Listen To Your Heart.

The city lights made night look like day, people rushed along the sidewalks keeping away from strangers. Everything here felt so different, I still couldn’t bring myself to believe I’d spent the last 3 years of my life here. I pulled the collar of my coat closer to my neck, shielding myself from the curious eyes of everyone. New York City was so diverse to Arizona; I got constant stares from people walking the streets. It was an unusual scar I had but the looks people gave me made me feel vulnerable.

I walked past a group of teenage girls giggling, I smiled at them then moved my eyes back to the street in front of me. I stopped and stared at the flickering sign ahead, my mouth gapped. ‘All Time Low’ read across the bright light board.

I stopped in my tracks, should I? My phone vibrated and I looked at the caller I.D, Danny. “Hello Mr” I said into the speaker, I imagined him smiling. “Well hello there beautiful, I just wanted to know if you’ll be home soon?” my eyes fluttered back to the neon sign, I hesitated. “I actually have some stuff I have to do first, but don’t wait up hun” he sighed, “Okay love, see you when you get home” his end went quiet then he hung up.

I bit my lip. I wasn’t here to see the boys play; I was here to see the boys. I looked around and then walked around to the side of the venue; sure enough there was a backdoor. To my total surprise there was no one standing outside it, there was no one around. There was talking coming from behind the door though. I hesitated, this was a bad idea but hell, everything these days was a bad idea.

Drinking was a bad idea, missing a few meals was a bad idea even partying was a bad idea. I was sick of people telling me what I should do, I was sick of having to act what other people thought was ‘normal’. I pushed open the doors and walked on in, straight away I heard Jack. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, being the total douche he is.

I smiled and walked towards the noise. The door was only cracked open a tiny bit, I peered inside to see all the boys laughing at Jack. I clutched my chest and pushed my back against the wall, what was I doing here? This was pure curiosity, this was pure stupidity.

I heard him before I saw him “Bee?” he was shocked. I turned around to face Mr. Alexander Gaskarth. As soon as I layed my eyes upon him I gasped, he was still fucking beautiful. He just stood there and stared at me, then the corners of his mouth tilted up into a smile and he pulled me into his arms. At first I didn't know what to do, then I took in his smell and I wrapped me arms around him. I pushed my face into the crook of his neck and he just stayed like this until Jack came running out of the room.

“OH MY JESUS CHRIST, BELLE!” I was literally pulled out of Alex’s arms and into Jacks, he was still the same over energised child. “Jack Jack, I missed you!” I found myself laughing, I really did miss Jack. Alex was still shocked, he hadn’t said anything yet and Jack was bombarding me with questions. “How’d you get backstage?!” Jack yelled in excitement, “Slipped through the back door” I winked at him. He shouted as someone “Go guard the fucking door, don't want anymore random’s wondering in here” Jack pulled me into the room and I was greeted by a very happy Rian Dawson and Zack Merrick. I talked to these boys like it was only yesterday I had seen them; that was what I adored about them.

Alex awkwardly sat in the corner of the room toying with his hands, every now and then I’d catch him staring at me but he never spoke.

Then one of their crew came in and told us that they had 5 minutes, they started jumping around and left. Each kissing me on the forehead before leaving, then it was just me and Alex. We stared at each for a while then he got up and walked over. He kissed my cheek softly and grabbed my hand, he laced our fingers together and we walked towards the stage. I put his guitar on him and he smiled before quickly pecking me on the lips.

I blushed and watched as the boys walked on stage and as the crowd went wild. They started playing but before Alex started singing he turned to me and smiled, “This is for a girl I use to know, she had my heart close to hers. I hope I never lose her again, this song is called ‘Lost in Stereo’”. The crowd screamed and Jack pointed at me and grinned.

I squeezed my eyes close and only let a single tear run down my face, in that instant I knew that more than anything in this world, I missed my old life, I missed John.