A Deal's a Deal...

A's POV

I sniffled lightly, pulling the bottom of my shirt up to my face to wipe away the tears and snot from my face. I pulled my knee's to my chest, hugging myself tightly. I looked out to the water again with the sun almost completely disappearing behind the ocean.

"...so now you know. I loved you, we ended, I found someone who practically ripped me to pieces along with taking my baby away from me." I said facing a spaced Matt. He was shocked and I could see hurt. He buried his face in his hands. I stifled a laugh and patted his back. "It's all good right? I probably deserved it. Shit happens all the time." I took a deep shaky breath. "All that matter's to me...is that I get to have my baby back in a few months. " I say in a quiet whisper. Matt still didn't budge. Maybe we we're never meant to be. Maybe he was suppose to dump me so I would get raped and have my beautiful baby boy. I should thank him really, but then again I should regret everything but I can't bring myself to do it.

I reach for his hand and squeeze it gently but he rips it out of my hand just as quickly. He stands up, pushes his hands through his hair in frustration. "A..." he says. I can hear the dead guilt in his voice. "...how could you not tell me any of that before? Did what we have mean that little to you?" he asked, practically yelling at me in annoyance.

I knew this would happen. Everything would be ripped from me again with all the humanity I had left. I stood up calm and brushed my butt off. I stared him in the eyes, seeing the anger radiate off of him as if steam were shooting from his ears. "I'm sorry." was all I could say before turning and walking away. I knew it was to good to be true for us to fall back in to place so quickly. I made it a quarter down the pier before I began to break down in tears. Salty water poured down my cheeks and my breathing became heavy with anxiety.

I was tripping over my own feet, losing sight from the tears making my eyes blurry. I sobbed harder with each thought. My baby boy, losing the love of my life and my best friend, my eighteenth hell of a birthday, the disappointment from my parents to just kick me out of there lives. Everything came crashing down on me and I couldn't help but be close to stop breathing.

I tripped over my foot and landed against the wood railing, hitting my ribs hard causing me to cry even more. I sat down behind the trash can to his in case Matt saw me slightly trip, which he did. I heard footsteps coming closer and saw his lady tattoo on his right calf that had Harlot written underneath it. I hid my face away from him, embarrassed. "Just got away...I'm a fuck up, I know. Just go back to Val already." I say, anger boiling in my veins. Apparently, he was angered by my attitude so the fight began.

"Maybe I will?! I don't know anymore A!! Anna...why wouldn't you tell me? Something as serious as this?! So we ended our relationship, didn't mean we ended all together! I love you as much as I did then! And a kid...a kid for Christ sake! You couldn't tell me that? And Chris! I told you he was bad fucking news dammit and did you listen, NO! You never do! Never have! Your so stubborn! I swore to him that if he ever hurt you I would..." I cut him off with my anger skyrocketing from his words.

"What?! What would you have done if I told you?!" I stood up yelling with my tear stained face. He stood there, taking in every word I said. I slammed my hands on my thighs in anger and then rubbed my hands through my face to my hair. "You wouldn't have done anything Matt! Admit it! You had Val! The fuck with you loved me, it's bullshit! If you loved me...you wouldn't have let me go in the first place!" I said yelling, taking deep breaths to try and calm down.

He stood there, hands in his pockets, glaring off to the side to avoid my eyes. I shook my head and scoffed. I started walking away but turned around to get my last word in before finally ending the fight. I got right up in his face to prove my point. "You know, I actually wanted to abort the baby when I first found out I was pregnant..." I said in anger, the beginning of depression creeping upon me slowly. He glared at me then and he began to walk off.

I grabbed his arm and made him spin around to face me again. "The reason why was because it was not't yours and it killed me..." I said calmly with my tears slowing as his face softened to a sad pout. I let go of his arm and started to back up. I threw my hands in the air walking backwards. "I guess I know where we stand Matt..."

I started to turn around when I tripped over my feet again and this time I landed on my hands and knee’s. I flipped over on to my butt and went to stand when Matt’s hand was in my face, palm up open. I looked up and saw him slightly smiling. “Apparently not…” he said before pulling me up and holding me in a tight hug. That’s when everything hit. I started crying again and beating of his chest in hate, in anger at why he did this to me.

“I hate you, I hate you, I hate you! Why did you do this to me?! Why did you let me go so easily?!” I sobbed harder, slowly losing the strength to hit him. “It wasn’t easy Anna…” he whispered to me. My heart stopped at those words. I couldn’t believe him, I couldn’t…or at least I didn’t want too. I pounded one last time on his chest before giving in. “All of this could have been…avoided.” I said with a shaky tone.

I tried to match my breathing to his to still my anxiety. He was tracing circles on my lower back like he use to when I had an anxiety attack, calming me down to the point where I could breath again. Only Bri and him could ever calm me down faster than anything but Bri always just hugged me. Matt knew the weak spot. I smiled contently as he pulled my face away from his chest to look in his eyes, wiping the tears away. I looked in his eyes and he smiled slightly. “Don’t tell me who I ever loved and who I love now.” I couldn’t bring myself to look into his eyes anymore. I stared down but he just pulled my face to look again. “Anna…you’ve always been the one.”

I pout at his words. “Then why did you let me go…?” I ask quietly. He took my hands in his and kissed each letter tattooed on my fingers starting from the “C” to the “K” reading ‘Casual Fuck’. “Because I had to be sure of myself. I wanted to make sure I truly did love you. There was no way in hell that I wanted any of this to happen babe. I should have kept you all along. I’m so sorry for being the biggest dumb ass in the world and I would absolutely grateful if you would still say you were mine.” he says, desperation lacing each word.

I smiled, grabbing his face, kissing him as deeply as I could with passion, forgiveness, and so much more hidden behind it all. When we let go, his forehead laid against mine and he smiled. “I’ve always been yours.” I said kissing him harder than before. I felt him smile between the kiss and he cupped my hands in his, gave them a squeeze, then wrapped his arms around my waist, and picked me up, spinning us in circles. I laughed in excitement from the spinning and plus, his kiss had that effect on me. He dropped me and kissed me again.

Once he let go he was a little hesitant . “Just ask me already…” I said, knowing he didn’t know if it was appropriate to ask me what he wanted. He sighed. “Is it, uhm…” He signed frustrated again while I giggled at his easily angered ways. “Is it okay if I meet the kid?” he asked scratching the back of his neck. I smiled and kissed him. “Who do you think was coming with me?” I asked choosing to take the opportunity to mess with him. He smirked at my teasing. “Well, honestly. I figured it’d be Bri and Jay.” he said with one little peck sealing my lips. I sighed and pushed his mouth harder against mine, making the kiss become more forceful than he intended.

Once he let go, he grabbed my hand and we started running down the pier. “Race you?” I asked cocky and he smirked, letting go of my hand, making a head start. “Cheater!” I yelled while racing past him at the end of he pier. Let’s say I’m a pretty fast runner. I jumped up and down, dancing around, moving my hips from side to side in victory.

I felt him wrap his arms around me from behind tightly, whispering in my ear seductively, with his hands setting on my lower stomach, slowly edging his fingers down slowly. “You. Are. Making. It. Veryyy difficult to not take you here and now.” I smirked at his actions. “Maybe later.” I said before grabbing his hands and walking on the warm sand down to where everybody should already be.

Randomly out of the silence. “So how old will it be?” I laughed how he said it. “He will be 6 years old on October 12th.” I smiled and squeezed his hand in gratitude for being so curious. “So his…birthday is exactly 9 months from yours. That’s kind of cool.” I nodded in agreement. I always thought that was pretty amazing how it’s exactly 9 months. “So what does he look like?” I sighed a little, feeling a little bad because I didn’t know exactly what he looked like now. But I remember the way he looked in my arms the day he was born.

“He definitely has Chris’s face but he has my lips and nose, but his eyes jumped out at me the most.” I said in astonishment which caught his attention even more. “Chris has blue eyes, I have green ones, but Jemison had hazel-ish green eyes. Like a mixture of mine sort of.” I said looking at Matt where he smiled. “Kind of like your’s actually.” I said kissing his cheek and he blushed a little.

“Jemison?” He asked with his eyebrows crooked with a smirk plastered on his face. It was my turn to blush at his comment. That’s what he always wanted his first son’s name to be, Jemison Blake. “Sorry…” I said in guilt at me stealing his name. “Why? That kind of gives me something to look forward too.” I quirked my eyebrows with confusion as to what he was trying to say. “How?” I laughed. He squeezed my hand and then kissed it once more. “Because that means you wanted a family with me one day…” He smiled and I couldn’t help but to let a tear slip. God, I feel like such a pansy.

“I could have had hope back then right?” I asked and he kissed me softly. “Your not the only one with hope.” He said smirking. Today has turned out pretty well. I thought of Jemison though. Wondering if he was happy where he was now, with his father. How Chris’s been treating him these past 5 years, almost 6? I sigh at my thoughts as Matt notices my anxiety showing again. “Did I say the wrong thing?” I shook my head. “No, no. I was just thinking of Jemison. How he’s been treated for these past years?” “Don’t worry about him okay? I’m sure he’s perfectly fine. I promise. Just wait until you get to see him and you’ll go crazy not knowing what to do with yourself. I’ll probably get excited too.” He laughed at himself as I giggled at his comment.

I stopped him before we got to everyone else. I could see the bonfire light with Jimmy chasing Johnny around the fire with beer’s in there hands. Zacky and Brian we’re arguing over something while Jay was rolling around on the ground in laughter. Leana, Lacey, and Gena we’re laughing, most likely gossiping, with beer’s in each hand. I smiled in the return of air old times.

“You know we’ve missed half of the party?” He nodded before kissing my lips tenderly with a peck. He looked in my eyes before kissing me and holding our mouths so closer. The attraction between us was more than anything possibly I could believe to experience with him ever again. “It was worth it though…” he said against my lips. I smiled and hugged him tightly. Now is the perfect time for me to tell him in words like we use too. “I love you…” I whispered in his ear before kissing his cheek then walking away before he could respond.

I walked over to the group and put my hand up, seeing my bag beside one of the logs, throwing my flip-flops I had been holding since we started to walk on the sand, near my bag. I looked over to everyone and simply stated my phrase. “What’s up bitches?”

Everyone looked over a me and smiled. Jimmy looked from sitting on top of Johnny. “A!” He said before engulfing me in a hug. “Hi Jimbo!” I said before squeezing back tightly in our hug. “Hey, Hey! Let her go! I missed her!” I heard a voice say in impatience. I smiled at the sound that joy could bring me. Just her voice itself.

“Jay Jay, I’ve missed you and I am so sorry for earlier!” I said quickly in our tight hug. “Me too wife! I was so bitchy earlier.!” She said and I giggled at our stupid argument. I whispered to her while Matt was finally walking up to the group, wearing a stunned face that I could not contain my laughter over.

“I told him…” I said, meaning she would know that I told him about Jemison now. Her eyes widened but she smiled. “Anndddd?” I nodded. “He said he wanted to meet him sometime and he wanted…” I stopped to take a breath from the excitement. It was honestly Hard To Swallow “He said he wanted to have a family with me one day…” I giggled as she squealed in delight.

Brian came over and wrapped his arms around Jay while winking at me, raising his fist for our normal hand explosion. I pounded my fist to his and we smiled at each other. He knew that I finally succeeded in telling Matt. “I’m proud of you A.” He said laying his head on Jay’s shoulder. “Me too.” She said. I smiled to my two bestest friends I’ve ever had.

“Me three guys.” And we all laughed. Matt came up behind me and set his arms around my waist, laying his head against mine. I put my hands on top of his hands on my stomach. “You cannot just leave me like that with those words.” he whispered kissing my ear while Jay and Bri went to get a few beers to celebrate my own little party. I giggled at his voice. “Sorry?” I said with sarcasm. He just kissed my head smiling. “Don’t worry. I love you too. I always have.” He said contently and it made me so comfortable inside except for the tingly butterflies rushing.

I looked out to the water and thought of an idea. “Hey guys?” Everyone looked at me. “Who wants to play chicken in the water?” I asked grinning evilly while everyone yelled in agreement. “So who goes against who first?” I asked. No one said anything so I raised my hand. “Fineee! Who wants to go against me?” Jay screams ‘Me’ so let the games begin.

I throw my jacket off as I notice Matt staring at me intently. I smirk while pushing my shorts down trying to be as sexy as possible as he walked over to me. He grabbed my waist and kissed me hard. I smiled at me accomplishment. He grabbed my shirt and threw it over my head, then rubbing his hands up and down my sides. I hissed and moved away from him in pain. I didn’t understand why my ribs hurt so bad,

“What’s wrong?” I looked at my ribs and they were purple already. I laughed at my clumsiness. “I tripped earlier, remember? On the rail? This is the result!” I said and he kissed my hand. “I’m sorry…” He said with guilt on his face. I smiled and kissed his lips. “It’s all good. Now lets go play some chicken and kick some people’s ass!” He smirked and nodded.