Listen To Your Heart.

“John” I sighed. “Get your lazy ass off the couch and go clean out the garage like you promised!” I rolled my eyes and laughed at the idea of actually doing something. It had been 9 days since I got back from tour and Grace had been nagging me every day. I grasped the whisky bottle in my hands tighter and raised it to my mouth, the liquor ran easily down my throat leaving me feeling refreshed.

I couldn’t remember that last time I had been sober, I couldn’t remember the last time I had had a shower. “I’m not doing shit Grace” I yelled back at her. Who was she to tell me what to do? Besides, it was like 9 o'clock at night. “Then get out of my house John” I chuckled, I had been kicked out of Grace's home more times than I could count; it was getting to the point where I didn't even take her seriously anymore.

Grace was one of those girls that no matter how bad I treated her, she’d always come running back. “Get out!” she screamed once more. I stood up and wobbled over to her, I leaned down so my face was above hers. “Make me” I whispered. She pushed me away and walked back into the kitchen where she had earlier been washing dishes.

“You are the one that is supposed to be earning my trust back” I smiled and took another sip. “You fucking cheated on me 9 times John, 9 effing times!” she threw the plate that was in her hands across the room. I watched it smash against the wall and listened to her heavy breathing. “Why do you treat me like this John? Am I not good enough for you?” I rolled my eyes.

“I know I’m not Belle-” I looked at her and she stopped mid sentence. “You know I was drunk and they were just trash!” she nodded and glared at me, she knew I hated it when she did that. “And for the record, you’ll never be anything close to what Belle was” her face softened and she turned around.

I sipped my whisky as I walked out of her house, she deserved the truth and the truth was she was nothing compared to Belle.

I was in no state to be driving but no one was stopping me. I swerved in and out of traffic a couple of times but nothing serious. I remember pulling into the drive way then falling asleep.

--

I shook my keys in the door struggling to open it. My dinner was sitting on the table wrapped in foil with a note, ‘Microwave for 2 minutes John’. I groaned and chucked it in the bin, I wasn’t hungry. I climbed the stairs one at a time, my head was pounding. Everyone was asleep so I walked slowly into my room. As soon as my head hit the pillow I could feel the whisky coming back up.

I ran to the bathroom in record time and spent the next half an hour on the floor. When I finally climbed back into bed it was 12:57pm. My phone was vibrating on my side table; I checked the voice mail messages from Grace.

#1.
John baby, I’m so sorry. Please come back over, I miss you. I know I’m nothing like Belle but I promise I love you, I really do! Call me.

#2.
John, I know I shouldn’t have mentioned Belle, I know it annoys you or whatever. I’m worried because I haven’t heard back from you. Call me please

#3.
John fucking Cornelius, where the hell is your car?! If you seriously drove home I am going to kick your ass you douche`!

I laughed at the last message and feel asleep, my head was in so much pain that I could literally feel it pulsing.

--

It was only flashes but I saw it, over and over again.

It was Belle and Alex, they were holding hands. I was walking towards them but no matter how fast I ran I couldn’t catch her, she was following him. I shouted for her to come back but she couldn’t hear me, she held his hand even tighter.

I woke up struggling for breathe, my chest heaved in and out heavily. I looked at my clock, 2:50am in bold red letters. I groaned and pushed my face into my pillow, trying to forget the nightmare I had just had.

What was happening to me?