After Everything's Said and Done

The next day, I got a call in the morning from a nice hotel that wanted to give me an interview. I was excited. Out of the very few applications I had completed and returned, someone wanted to interview me. Gerard was still sleeping when I got up, so I ate a quick breakfast before getting ready and going to the interview.

When I returned from the interview that afternoon, which I felt went quite well, Gerard was still asleep. I was slightly annoyed by this because we needed to talk.

I went into Gerard’s room and stood next to the bed, staring at Gerard’s sleeping form. I was confused. Gerard was great. I knew he loved me and would take care of me happily. But he drank a lot. If I could try and get him to drink less he’d be a lot better. The only problem left would be do I love him the way he loves me?

Frank was great too, despite the fact he had abandoned me after finding out I was pregnant. I knew he loved me. He just made a bad choice 5 years ago. I could tell he was more mature now. Plus he is Sam’s father. Shouldn’t Sam get her real father? This was so confusing.

I continued staring at Gerard and thinking. A few minutes later Gerard started to wake up and I had made my choice. I know, I made it quick, but I had a life to live and couldn’t dwell on this forever. Plus the few minutes of thinking had helped me sort out my feelings.

Gerard opened his eyes and saw me string at him. He sat up and smiled at me.

“Good morning Claire,” he said.

“It’s the afternoon,” I said, giving him a small smile.

“Oh well,” he said.

“How’re you feeling?” I asked.

“Wonderful,” said Gerard. “I don’t usually get hangovers.”

“Lucky,” I said.

“Yes I am,” he said.

“Gerard,” I said, getting serious now. “I know you just woke up, but we need to talk.”

“Ok,” he said. “What about?”

“Do you remember what happened last night?” I asked. I watched as Gerard frowned and looked down.

“Yes,” he said. He looked back up at me and I could actually see tears in his eyes. “I’m so fucking sorry, Claire. I love you so goddamned much it kills me inside to know I hit you and caused you pain.”

I looked down, tears coming to my eyes now.

“I’m sorry Gerard,” I said, crying now.

“For what?” Gerard asked, confusion and worry evident in his voice.

“I know you love me,” I said. “But, Frank loves me too.”

“What’s that got to do with anything?” said Gerard.

“Everything,” I said. “I still love him. I love you too..But I love you more in a friend way. You’re my best friend Gerard.”

“So you’re going back to Frank?” he asked in a monotonous tone.

“Yes,” I whispered. I was going back to Frank.