Time to Change

“You're graduating tomorrow,” Alex murmured into the phone.

”Yeah.”

“Don't sound so excited,” he teased, a small smile on his face.

Eli sighed. ”It's hard to be excited when the only people I want to be there...won't be.”

Alex looked up at the bland, beige ceiling of the hotel and smiled. Right then, as he was speaking to his best friend, he was hiding out in a four-star hotel in Los Angeles. He had managed to convince Flyzik to reschedule the tour dates so he could make a detour (with the rest of the guys—and Lauren, of course) to Los Angeles so he could see Eli graduate. “Yeah.”

”Okay, now you don't sound too excited.”

Alex's smile widened. Okay, maybe he shouldn't have been taking pleasure in annoying Eli. But it was always something that had been something of a past time for him. “I'm really trying to contain, I promise.”

”Whatever you say, Lex. So. Where are you guys, huh? How's the fabulous life of All Time Low?”

“Fabulous,” Alex answered. “I'm not even sure what city we're in, though. We don't have a show for a couple of days.” And, okay, stretching the truth so she didn't suspect anything; that was his plan. Although, she had no reason to suspect anything. “Talked to James lately?”

”Only took you two minutes to bring that up. I'm proud of you,” Eli muttered dryly.

“Well, I've been practicing,” he said.

”After Monday night... Nothing.”

“You talked to him on Monday?!” Alex asked, voice tight, as he sat up in the bed.

”Stop shrieking! And, yes, I thought I told you that.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “You most definitely did not tell me that,” he told her. He ran a hand over his face, growing frustrated. He really wanted to find James, hunt him down and kick his kneecaps in and, well, the usual. But he wasn't really too keen on going to prison—no, he was too pretty for that.

”It wasn't anything major. He apologized, I didn't accept, he left.”

“That's all that happened?” he asked, his voice low.

”Yes.”

He didn't believe her. He didn't know what made him think that; he didn't know if it was the tone in her voice or the fact that he felt like there was something else going on. But he didn't want to press it. He knew Eli well enough to know that if he pushed, she would keep denying it. So he didn't. “Okay.”

”You don't believe me.”

He laughed. “Not in the slightest.”

Eli sighed. ”Well, I mean, it was whatever. Until he tried to throw you into the mix.”

“What did he have to say about me?” Alex asked, surprised. It really didn't bug him when he was brought up into people's conversations—he was pretty much used to it. But he and Eli were very protective of one another, so if James had said something to upset her that involved him, he really wanted to know.

”He tried to say that I broke up with him because of you. Total bullshit.”

“Well, I understand,” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. “I mean, you're a girl. Girls don't make decisions for themselves. Others make decisions for them.”

”Oh, yes, how could I forget,” Eli muttered, tone mocking.

Alex smiled. “Because no one told you to remember.”

”You're not funny.”

“The smile in your tone says otherwise.” There was a knock on the door and he cursed under his breath. “Hang on two seconds, love,” he said, without thinking, He tossed his phone onto the bed and walked over to the hotel room door, opening it to find Rian.

“We're goin to get food. You game?” Rian asked.

“Yeah, give me two seconds,” Alex told him quietly.

Rian smiled. “Why are we whispering?” he asked in a mock stage whisper.

“Eli's on the phone,” he answered, pointing towards the bed. “Two seconds.”

Rian nodded. “Meet you in the lobby.”

Alex shut the door softly before walking back over to the bed and picking up the phone. “I gotta go.”

”Did you just call me 'love,' Alex?” Eli asked.

And, okay, Alex had used pet names before. He'd used them on Eli, Lauren, everyone in the band, and pretty much anyone he came into contact with. He didn't think it was a big deal...but apparently she did. “Yes?” he said, though it was more a question than a statement.

”Oh...”

“Is that...not okay?” he asked, his eyebrows furrowing under his hair and beanie.

”No, it's... I was just, uh...surprised.”

“Oh.” Alex was silent for a minute. And it was moments like that which made him question everything. They had always been friends and that was the last thing he wanted to change. But there were some moments when he wondered if their relationship was ever going to be the same as it was before. Before the kiss, before the fight, before the other kiss, before...everything changed.

”You should...probably get going, Lex.”

“Oh. Right,” Alex said, running his hand over his face again. “Um, I'll talk to you later, Eli. Good luck at graduation tomorrow.”

”Thanks. I wish you could be there,” she told him quietly.

Alex felt himself smile. “Me too.”

And as Alex hung up the phone, he couldn't help but wonder how they could go from how things used to be to so awkward that he didn't think he could stand it.

He just wanted things to go back to the way they used to be.

But they never would.

Because Alex didn't have it in him to pretend like he wasn't in love with her anymore.

+

Eli didn't feel any different. She didn't feel like a college graduate. The only thing she felt like was a fool, standing in the bright sunshine on the UCLA campus in a ridiculous white cap and gown. She didn't want to walk for graduation, she really didn't, especially considering that no one from her life was going to be there. But somehow, Alex had managed to convince her that she should do so, just for the experience.

Because, well, she knew that Alex was all about the experience.

She dug her cell phone out of the pocket of her skinny jeans that she was wearing under the gown. She had refused to dress up; the way she rationalized it was that whatever was underneath would be covered and that, if she had to wear the hideous gown, she'd wear something she liked under it. But it didn't matter since she didn't have to justify herself to anyone anyway.

No missed calls, no missed text messages. She couldn't hide her disappointment—she would've put money on Alex sending her a good luck text. But there was nothing. With a sigh, she put her phone back into her pocket and joined her classmates as they filed onto the field.

And, okay, maybe she distracted herself throughout the entire ceremony by playing Bubble Breaker on her phone. Maybe she only paid attention when everyone else around her stood up. And when she walked across stage and heard her name and class rank (summe cum laude, she was very proud of that...especially considering her hatred for her political science course), she could've sworn she heard someone yelling her name. But as she looked up into the crowd of thousands of people, she couldn't place it.

Taking her diploma and posing for her picture, she sat back down and brought her phone out again. She had one missed text message. From Alex. She couldn't help but smile. It was weird. She couldn't help but wonder if it was unnatural for her entire mood to flip flop just by seeing his name pop up on her screen. She wasn't sure, but it was something she was getting used to.

So proud of you, love. Today is your day. Text me when you're done. I want to talk to you.

And, okay, maybe the smile on her face was ridiculously huge. And maybe she wasn't even aware, until the girl next to her elbowed her ribs, that the ceremony was over and she could leave. But as she walked off the field, she actually felt sad for a moment. She took a look around her as she walked towards the middle of campus. She had spent four years in the place but it had never felt like home. She was beginning to wonder if she'd ever find that feeling again.

There were families all around her, hugging, laughing, smiling, some crying. And while she could have spent time crying over Gabe not being there, and while she could have spent time complaining that her mother wasn’t there to see her graduate, she didn't. She was simply thankful for the experience because she knew that a lot of people had a lot less.

She unzipped the ridiculous gown, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket and dialing Alex's number. Even though their conversation the night before had ended on a more-than-slightly-awkward note, her heart still skipped a beat when he answered.

”How does it feel to be a college graduate?”

“A lot like being a college student, only there's less pressure to turn in a paper and more to actually finding a job,” she told him, flinging the hat off of her head and holding it against her side.

”That'll be simple for you.”

Eli laughed. “If you say so.”

”So...where are you?”

“Just...chillin in the quad outside of the field.”

”That sounds fun... What are you wearing?”

Eli laughed. It was mainly because it was such an Alex question in the first place. Of course, it was also because of the slightly-perverted tone his voice had taken on. “Nothing.”

”I knew it.”

“I was kidding,” Eli told him.

”I know. I hate that gown on you, though. It's so unflattering.”

Eli's mouth dropped open and she started turning around, looking in every direction until her eyes landed on Alex. He was impossible to miss—his Nikes were so loud, she was surprised she didn't notice him before. She hung up the phone and ran over to him, jumping on him in a hug. “This is the second time you've done this, Alexander Gaskarth,” she whispered in his ear.

“You're welcome,” Alex told her with a smile, holding her tightly before setting her down on the ground.

“I can't believe you. You said you couldn't make it!” she said.

“No. No, you never even asked if I could make it,” Alex corrected her. “Therefore, no lie. I'm so proud of you, Eli, really.”

Eli smiled and couldn't fight the flush that was starting to creep up the back and sides of her neck. “I can't believe you're here.”

Alex smiled. “Good surprise, huh?”

“How did you even know?”

“Let's not ruin the good mood,” Alex told her. He didn't speak for a moment; he just ran his hands over her hair and down the sides of her face. His hands stopped at her neck, thumbs grazing her collarbone that was peeking out of her plain black v-neck, and a soft sigh escaped his lips. Without even thinking about it, he leaned down and pressed their lips together.

That was it.

That was the feeling that Eli had been searching for. She'd been searching for as long as she could remember. Only, she didn't realize that she didn't have to look any further than her own best friend. Her hands clenched his upper arms as she allowed herself to melt against him. It was all she wanted, to feel safe and secure, and it was something that only Alex could provide her.

Sucking in a deep breath, Eli pulled away, resting her forehead against Alex's. “Alex... I don't think...”

“We can talk about it later, Eli,” Alex promised. “Don't push me away again, love, please. I don't think I can handle not being able to kiss you whenever I want.”

Eli flushed, smiling, her eyes drifting shut. She didn't even respond, she just nodded.

Alex smiled and pressed their lips together again. And maybe they would have to talk about it later. Maybe that's when they would finally figure out what was going on. But that wasn't even on Alex's mind. The only thing he was thinking about was how perfect she felt against him.

“Um, guys.”

Eli pulled away, eyes falling on Jack. She blushed again, looking down. “Sorry...”

“No, don't be,” Jack said, walking over to them and hugging Eli. “Congratulations, Eli. You're officially an adult!”

Eli laughed. “I've been an adult for a long time now, Jack.”

Jack paused and thought about it for a moment. “Okay, well now you have to act like one.”

“Is that ever gonna happen for you?” Lauren asked dryly, before pulling her best friend away from her boyfriend and giving her a hug. “So proud of you, Eli!” she told her, smiling and laughing.

Eli took her time, hugging Zack, Rian, and Flyzik as well, before ending up next to Alex again. She didn't even question it when Alex wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her almost possessively against her side. “Thank you guys so much for coming. I really didn't expect it.”

“It's what we're here for,” Lauren said, shrugging.

“I wouldn't have missed it for the world,” Alex whispered against her ear before pressing a kiss to her temple.

Eli flushed, looking down. And while she felt completely comfortable around him, she couldn't help but feel a little awkward. But she didn't know why.

“Eli?”

Eli froze. She knew that voice. A cold chill went down her spine and she felt Alex tense up next to her. She turned around slowly, pushing a strand of red hair behind her ear, and her eyes widened as they met those of someone else. Someone else with the same color eyes, the same color hair.

“Eli...?” Alex asked softly, turning around with her.

“Dad?”