Live Through This Lie

Retrospect is an awful thing. When you fuck up do really wanna sit there and realize that you could have done things differently? It sucks to be hanging around hours later when it hits you that you've made a mistake. Laying on my bed a couple of hours after coming back from my so-called date with Brian everything hit me.

My first mistake happened when I opened my mouth in the car.

"So Brian, where're you taking me."

"It's a surprise. Sit back and relax, you'll see when we get there."

"I don't do surprises so you should just tell me." I smirked, turning to face him in my seat.

"How can you 'not do surprises'. What do you for Christmas? Pick out all your own gifts?"

"I don't celebrate Christmas." I responded without thinking.

In retrospect, I shouldn't have said that. The power to think before you speak is a beautiful thing.

"You don't celebrate Christmas? Sorry, that came out fucked up. I meant to ask what
religion are you?"

"Um, I don't have a religion." I answered quickly, hoping he'd drop the subject.

No such luck.

"Oh so you're atheist?"

Not exactly. I believe in God. I'm just not on his side.

"Yeah sure, something like that." I mumbled.

"That's cool. I've never really been all that into religion anyways. Why's the topic making you so uncomfortable?"

"I'm uncomfortable because your shit hole of a car." I shot back with a smirk.

"I always liked them feisty." He winked.

Mistake number two happened when I got a little to close to Brian.

"So this is where you decided to bring me?" I turned to Brian with a smile on my face as I climbed out of the car.

"Yeah well you didn't strike me as the kind of girl who'd want dinner at a fancy restaurant and the whole movie deal seemed so unoriginal." Brian grabbed my arm and pulled me into bar. The sound of a heavy bass hit us the minute we stepped into the bar. I looked around and noticed a band playing and a huge crowd dancing around on the right side of the place. I felt Brian grab my arm and pull me over to the bar. A couple of drinks later and I was ready to hit the dance floor. I grabbed Brian's forearm and pulled him along behind me until we hit the dance floor. I grabbed his hands and placed them on my hips as I swayed and grinded back on him. Brian dropped his head to the crook of my neck and started to nibble right below my ear. I could feel his torso pressed to my back and his thighs against mine. I spun around to face him and ran my hands up and down his chest. He let his arms roam the sides of my body while keeping his face buried in my neck. When his hands snaked around my waist and grabbed my ass I grabbed his hair and pulled his face to mine. In a split second his lips were pressed against mine. I licked and nibbled my lower lip until I parted my lips and let his tongue in. When our lips finally parted I started to lick a trail along his neck.

Retrospect, I need to learn to keep my mouth to myself. I'm a fucking vampire; I should have know that the pulse in Brian's neck would be too much temptation to handle.

Before I knew what was happening my teeth were scrapping along the area between his ear and his neck. I could practically taste his blood on my lips. I could feel my fangs start to grow when Brian grabbed my chin and whispered in my ear.

"Getting a little frisky are we? Why don't we take this somewhere else?"

Lucky number three happened when I walked into Zacky's apartment.

I pulled my lips away from Brian's and took a deep breath before attacking his full lips with mine again. We were parked in front of Zacky's building and I was straddling Brian's waist in what was supposed to be a goodbye kiss. His hand's were running up and down my body and through my hair. I felt his calloused hands slip under my shirt and snake around to my breast. I tried and failed to hold back a moan when he slipped his fingers into my bra and tugged on my nipples. I ran my hands down his torso and splayed my fingers across his crotch. I could feel his dick start to harden through his already tight jeans. I bumped my hips against his continously, earning a low groan from him. When his fingers started to mess around with the button to my jeans I decided it was time to stop. I pushed his hand away and climbed back into the passenger seat. Brian turned and stared at me.

"What the fuck?"

"What kind of girl would I be if I fucked you on the first date?" I smirked.

"The girl of my dreams."

"The wet ones?" I grinned.

"Fuck you."

"You can't. First date remember."

"The girl of my dreams remember." He mocked me.

"Well the girl of your dreams is a bit of a whore."

"Don't judge." He smiled.

I laughed and got out of the car.

"What? No goodbye kiss?" Brian asked.

"I think we already did that. And a lot more. Bye Brian." I waved and headed towards the building. When I looked back Brian had already made his way down the street. I opened Zacky's door to find him and all the other guys hanging around and playing games. They all looked up when the door slammed shut. It took me a moment to realize why everyone was staring at me with open mouths and dumb looks on their faces.

My hair was tussled all over the place, one bra strap was hanging of my shoulder and my shirt had ridden up to my navel.

Retrospect, I probably should have fixed myself a bit before walking in. Looking like I just had sex was not the way to prove to the guys that I had everything under control.

"Did you fuck him? Please tell me you didn't fuck him?" Zacky started rambling, breaking the silence that had fallen on the room.

"Holy shit this is bad." Matt groaned.

"No self control? I knew leaving you two whores alone would lead to bad things." Johnny jumped in.

"Was he any good?" Jimmy asked.

Everyone paused and turned to stare at him.

"What you want a turn too?" Zacky asked bewildered.

"Just curious." Jimmy shrugged.

I rolled my eyes and sat down.

"No I did not have sex with him." There was a collective sigh of relief from everyone but Jimmy who was still contemplating Brian's sex skills. "Way to expect the worst from me guys."

"Well when you walk in looking like that." Matt said, gesturing to my body.

"You have to be careful" Johnny said "we all know that if you get out of hand you might end up biting him too soon."

"Fuck off, I can control myself!" I practically yelled, forgetting the fact that I'd almost lost control early today at the bar.

"Calm down. He was just pointing out that-"

"I know what he was pointing out." I cut Zacky off and stood up. "I'm going to bed."

So what have we learned from this moment of fucking retrospect. Well Brian thinks I'm freaky on the subject of religion, I need to practice a bit more self control or end up royally fucking up and the guys think I'm too out of control to handle this job. Well all this won't matter in a week and a half when Brian's birthday comes. Because at that point shit really will hit the fan. I just won't be here to deal with it.