Never Look Back

“Sweetheart, you’re burning up.” Sara frowned, pressing the back of her hand to Jordyn’s forehead as they sat together in the family suite at the United Center.

“I don’t feel good.” Jordyn whispered quietly, her migraine only worsening with every cheer and light in the stadium.

“Just close your eyes, okay? That alone will make things better.” Sara insisted as Gabe, her and Patrick’s son bounced around in the arms of the various family members in the seats. “Let me get you a glass of water, I know I have some Tylenol cold and sinus in my purse.” She insisted, getting up to grab a cup from the counter in the back. Jordyn sunk down low in her seat, holding her stomach as she attempted to fold up the small chair. It was an afternoon game for the Hawks and she was already exhausted after five minutes into the second period.

When Sara returned, Jordyn pulled the end of her jersey over her knees and all but chugged her glass of water, leaning her head on Sara’s shoulder as her “Auntie” wrapped her arm around her soothingly.

“How about before the third we get some ice cream, huh? That will cool you off a bit.” Sara spoke softly, brushing Jordyn’s bangs away from her face. Jordyn nodded and despite the roar of the crowd, had managed to fall into a deep sleep on Sara’s shoulder. Soon Jordyn began to grow more dizzy than anything else and Mary, Stalberg’s wife kept Jordyn from spilling down onto the floor of the concourse as they walked back to the suite from the bathroom together.

“Honey, let me take you home.” Mary insisted.

“It’s fine, there’s ten minutes left, I can stick it out.” Jordyn insisted with a weak smile. Mary sighed uneasily but nodded as she watched Jordyn wobble down the two stairs to join Sara in the seats again. Her eyes trained on her father’s number as he skated about the ice, lining up for the puck to drop. They had gotten in a fight on the way over to the arena. Jordyn had begged Jon to let her drive the way there. Jon was already cranky from having overslept, which caused them to leave the house late, and threw off his whole routine. They parted at the doors on the floor level on bad terms.

This is when Jordyn liked to wish childish things. I hope your stick breaks, I hope you fall on your own and everyone laughs at you. She knew it was silly, but it made her feel better when he would snap at her for things that weren’t her fault. Jon was also cranky lately because Amy was visiting with her brother in Redondo Beach on the other side of the country.

Tonight, Jordyn was babysitting for Patrick and Sara after the game and had been looking forward to a little peace and quiet on her own, but now that she was feeling sick, she knew Sara would cancel their plans.

“I’ll let Jon know that you’re going home with him.” She insisted, taking out her phone. Jordyn nodded with a sigh, deciding that it wasn’t worth her time to be difficult and try to convince Sara she was fine to come over. She was feeling weak and tired anyways. Maybe Dylan could come over later; it was a Sunday after all.

When the game had finished, Jordyn took her sweet time saying goodbye to Sara and Gabe as well as the other mothers who coddled her from the box, being damn near the last person out of the suite. She walked slowly down to the lobby, loving the sounds of the UC after the people had cleared out and even scored two pops on one payment from the vending machine in the basement. But something was off by the time she had reached the player’s lounge.

Had everyone… left? Jordyn banged loudly on the locker room door to warn anyone before she stuck her head in. Brian Campbell was just tying up his shoes and looked over at Jordyn with a surprised expression.

“Hey Jord.” He smiled nonetheless.

“Hey, have you seen Dad?” She asked gently, already reaching for her cell phone.

“I’m sure he’s waiting for you at the car, he just left.” Brian insisted. Jordyn nodded and headed down the long hall where maintenance staff was already cleaning up from after the game. But when Jordyn had finally reached the parking lot, all she saw was a blur of fans walking the streets excitedly, high off the win of their favorite team. To say that it was freezing was an understatement, and Jordyn quickly turned back to the doors only to find that they had locked behind her.

“Damnit.” She huffed, wrapping her arms around her, growing even more bitter at the fact that she didn’t grab her coat just because Jon told her to before they left the car. What did he know anyways? Pressing her phone to her ear, it rang five times before she gave up and ended the call before trying again. And again. And once more for good measure. “Where are you?” She began to panic, noticing that another ten minutes had passed and Brian still hadn’t emerged from the building. He must have gone out another door. Rubbing her hands up and down her arms, her teeth began to clatter as she grew lightheaded again. She flipped to a new number in her phonebook and pressed the sleek BlackBerry to her ear once more.

“Hello?” The voice answered.

“Dyl?” She shivered out.

“Jord? Are you alright?” He asked, noticing that something was definitely off in his girlfriend’s voice.

“Can you come get me?” She all but whimpered. “It’s freezing and I’m locked outside.” She chattered.

“Sure, give me ten minutes okay?” She could hear rustling in the background. “Where are you? Why are outside?” She could hear the frown in his voice.

“I’m at the UC, I got locked out. I don’t know where my Dad is and everyone’s gone.” She managed out with the loud clashing of her teeth.

“I’ll be there in five minutes okay? No, two, I’ll be there in two minutes.” He insisted. Jordyn nodded to herself at his words as he ended the call. True to his word, Dylan pulled up as soon as possible, getting out of the car, taking his jacket off that had been warmed by his body heat and helping her into the passenger side, cranking the heat up as high as possible. “Let’s get some cider or hot chocolate.” He insisted, finding a Starbucks and getting in the drive-thru line. “You feel okay?” He asked, placing his hand on her knee. Jordyn nodded tiredly and looked up at him through droopy eyes. “Oh babe, you do not look alight.” He said with a sad smile.

“I feel terrible.” She wanted to just cry out her frustrations.

“We’ll get something hot to drink and I’ll bring you home right away.” He insisted, leaning over to give her a quick kiss. Jordyn nodded and sunk into the warm leather seat of Dylan’s SUV. When she awoke there was a white hot chocolate in the cup holder and they were a few feet away from her house. “It doesn’t look like Jon’s home.” Dylan frowned as they noticed one of the cars was gone.

“What the heck.” Jordyn sighed. “Will you come in?” She asked shyly.

“Yeah of course.” Dylan nodded, getting out and walking around to open her door, taking her arm as she wobbled in, dizzy, exhausted, and not to mention running a fever.

“Dad?” Jordyn called out. “You home?” She added. When there was no response, Dylan watched her as she very carefully made her way to the family room couch and flopped down onto it.

“Do you want me to grab some sweats or something?” He offered up his services. Jordyn nodded pathetically as he disappeared up the main staircase, returning moments later with a pair of her lacrosse sweats and her favorite Penguins hoodie. “I brought Doug.” He blushed bashfully as she kissed his cheek before changing quickly in the bathroom.

“Will you stay?” Jordyn asked Dylan after they had situated themselves on the couch. She laid against his chest with a blanket covering her up, Prince Maxie slept on his bed in front of the fireplace as Dylan held her softly. “Absolutely.” Dylan nodded. “Try to sleep.” He insisted.

An hour later, a rather displeased Jonathan Toews awakened them both.

“Jordyn, why are you home? Dylan, why are you here?” He frowned. “Does Sara know you’re not babysitting?” He all but fumed.

“Sara cancelled on you but apparently you didn’t get the message.” Jordyn huffed as she and Dylan straightened up. “Dylan is here because you left me at the UC and I got locked outside. It’s like negative fifteen degrees outside!” She huffed.

“No one ever told me that you weren’t babysitting and that you were coming home with me.” Jon said indignantly. “Are you sure that this just so happened to fall together so that you and Dylan would get time alone unsupervised?” He asked with a dark look, not caring that he was absolutely mortifying Jordyn.

“You’re such an ass sometimes!” Jordyn flared, surprising them both, this being the first time she had ever sworn at Jon.

“Jordyn!” He snapped.

“I should go.” Dylan butted in.

“Yeah I’ll walk you to the door.” Jon seethed, throwing Jordyn a look that made her regret her outburst, even if she knew she was right. “Come in my house again while I’m not home, and it will be the last time.” Jon threatened Dylan lowly.

“Don’t blame me because I was there for her and you weren’t.” Dylan countered Jon’s look rather bravely before making his way back to his car in the driveway. Jon’s eyebrows knit together in an expression you didn’t see on the captain all too often – if at all. Pure anger.

“You’re grounded.” Jon said as soon as he walked back into the family room.

“Grounded?! For what? I don’t even know what that means!” Jordyn’s hands flew up into the air. “I didn’t do anything wrong! You thought I was going home with Sara, I got sick at the game, and then we both thought I was going home with you! None of this is my fault!” She shouted.

“You need to calm down.” Jon spoke evenly. “I’ll talk to Sara and if your story checks out, then you’re in the clear.”

“My story? What? It isn’t a story, that’s what happened.” Jordyn frowned, tears of frustration building behind her eyes. Jon grabbed his phone and walked from the family room to the kitchen as Jordyn moved up to her room, closing the door and putting away the laundry Jon had folded for her earlier. Not five minutes later, he appeared in the doorway, a guilty look on his face. He didn’t have to say anything. “I can’t believe you’d think I lie to you over something so stupid like this. If you wanted me to believe you about something like this, I’d trust you.” She frowned, not letting him see the satisfaction of her tears.

“I’m sorry, Jordyn, okay? I just… I know what it’s like to be your age and to want alone time with your… significant other…”

“Do you? Grandma said you never had girlfriends growing up.” She snapped back, throwing t-shirts into her drawer.

“I…” Jon trailed at a loss for words. “I know what my friends did, and – ”

“I’m not a slut, okay? I’m not whoring around like every other girl my age! I’ve only ever had like two real kisses! So if you want to know, yes! I’m still a virgin!” Jon’s eyes grew so wide he was in danger of having them pop right out of his skull.

“Uh…” Jon’s mind was blanker than the morning after a snowstorm. “Okay.” He finished intelligently, turning on his heel and walking down the hall.

Jon got much more than he bargained for with that conversation.

•••

Over the next few days, Jordyn still wasn’t feeling well and even though she strongly protested, Jon insisted on bringing her into the doctor.

“Five-one, ninety pounds…” The doctor who had joined them in their room after a nurse had taken all of Jordyn’s vitals. “A little light.” He commented to which Jordyn just nodded, something she had been hearing her whole life.

“I’m working on it.” Jordyn mumbled as her legs swung from the high table she sat on. She didn’t especially love the doctor’s office, so Jon stood by the table and held her hand lightly.

“Well Ms. Toews, from the swab that my nurse took earlier, it looks like you have a case of mono.” He sighed, clipping his pen down onto his clipboard.

“Mono?” Jordyn and Jon asked at the same time, looking at one another blankly.

“Infectious mononucleosis.” The doctor nodded. “And because of your weakened immune system from your previous health history, we do have to handle your case rather delicately.” He added. “You’re going to be tired for several weeks, your fever should go away in a few days, and there isn’t a lot to do to hurry the process along. You’re going to have to drink lots of fluids, get lots of sleep and no physical exertion. Your spleen is swollen right now and anything like contact sports or jostling yourself around a lot could cause it to rupture.” He informed them both.

“Mono?” Jon asked again. “How do you get mono? Should I be worried?” Jon asked with a frown to which the doctor let out a tiny smile.

“Mononucleosis.” The doctor repeated. “Also known as the kissing disease.” He finished, making Jon’s eyes widen to the size of dinner plates.

“You mean like… an STD?” He whispered harshly.

“No, no, no. Not even close.” The doctor reassured as Jordyn wanted to die of embarrassment. “Super common, forty-percent of teens age fourteen to seventeen get it.” He finished. “So, antibiotics, ibuprofen, rest, fluids, I’ll write the prescription.”

“Sounds good.” Jon nodded.

“And work on that weight.” The doctor added.

“Yeah.” Jordyn sighed, resting her head against Jon’s stomach as the doctor filled out the prescription pad. Jon rubbed his hand up and down her back soothingly before taking her hand as she got off of the table.

“So, home, bed, soup and tea.” Jon listed off after tucking Jordyn into the car. “I can even get Amy to make some of her Italian wedding soup, huh?” He asked, genuinely worried about Jordyn – she had been slugging and sickly for a while and he was glad to finally know what was wrong.

“Kay.” She spoke gently, laying her head back against the headrest of the chair.

“Dyl’s calling you.” Jon said, nodding down to the cup holder where her phone had lit up. Jordyn answered it and after a short conversation hung up, tossing her phone into the back seat. “Something wrong baby girl?” He asked, with just the tiniest bit of hope in his voice.

“I just need some space sometimes.” Jordyn shrugged, closing her eyes. “Dylan’s great and all, but once and a while I need a little me time.” She finished.

“God, I love you.” Jon leaned over and kissed her head as they sat at a red light. Not a few moments later were they pulling into the driveway. “Okay there?” He asked with a frown as Jordyn heaved herself out of the passenger seat. Jordyn simply nodded as Jon walked over and crouched down just a bit in front of her. She set her hands on his shoulders and he looped his hands under her thighs, pulling her up onto his back. “Almost there.” He insisted, bringing her into the house and smelling Amy’s perfume right away. Carrying Jordyn up to her bedroom, he set her down on her bed gently. “Comfy clothes, I’ll go get some tea and Pedialyte.” He insisted.

“No.” Jordyn whined, burying her face into her pillow.

“Yes.” Jon whined right back. “You heard the doctor, more weight, more vitamins, more of everything. Starting with Pedialyte.”

“Hate that crap.” Jordyn mumbled into her pillow.

“Change.” Jon instructed again before disappearing downstairs to the kitchen where Amy was leaning over a ten-quart pot on the stove. “Mm, is that soup?” He asked hopefully.

“You know it.” Amy smiled, looking over her shoulder so Jon could kiss her lips softly. “I figured either way, this would be a good idea.” Amy added.

“Mono.” Jon sighed, reaching into the fridge to grab a Pedialyte before filling a mug with water and sticking it into the microwave.

“From Dylan?” Amy giggled, stirring the large pot of soup slowly.

“I would assume so.” Jon shrugged. “Plus, sounds like trouble in paradise.” He added, gossiping much like his mother would. “He called her on the way home from the doctor’s office and she was not having it.” He whispered in fear that Jordyn would somehow hear them in the kitchen.

“Don’t go poking your nose where it doesn’t belong, Mr. Toews.” Amy wagged her finger in Jon’s face before he could capture it with his own hand and kissing it gently.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He insisted. “Can you ladle me up a big bowl of that?” He asked politely. Soon, Jon was balancing a mug of tea, a bowl of soup, and a Pedialyte tucked under his arm up the stairs. “Here we are.” He smiled at Jordyn who was tucking herself into bed after changing into a pair of her lacrosse sweats and one of his old Shattuck-St. Mary’s tee’s that was on it’s last breath. “Two of these need to be gone before you fall asleep, okay?” He said, lining them up on the tray that sat over her legs in bed. She simply nodded as he sat down on the edge of her bed, brushing her hair away from her face, smiling at the way she leaned into his touch.

“Does this mean I get to skip school tomorrow?” She asked with a little half-smile.

“This means you have to skip school tomorrow.” Jon informed, leaning down to kiss her temple. “And probably the next day, too. And the day after that.” He nodded with a sigh. “We’ll lay low till you’re feeling one-hundred percent better.”

“Okay.” She sighed, deciding to get the worst over with and chugging her Pedialyte.

“Good girl.” Jon insisted, taking the bottle, watching as her eyes drooped dangerously low. “Here, I’ll save the soup for later.” He said, grabbing the bowl. “You need sleep.” She nodded and curled up on her side. “Sleep tight.” He insisted, double-checking that her toes were tucked in.

And for those few moments, Jon could see that little eleven-year-old girl again.

He missed her.