Secrets Will Kill You

We walked into the bar and we walked over to Curtis and sat down with him at a table as he was taking shots. “You’ve gotta give those purple nurples a shot” Dean chuckled and Curtis glared at him, completely un-amused.

Mel elbowed him. “So, what happened, Curtis?” I asked.

“You won’t believe me, nobody does”

“Give us a chance” Sam said.

“I do not want this in the papers”

“Off the record, then” Mel stated.

“I, uh…I blacked out and…I lost time, and when I woke up…I don’t know where I was…” he explained to us how he was laying on an exam table with a white alien and black eyes looking down at him.

“Then what?” Mel asked.

“They did tests on me, and um…they, uh…they probed me” he said, taking a shot.

We all did our best not to laugh. “They probed you?” Dean asked.

“Yeah. They probed me. Again and again and again and…” He took another shot. “…And again and again and again and then one more time”

“Yikes” Mel said, very emotionless.

“And that’s not even the worst of it”

“How could it get any worse? Some alien made you his bitch!” Dean said, causing Curtis to glare again.

“They…they made me…slow dance!” he claimed and took another quick shot…

“You guys are exaggerating again, huh?” Bobby looked at all of us.

“No” we all said at once.

“Then this frat boy’s just nuts”

“We’re not so sure” Dean said.

We were all looking at the giant crater in the ground. “I’m telling you, guys. This was made by some kind of jet engine” Sam said. “You mean some saucer-shaped jet engine?” I asked.

“Well, what else could it be?”

“What the hell? Dean said.

“I don’t know”

“No, seriously, dude, what the hell?”

“I don’t know! I mean, first the haunting, now this? The timing alone…there’s gotta be some kind of connection here”

“You mean, between the angry spirit and the sexed-up E.T.? What could the connection possibly be?” Mel questioned.

“What could we do? So, we just kept on digging” Dean said and it was his turn to tell.

We pulled a student aside and started talking to him. “So, you and this guy, Curtis...you were in the same house?” Mel asked.

“Yeah”

“You heard of what happened to him, right?” Dean asked.

“Yeah, he said there was aliens, but, you know…whatever”

“Look, man…I know this all has to be so hard” I said.

“Not so much” Sam started to get emotional. “But I want you to know…I’m here for you. You brave little soldier!” he pouted.

“I acknowledge your pain. Come here” I said and hugged the boy? “You’re too precious for this world!” Sam claimed, getting in on the hug…

“Wait a minute! I never hugged the guy!” I narrowed my eyes.

“Sure ya did. You’re all into the hugging thing”

“I am not!”

The whole time, Mel was laughing. She leaned back a little so I pushed her and fell off the bed with a thud. “And I never said that!” Sam claimed as him and Dean ignored Melissa as she just stayed on the floor, putting out her legs again and leaning back on her elbows.

“You’re always saying pansy stuff like that!” Dean said.

…Sam and I both patted him on the back. “Well, um…thanks. Thanks for the hug. But I’m okay, really…to tell you the truth, whatever happened to Curtis, he had it coming”

“Why’s that?”

“He’s our pledge master. He put us through hell this semester and got off on it. So, now he knows how we feel”

“Hmmm…it’s okay” he said, patting Sam on the shoulder as he pouted and apparently I hugged Mel after that, ‘feeling emotional’.

We got back to the motel room. “This still doesn’t make a lick of sense. But hey, at least there’s one connection” Dean said. “Between what?” Sam asked.

“The victims. The professor and the frat guy…they’re both dicks”

“That’s a connection?” Mel questioned.

“You got anything better to go on, I’d love to hear it” Sam started to go through his bag.

“Where’s my laptop?”

“I don’t know…I mean, think about it. A philandering professor gets a dead girl, a pledge master gets hazed…” Dean stated.

"I left it in here”

“Well, you obviously didn’t…I mean, these punishments…they’re almost poetic. Actually, it’d be more like a limerick, but still…”

“Okay. Hilarious. Where’d you hide it?”

“What, your computer?”

“Yeah. Where’d you hide it?”

“Why would I take your computer?”

“Unless the girls did, but why would they, they have Brit’s …and we keep the door locked. We never let any maids in…”

“Actually Sam…my laptop has a virus, I haven’t been able to work on it yet…” I said and then we all looked at Mel.

“What? You think I took it?” she asked. “Well it’s possible. Now that I think of it…you were the last one to use my laptop…” I said.

Her jaw dropped as she furrowed her eyebrows. “So, now I stole Sam’s laptop and poisoned yours somehow? Brit, I did not get a virus into your laptop and I did not take your laptop, Sam” she said.

Dean smirked. “Looks like you lost it, Poindexter”

“Dude, you know something? We’ve put up with a lot from you”

“What are you talking about? I’m a joy to be around”

“Yeah? Your dirty socks in the sink? Your food in the fridge?” I had to agree with that one.

“What’s wrong with my food?”

“It’s not food anymore, Dean! It’s Darwinism!”

“I like it”

“Yea, it’s not that bad…” Mel shrugged.

“And you know what, all I ask from you, the one thing is that you don’t mess with my stuff” Sam continued.

You done?”

“You know, how would you feel if I screwed with the Impala?”

“Or if I messed with the truck and the bike?” I added.

“It’d be the last thing you ever did” Dean and Mel both threatened.

“Did either of you take his computer?” Bobby asked.

“It serves him right, but no” Dean said and Mel shook her head. “Well, I didn’t lose it. ‘Cause I don’t lose things” Sam stressed. “Oh, that’s right. Yeah, ‘cause he’s Mister Perfect” Dean said, mockingly.

“And did you put a virus in her computer” Bobby asked Mel.

“I would if I could but I wouldn’t even know how to”

“Okay, okay. Why don’t you just tell me what happened next?”

“There was one more victim” I said.

“Right. Now, we didn’t see this one ourselves, either. We kind of put it together from the evidence. But this guy…he was a research scientist. Animal testing” Sam explained.

“Yeah, you know, a dick” Mel stated. “Which fits the pattern” Dean concluded.

We explained to him about the man who was dragged into the sewers and attacked. “The cops didn’t release a cause of death because they had no clue what the cause was” Dean said. “So we decided to check it ourselves” Mel said.

We all snuck in through a window into a morgue. We opened one of the drawers and found the corpse. We took off the cover and saw several limbs. “This is just nasty” Dean said, disgusted.

“Yeah. Mutilated…looks to me like something was hungry” Sam said. “They identify him yet?” Mel asked.

“Yeah, a research scientist at the college. Guess where his office was, by the way”

“Crawford Hall, same as the professor” I stated. “That’s right where the frat boy had his close encounter” Dean said.

“Yeah. Hey, grab me that thing, would you?” Sam asked for the microscope. Dean wheeled it over. “Thanks”

He started to look through it at the limbs. “What is it?” I asked.

“It looks like a…a belly scale?”

“A belly scale? From what?” Mel asked.

“Uh…an alligator?”

“An alligator in the sewer? Come on” Dean said in disbelief.

“What? Dean, it’s a classic urban legend. A kid flushes a baby gator down the toilet, and it grows huge in the tunnels”

“Yeah, but no one’s really ever found one. They’re not real”

“Well, neither is alien abduction. But something jumped on this guy”

“This couldn’t get any weirder” Mel commented.

“Yeah, maybe we should get some help. I’ll call Bobby. Maybe he’s run into something like this before.

“Oh, I’m sure he has. It’s just your typical haunted campus, alien abduction, alligator-in-the-sewer gig. Yeah, it’s simple” Dean said, sarcastically.

“We decided to search the sewer anyway. So, we split up, Brit and I took one end of the campus while Dean and Mel took the other”

“Did you find anything?” Bobby asked.

“Yeah, we found something. Just not in the sewer” Dean said with venom. This is Dean and Mel’s flashback.

They got back to the Impala and saw all the tires were slashed and Dean found a money clip with the initials S.W. on them. They managed to get back to the hotel and then Mel raced to the truck, getting inside to check and make sure everything was okay as Dean stormed inside. Mel looked in the back seat and saw her tapes were missing and Dean’s lighter was laying on the floor. Then she moved slightly and the whole steering wheel came off as an earring flew into her lap. All the while Dean and Sam were arguing.

“You cant let the air out of the tires you idiot! You’re gonna bend the rims!” Dean yelled.

“You!” Mel hissed as she came walking in, pointing her steering wheel at Dean. “I want my tapes back now”

“What are you talking about?”

“My cassette tapes! I know you took them!” Then I stood up. “And you! You messed with my truck!” she yelled at me, throwing the steering wheel at me. I caught it.

“I didn’t go near your truck!”

“And I didn’t go near your car” Sam argued with Dean.

“Oh, yeah? Huh. Then how’d I find this?” Dean asked, taking out a money clip with money attached to it.

“And if you didn’t mess with my truck and take my tapes, then how did I found your earring and your lighter"

“Hey, give me back my money” Sam said.

“Oh, no. Consider it reparations for emotional trauma”

“Very funny Dean. Now give it back”

“No. Now, give me my lighter” he looked at Mel.

“Nope”

“Give me my earring” I demanded. I know it was just a stupid earring but I've just had enough.

“No”

Then Sam tried snatching his money back as I tried to get my earring back but we both missed. “Dean/Melissa I have had it up to here with you” Sam and I both yelled in aggravation.

“Yeah, right back at ya” Dean and Mel both responded.

Then Sam went to grab for the money again as I went to grab for the earring and then Dean went to grab his lighter but none of us got what we wanted. We all ended up just causing a big commotion and ended up wrestling each other on the bed. It was pretty bad to say the least…

“Okay, I’ve heard enough” Bobby said. “Anyway, you showed up about an hour after that” Mel said. “I’m surprised at you four. I really am. Sam, first off…neither Dean or Melissa stole your computer”

“But I…” Sam started.

“Shh! Dean, Sam did not touch your car”

“Yeah!” Sam rubbed it in Dean’s face.

“Brittney, Melissa didn’t put a virus into your laptop” Mel stuck her tongue out at me. “And Melissa, Brittney didn’t mess with the truck and Dean didn’t take your tapes”

“Told you” Dean said.

“And if you four bothered to pull your heads out of your asses, it all would’ve been pretty clear”

“What?” Dean asked.

“What you’re dealing with”

“Uh…” Sam started. “I’ve got nothing” Dean said, glancing at Mel and she shrugged. “Me neither” both Sam and I said.

“You’ve got a Trickster on your hands” Bobby informed us.

“That’s what I thought” Dean said, snapping his fingers. “Yea, okay” Mel said, sarcastically, rolling her eyes.

“But I’ve gotta tell you…you guys were the biggest clue” Bobby continued. “What do you mean?” I asked.

“These things create chaos and mischief as easy as breathing. And it’s got you so turned around and at each other’s throats, you can’t even think straight”

“The laptops” Sam and I both said, looking at each other.

“The tires” Dean added.

“The tapes” Mel finished.

“It knows you’re onto him. And it’s been playing you like fiddles” Bobby said.

“So, what is it? A spirit? Demon? What?” Dean asked.

“Well, more like demigods, really. There’s Loki in Scandinavia, there’s Anansi in West Africa, dozens of them. They’re immortal, and they can create things out of thin air. Things as real as you and me. Make them vanish just as quick”

“You mean, like an angry spirit or an alien or an alligator?” I questioned.

“The victims fit the M.O., too. Tricksters target the high and the mighty…knock ‘em down a peg, usually with a sense of humor. Deadly pranks, things like that”

“Bobby, what do these things look like?” Mel asked.

“Lots of things. But human, mostly”

Then she stood up and put her hands on her hips. “And what human do we know who’s been at ground zero this whole time?” she questioned, rhetorically.

We were all confused at first…but then we realized who she was talking about: The Janitor.

~~~~~

The next morning, we got back to the building and posed as DSL people again. Sam and I checked the locker room while Dean and Mel kept the janitor/trickster distracted. We found a copy of Weekly World News about an alien abduction but that was kind of it. So, we met Mel and Dean outside and started talking. Sam and I were skeptical about it being him just because he reads the Weekly World News but Dean and Mel seemed pretty dead set on the guy.

“Okay, another thing Bobby mentioned was that these suckers have a metabolism like an insect, a real sweet tooth” Mel said.

“Well, we didn’t find any candy bars or sugar. Nothing” Sam said. “Yeah, it’s probably ‘cause you missed something” Dean said.

“I don’t miss things”

“Oh, right, ‘cause you’re Mister Perfect”

“What? Are you really still pissed at me because of what the Trickster did?”

“Oh, come on, man. You’ve been a tight-ass long before that Trickster showed up”

“Okay cut it out, now” Mel intervened.

“Dean, you just stay here, keep an eye on the janitor. Mel, Sam and I will go to his place, see if I can find any actual evidence before you go barging in and staking the man. Just wait till we get back, okay?” I said.

He shrugged. “Okay?” Sam repeated, looking at Dean.

“Okay!” Dean yelled and the three of us started walking away.

We got to Bobby and as we waited for night to come, Mel worked on putting her steering wheel back on. She eventually got it, with Sam’s little help and once it got dark out Dean walked inside. We knew the trickster was watching the whole time so the plan was working. After a few minutes, we all went in as well with our stakes in hand. We got outside the auditorium and just waited for our cue. I stood in front of one door while the others stood in front of the three other doors. Once it was time, we all walked in.

“That fight you guys had outside…that was a trick?” the trickster asked. Dean shrugged and smirked as we all started walking down the steps. “Hm…not bad. But you wanna see a real trick?”

Then I saw a man holding a chainsaw come up behind Sam. “Sam!” I yelled and dove into him, getting him out of the way.

The man continued to swing his chainsaw at us but we kept dodging the swings. Bobby came over to help but the man cut right through Bobby’s stake. I dodged another swing but I tripped down a few steps and then saw Mel go down to help Dean fight off the crazy women in. I saw she threw his stake to Dean for him to stab the trickster. But then I saw the man with the chainsaw standing before me, ready to chop me into pieces but I felt Sam get his arms around me and then I saw the man disappear. I looked up at Sam’s face and I felt the heat rush to my cheeks but then we both cleared our throat and he helped me up. Bobby got to us and we walked over to Mel and Dean as she helped him up and we all looked down at the bleeding body of the trickster.

“You guys okay?” Dean asked. Bobby and I nodded. “Yeah. I guess” Sam said. “Well, I’ve gotta say…he had style” Dean groaned slightly.

We all walked outside to the truck and the Impala. “Bobby, thanks a lot, we really couldn’t…” Sam started.

“Hey, save it. Let’s just get the hell out of Dodge before somebody finds that body"

“Yeah” Sam said and we all agreed.

We all glanced at each other, thinking the same thing…we were sorry about letting the trickster get to all of us. Then Mel and I just rushed to the truck and got in with her in the drivers seat. She looked behind us and saw her tapes were in the back seat. Then she faced forward as we waited for the guys to head off so we could follow them.

“Hey, Brit, did I really get up on a table and start dancing?” Mel asked me as she made a face. I laughed.

“Yea, Mel, ya did”

“Hmm…lets just keep that to ourselves” she said and I laughed again.

“Look Mel, I…” I started but my voice kind of trailed off. “I know…me too” was all she said before we hit the road again.

I sat back and got comfortable and sighed in relief. Like I said…the passed couple days have been really long…