Listen To Your Heart.

“Who’s the guy Allie?” I asked as the plane took off out of Portland airport. She sniffed and blew her nose. “David” she muttered. I sighed and looked at her. “Have you told him?” she nodded. “What did he say?” she started to sob. “He broke up with me and told me to get rid of it, after everything we went through he left me like that” I rubbed her knee. “I’m going to take care of this and Allie, you can do so much better than some douche who leaves you when the going gets rough” she nodded and rested her head on my shoulder.

--

I closed my eyes and listened to the buzzing of the elevator, the flight had taken all energy out of me. Like I needed anything else to worry about but I couldn’t sleep on the plane because the nightmares were back. Soon enough the anxiety would come back and that was something I was trying to delay as long as possible. Allie pulled her bag over her shoulder and followed me to my apartment, I opened the door knowing Danny would be here.

“Danny, we are home” I shouted chucking my bag onto the kitchen table and sat down lowering my head into the palms of my hands. “Who’s Danny?” Allie muttered, I looked at her and smiled. “A friend” I replied. There was a bump near the couch and I looked up and smiled. Danny walked out in just his jeans, his hands rustled through his hair. “Didn’t know when you were coming back Bee” Danny smiled walking over and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his neck then gasped. Behind him stood John, his lips curved into half a smile while he seductively bit his bottom lip.

“Got the first plane back” I whispered. He let me go and I walked over to John while Danny greeted Allie. “You’re here” I whispered. He shrugged “I missed you” he muttered. I smiled and blushed; he softly took hold of my hand. I let him go and threw my arms around his neck, his arms wrapped around my waist. “Yeah, I definitely missed you Bee”

I smiled and turned around; Allie was already making her move on Danny. I scoffed, and they both turned around. “Danny, Allie will need the spare room. Sorry for like basically kicking you out” he smiled and shrugged. “Well it’s late, so can I crash on the couch tonight and I’ll go home tomorrow?” I nodded. “Of course it is okay” he walked into the spare room where he started gathering his clothes. I turned around and looked at John; he was happily swaying back and forth with his hands now in his front pockets.

I giggled. “May I please talk to you?” he winked and grabbed my hand walking into my room. He casually layed down on my bed and closed his eyes leisurely. “Make yourself comfortable” I muttered. He chuckled before looking at me. “What’s wrong?” he asked. I stopped and looked at him before laughing. “You are here. In my apartment” he laughed. “On your bed” he added. He sat up and smiled. “Did I not say I would come back?” he asked, I sighed. “I just don't think now is the best time. I mean I have to take care of Allie and I’ve been off work for a while so I’ll have to work double time and-” he cut me off. “Now is a perfect time” I looked at him confused. “Enlighten me please” I sat down next to him.

He took hold of my hands, swaying them back and forth. “I can help around here, plus I can help with Allie” I sighed, I was tired and I didn't want to argue with him. “Where will you sleep John?” I asked. He chuckled and patted my bed. “No John, I’m not going to be putty in your hands. You can’t just expect everything to be the same; you can sleep on the couch” he pouted but sighed in agreement.

-

I crawled into bed; I was tired and needed to let my head rest. I pulled my sleeping peels out of the draw I had hidden them in and swallowed one. I didn't want John knowing about the anxiety because I knew it would worry him. He didn't need that burden on his shoulders. Very soon I fell asleep, it was nice being numb to my own mind. The medication was a barrier between nightmares and dreaming, I was happy to keep that barrier up.

I was barely aware of what was going on but I felt him slide in next to me and very softly slide his hand over my waist. I muttered his name; he chuckled and kissed my cheek. I smiled and laced my hand in his, I didn't want us to be moving so fast but I loved him and he loved me; in the instant that was all I knew.