was standing right behind me. “What are you doing?” I questioned. “I can’t let you walk home alone, it’s a dangerous place out there” I rolled my eyes and laughed. “I’m sure I can manage” he opened the door “I insist”

We talk all the way to my apartment, he didn't ask to come inside he just really did want to walk me home. He was a gentleman. I could use a gentleman in my life, but maybe just not right now. Maybe not until I stopped loving John, maybe not ever then.