Scars

- Blaze Pov -

I have done nothing all week but sit and think about shit I saw happen in the very same bed that made the little angel growing in me. And as I think and replay the secne in my head over again, I drown into a pit of depression and my heart cracks more and more till it disappears and leaves a hollow shell of what I use to be.

My phone kept ringing and ringing and left with messages of questioning. I shut it off after I saw most of the messages are from Brian. I am just so pissed off yet heart token and I feel like I have nothing left to give. And all these should haves keep running through my head like; should have be nicer. Should I have treated him better. Should I have given it up more. Should I have let him be on the bottom for once. Never mind the last one. Then the question that makes my heart pound so hard that it brings me pain.

Was I ever good enough for him. I knew the answer to that. No. I was never good enough and I should have realized that long ago. I mean who would ever want me. The only good thing about me is my dads a rock star.

In all I'm just useless. But I'm going to promise myself right here and now I am going to take care of this child and I'm going to do all I can to make sure he/she has all the loving it can get. I'm done with Brian if he wants to screw around, let him, but I'm not going to break my heart and my babies because his only brain is his fucking penis! I'm staying away and I'm not coming back!

As I made that choice I jumped out of bed and started packing up my stuff, got online ordered me a plane ticket out of the stayes and halled ass out of the hotel and to the car. I'm going to get a new start and I'm not taking no shit from anybody!