I Found Myself Falling...Not For the Right Thing Either

I groaned, stretching my arms out and arching my back. I heard a few cracks and I smiled to myself. I always loved cracking my back. Well, also my knuckles and neck. I just got the greatest sensation when I cracked every joint in my body. Weird? I agree, but it just made me feel great. I usual crack my knuckles when I’m nervous or bored. It was just something I always did. Jake and my parents thought it was always gross, but I couldn’t help myself.

It was New Years Eve and I couldn’t help, but be super excited to see the ball drop at the party we were going to. Well, Katie insisted I go to with her. I had my whole outfit picked out and everything. I had gone to the mall with James the day before to find matching outfits. I was going to wear a simple baby blue dress that was strapless and went to just above my knees. It was tight at the top, but slowly got looser until it reached the bottom which was very ruffled and flowed nicely.

James ended up buying a baby blue shirt to match my dress. Why we did this? We both had no clue, but it seemed fun at the moment that we decided on buying them both. I didn’t know what he was planning on wearing for pants, but that obviously wouldn’t be matching me.

I pulled my sheets off of my body and stepped onto my bedroom floor. My brown hair was tangled into crazy knots and everywhere. I never knew how crazily I slept until I woke up the next morning and saw my bed head and sometimes my raccoon eyes if I forgot to take my make-up off from the night before.

I tried to comb the snarls out of my hair, but it didn’t work so I gave up and just walked to the bathroom to go take a shower. It was probably the best way to get my hair untangled and to wake me up. The hot steam and water running around me always seemed to wake me up quickly.

♥

“Rae Ann! Hurry your butt up. I have to get in the shower too you know.” I rolled my eyes at my mother’s comment and just continued to brush my hair thoroughly. I hated when she used my middle name. It made my name seem just like a first name, not a middle also. She just had to make Ann my middle name because Jake had Alexander. At least Jake Alexander Daniels didn’t seem like a first and last name. Twins didn’t have to have matching middle names. Only my parents…

I hadn’t even been in the shower that long. I looked around and realized I didn’t have my phone with me so I actually had no clue how long I had been in here. I could’ve been a half an hour for all I knew. Sighing, I set my brush down on the bathroom counter and stared at myself in the mirror.

My eyes were bright green today and my hair actually corporate after I had brushed it all the way through. It had already started to dry in its natural wavy texture. Ignoring it I grabbed my towel and wrapped it around my body so I could let my mom get in.

She was waiting right outside the door as soon as I opened it. I didn’t look at her because I knew from her tone that she was behind for whatever she had to do today.

“Finally!” Jake yelled from his room. He started out the door and then saw the bathroom door close behind my mom. He suddenly cursed under his breath.

“Sorry.” I mumbled. “She just had to get in there.” He muttered a few more things before heading back to his room, probably to continue sleeping.

This whole holiday vacation it was our usual routine to sleep in till 11 or 12, eat and then go wherever we planned on going for the day. We usually went our separate ways and this vacation was the same. I had been with Katie and James or Kent most of the days. We had gone to the mall, the movies, paint balling, etc. Why paint balling? Well, I have no clue, but Kent suggested it and said it would be fun so I made Katie and James come along and we all played. Of course Kent was the best, but Katie came out in last. She freaked out when paint got on her outfit.

I had a few welts on my arms and legs, but nothing that wouldn’t go away in a few days. They were always covered up to by either jeans or a sweatshirt/long-sleeved shirt since it was always cold out. Today I decided on a pair of black jeggings, wedge boots and a deep red V-neck long-sleeve shirt.

“Did you get that gift I put in your room?” Confused I turned to see my dad.

“Um… no. Why?” He just shrugged.

“I saw it under the tree when I started taking it down yesterday. Thought it was from Kent or something. It had your name on it.” I furrowed my eyebrows, but turned to see where my dad was pointing. There on my desk was a tiny present. It was neatly wrapped and had a bow on top. The silver wrapping paper made the green bow stand out.

“I guess I did forget a gift.” I said, more to myself than to my dad.

“Just letting you know. Do you know where your mother is?” I nodded and pointed towards the bathroom, walking towards the gift.

It was weird. I had already gotten a gift from everyone, especially Kent. Liz was definitely not going to give anyone a gift so; I had no clue who it was from. Instead of looking for a card or anything, which I didn’t see around it, I pulled at the silver wrapping paper, unwrapping the small gift. Underneath the silver lining was a navy blue box. Taped to the top was what looked like a note? I unfolded the lined paper and read the words that were scribbled onto the page.

Whoever says girls can’t buy themselves heart shaped jewelry is stupid.

I know how much you loved this so I decided to get it for you.

Merry Christmas.

Craig.

I don’t know why, but my heart fluttered as I read the note. I reread and then opened the box. There lying in the blue box was the heart shaped necklace that I had seen at the mall. I dropped the note, my jaw dropping in awe, and pulled the necklace out of the box.

Did Craig really buy this for me? I picked the note back up and reread it again. The hand writing was definitely Craig’s and he was the one who I told him about heart shaped jewelry, but why?

Why would he buy it for me?

Visions of the Christmas party flashed through my mind and goosebumps formed on my arms. We had kissed, well, made-out. Nobody was around and I swear I felt those fireworks that girls always talked about. It was amazing and yet I find this afterwards.

My dad had just found the box and I was pretty sure that we had searched all around the tree to make sure nobody was missing a gift. So, did he put this under afterwards? After our kiss? My hands suddenly felt clammy as I gripped the note and necklace tighter.

Why was I getting so worked up with this? It was just a gift from Craig. I mean everyone exchanged gifts. It was Christmas for crying out loud! I laughed nervously to myself, setting the note and necklace back in the box. It was all just a kind gesture. It wasn’t anything special. Craig and I were enemies. Both kisses were just things that had gotten up caught up in the moment.

“Yeah, that’s it.” I told myself, setting the box on my desk again, next to its silver wrapping paper and bow. I swallowed nervously.

I didn’t convince myself very well. We couldn’t have gotten caught up in the moment twice. It just didn’t seem right. All the years I had known Craig we were never this close, not even when I liked him when we were younger. None of this made sense to me. Why did I suddenly have feelings for Craig?

Like the way he smiled made my heart flutter, the way he joked around with me got me blushing. The way he kissed me made fireworks erupt throughout my body.

I fell back onto my bed, resting my head on my pillow and closing my eyes.

Nothing seemed right. It was all just a big misunderstanding. My mind was just making things up. All of these things were an act that my mind was putting on for me. I knew this because I promised myself I’d never fall for Craig again.

Never more would Craig Moore lie upon my heart.

I jumped at the vibration that ran down my leg. My eyes snapped open and my heart started to beat faster.

What the hell?

I looked down and instantly felt like an idiot, luckily nobody had seen me. My phone buzzed again and I slipped my hand into the pocket of my jeans to retrieve it. The screen turned black again and I opened it to see who had texted me. When Kent’s name flashed across the screen my heart ached. What a coincidence.

I had totally forgotten about Kent this whole time. This whole time that I was thinking about Craig, I had forgotten that I was dating Kent. How horrible was I?

My eyes scanned the screen of my phone and I read the text that he had sent me.

Can’t make it to that party tonight, I told Katie and she was fine with it. I hope you don’t mind. I’ve got to go to one with my family.

I tried my best to feel something, anything, but nothing came. I didn’t mind that Kent wasn’t coming. It didn’t affect me. I ran my fingers along the keyboard and replied back to him.

Don’t worry about it. I’ll just have to make James dance with me. ;)

I tried my best to make it flirty, but I failed miserably by saying James’ name. Wow Rae, just add in a gay guy. That’ll make him totally jealous. I just clicked the ‘send’ button and placed my phone back into my pocket.

Great. Just great. I was already unsure about my feelings for him and I had to wait a few more days until I could see him again. Sighing again, I closed my eyes to try and think, but nothing was clear. My mind and heart kept telling me there was something there.

♥

“Rae Rae! Hurry up my pudding pop!” I just laughed at James’ messed up nicknames.

“You’re so messed up.” I told him, letting my curls fall around my face. He just shrugged.

“You and Katie are still friends with me so I don’t care.” I laughed again as he flopped onto my bed.

“So, who’s this guy that I heard you were thinking about dating?” I asked him, putting my earrings that Kent had given me for my birthday in my ears.

“His name is Frankie and he’s really hot.” He told me, flipping through channels on my TV.

“I kind of need more details than that.” Then I added, “We’re leaving in 10, turn off the TV.” He rolled his eyes at me.

“Yes, mom.” Doing as told he turned off the TV, then sat up on my bed. “Well, he’s got gorgeous black hair, beautiful grey eyes and adorable lips.” I licked my lips.

“Sounds yummy, where can I get myself a Frankie?” I asked, wagging my eyebrows. James laughed and rolled his eyes.

“Frankie’s mine. You can keep Kent.” Rolling my eyes as well I turned around.

“Does the dress look good?” I asked him. James smiled and nodded.

“You look beautiful my lady.” He told me, eyeing my body. I didn’t mind because I knew that James wasn’t eyeing for the pleasure that other guys get. He was doing it like a girl would eye a pair of shoes she liked and wanted to buy.

“Why thank you my dear.” I told him, finishing my make-up. “What necklace should I wear?” I asked, walking towards my necklace stand. I eyed the rack carefully, looking over every necklace that I had. None of them went with my earrings or the dress. It was kind of disappointing.

“What about this one?” James asked. I looked over my shoulder, but he wasn’t behind me so, what necklace was he looking at? I turned and instantly my cheeks heated up.

Hanging on James’ fingers was the necklace Craig had bought me. The box was in his hands and the note in his lap. My heart started to beat faster. Did he read the note? Did he know that Craig bought it for me? His eyes were glued to the charm that dangled from the silver chain.

“This is really pretty. Who gave this to you?” My cheeks heated up even more and I lunged for the note. I snatched it before James could read it. His eyebrows furrowed and I just crumbled the note up in my hand.

“Nobody, I bought it for myself. It was a spur the moment kind of thing. I thought it was pretty and well, yeah. I bought it.” My whole lie came out in one long mumble as I said them fast, meshing them all together so that maybe James wouldn’t understand and question me.

“That’s weird. I thought it was like a rule that girls couldn’t buy themselves heart-shaped jewelry?” I just shrugged.

“Never heard of it.” I lied again, snatching the necklace from James’ grip. I hid the note behind my back and set the necklace back in it’s box. James’ lips fell into a frown. “What?” I asked, trying to put the lid on the box, but before I could get it on James grabbed it from hand and then ripped the note from my other. I gasped, feeling the note rip in half.

Something within me pinged, but I tried to ignore it the best that I could.

“Give that back!” I yelled at James, jumping at him. He snickered, backing up and off of my bed, unfolding the crumbled up note and reading it. My cheeks deepened their color once again after just cooling down. Great. Now he was going to know.

“Aw!” James gushed, turning the note over. “You have a secret admirer!” He said, looking over the note again. Secret admirer? It wasn’t secret. I mean Craig’s name was right there on… My eyes widened in shock. No… it couldn’t have… I made sure James was still looking at the note before pulling the ripped half into my view. There on the page read:

Craig.

I sighed in relief. James didn’t see that it was from him.

“Do you know who it’s from?” James asked again. I shrugged, playing along.

“No.” I lied.

“Wow, well I think you should wear it tonight.” He told me, smiling. I frowned. I really didn’t want to. I mean, what if Craig was there? He’d see me in it and think I was some obsessed girl and… What was I thinking? He’s the one who bought it for me. I could just say I really loved the necklace.

“I guess.” I mumbled, grabbing the box from James’ hands and opening it.

“Good girl. Now you can stop lying.” My body instantly froze. I squeezed my hands together. I still had Craig’s name that was in the note in my hands so how did he know…? “Obviously you knew about girls not buying themselves heart-shaped jewelry or else this person wouldn’t have written it on the paper.” I closed my eyes letting out a shaky breath. Once again, just was saved.

“Oh, you caught me.” I said, trying my best to joke around. He just smiled at me and chuckled.

“You can’t lie to me Rae Ann Daniels.” He told me, pointing his finger at me, flicking my nose. My nose scrunched in response and I licked his finger. “Ew! Rae Rae.” I smirked in satisfaction.

“That’s for using my whole name.” I told him sticking out my tongue like a little 5 year old. Like my little Henry.

“Whatever. 10 minutes is up so we’re going to be late.” I rolled my eyes and grabbed my flats, hurrying out of the room after him and down the stairs towards his car.

The necklace was still in my right hand, sitting there just waiting to be worn. I unclenched it and stared down as soon as I got in the car. It sparkled in the last lights of the day, of the month, of the year.