Listen To Your Heart.

“Way to keep us worried, Grace only called me a hundred times-” he stopped and looked at me. “Are you okay John?” he muttered, I felt like laughing. “You’re all, smiley” he looked at me confused. My smile grew; I stood up and pulled Kennedy into my arms. “Man, I missed you too but the hug is uncalled for” I let go of him and kept smiling. “I haven’t felt like this in, well 3 years” I shouted. I looked at him in full seriousness and asked, “I could go for a run right now, you in?” he choked on his answer.

He took a seat on the park bench and I sat next to him, “Okay Mr. Energizer bunny. Are you high?” he asked looking around. “She lives just over the other side of the park.” I gestured towards the apartment block. Kennedy looked at me confused, “Who John?” he muttered. “The girl I’m going to marry” I replied with. My eyes wondered the park, it was such a lovely place but anywhere I could have been this morning would have been lovely, she was back in my life. “You found her?” he questioned. I nodded repeatedly, I was so delighted.

“If I had to describe how I felt right now I’d probably say, peachy” I smiled at him. Kennedy chuckled, “Well you can bring your peachy ass back to your hotel room before Grace finds you and rips you a new ass hole” he smiled. I sighed and I all of a sudden didn't feel so blissful anymore. He stood up and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Come on big boy, time to face your very angry girlfriend” he half smiled. I stood up and walked towards the street with Kenny, “Oh and for the record man, I am not high!” he started to chuckle.

--

When I walked in Garrett, Pat and Jared were sitting on the couch. Grace saw me and let’s just say that I’ve never been glared at like that before, I turned to Kenny and heard him giggle. “Jerk” I muttered. Grace walked up to me in front of everyone and slapped me, the boys eyes widened. I couldn’t say it was the first time she had hit me, it wasn’t the first time I deserved it either. “Where the fuck where you John Cornelius?” she barely ever used my middle name, I knew I was in trouble. It was funny though, it was like getting told off by my mother.

“What, I’m not aloud out now? I didn't realise I had a curfew” I rolled my eyes and walked to the fridge were I conveniently found a beer. “No need for the sarcasm John, you could have picked up your phone and called” she stopped and stared at me. “Where did you get a new shirt from?” she questioned. I looked down at the plaid I was wearing, I smiled; it smelt like Belle. I doubt Grace would be happy that I smelt of Belle, I’m sure she’d find a way of accusing me of wrong doing. I stopped thinking completely and looked at Grace, her eyes were blood shot obviously from lack of sleep and her face was puffy from crying.

Without even know, I was breaking her heart; I was standing her breaking her heart. I don't know what it was but I took one look at her and saw myself, I saw the binge drinking and the late night sex. She was breaking like I did when I was left; the sad part was now it was me doing the leaving. I sighed, I had the right to be angry but that didn't give me the right to be cruel. I put the beer down and walked over to Grace; I moved the hair out of her eyes and pulled her into my arms. I wasn’t going to break her heart like this; I didn't want to be an ass anymore.

I pulled away and looked at her; I saw how much strain this relationship was putting on her. She never gave up though, she never walked away. “I’m sorry Grace, for everything” I stated. At first she didn't know what I was talking about, I took her hands and led her to the bedroom where I sat her down on the bed next to me. I think I may have had an epiphany but I suddenly realized all the wrong-doing and pain I was causing Grace.

“I’m not going to lie Grace because I have lied to you a lot, and I’m sorry for that. I’m done lying though, so this is the truth” I paused. “I was with Belle last night.” Grace started to sob. “What happened John” she paused “did you sleep with her?” she choked out. I shook my head, “I’ve done a lot of things I’m not proud of Grace, but I couldn’t do that to you again” I whispered. “I know what’s going to happen now so I’m going to leave before I humiliate myself anymore” she stood up and walked over to her suite case, she grabbed her clothes and walked back over to me. “I know you never really loved me but I sure as hell loved you John” she sobbed. “I want you to be happy and I know she makes you so so happy” she leaned in and kissed my forehead.

“It wasn’t a bombshell, I did see it coming. Tell her I say hello John” Grace walked out the room with her dignity in tacked, I may have broken her but she wasn’t going to show it. I think I finally woke up and realized I’ve been a douche bag for the last couple of years. I don’t want to be that person anymore, I really didn’t.