To Find Perfection in My Pride

The bed was cold after Jersey climbed out of it and trudged into the bathroom to get ready for work. I curled into myself, setting the not-bruised side of my face against the pillow. I hugged it close and bit my lip, waiting on the shower to start. Once it had, I got up and dug through my bag to find clothes for the day. Once I found I had brought no matching outfits, I realized I was going to have to go back to the apartment. I couldn’t not match.

I scribbled Jersey a note that I would be back soon, and then pulled on a pair of jeans, leaving the shirt I had slept in on. I combed through my hand with my brush and slipped my moccasins on. Picking up my keys I padded out the door and down the street.

While I walked, I thought about everything that had happened lately. I didn’t get far, because after three minutes of walking in the freezing weather, with no jacket, a car slowed down to a crawl beside me. I heard the buzz of a window and looked over.

“Justin?”

“Hey there. Need a ride somewhere?”

Considering that our running into Justin at the coffee shop had been the main source of our problems lately, I knew that saying no would be for the best. But, when I thought about it again, I realized I was so fucking cold I couldn’t care either way. So I nodded and asked for a ride to Kimber’s. He accepted and reached across the car, opening the door for me.

I got into his car, instantly engulfed in warmth. I sighed happily and stuck my hands in front of the air vent.

Justin laughed. “What are you doing not at your place anyways?”

“It’s Kimber’s place.”

“I thought y’all lived together?”

“Cut the crap. I know she told you I moved out.” He looked a bit uncomfortable. “I know she told you why too. I’m going there to get more of my clothes. We’re staying with one of Jersey’s friends. So go ahead and report back to Kimber.” I looked up, we had reached our destination. “Thanks for the ride.” I pulled the handle and moved my foot towards the door, but Justin’s hand on my face stopped me.

“She didn’t say it made a bruise.” He whispered. I shivered at his touch, and looked back at him sadly, nodding slightly. His fingers stroked the bruise gently. He bit his lip, and then removed his hand. “Go get your stuff, I’ll drive you back to Jersey.” When I opened my mouth to protest he spoke again. “I’ll drop you off around the corner.” There was no reason for me to say no, so I nodded, then climbed from the car.

I carefully made my way up the stairs and unlocked the door with the key still on my key ring. I hadn’t seen Kimber’s car outside, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t home. I peeked inside, and satisfied that she wasn’t inside, I tiptoed to my room, just to be safe. To my dismay, all of my shit was gone. I frowned and sighed heavily.

“She fucking hid it all. She hid it. She. Hid. It. She made it all go away so I couldn’t come back and get it and move out.” I grumbled. “Bitch.”

“It’s not nice to call your best friend a bitch.” I turned around. Kimber was leaning in the doorway, frowning.

“Well, you took my shit. So.”

“I simply cleaned out your room.”

“Whatever. Hidden agenda should be your middle name.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because you obviously did not do this because you wanted to clean out my room to rent it out or shit like that. You hid it all so I couldn’t take it and move out.”

“Nah.”

“Kimber.”

“Fine. I hid your shit. But I am not telling you where.” With my suspicions confirmed, I stomped past her, shoving her out of the way and heading into her room. “Aiden, stop! You can’t! You can’t move out! Jersey has problems. If he gets angry enough, he could seriously hurt you! More than he already has.” I ignored her and continued rifling through her closet. I shoved aside the three dresses she owned and found my clothes folded behind them. “I don’t want anything to happen to you!” Beside my clothes, my shoes, jackets, and various other items hid underneath a blanket. I threw the blanket toward her and yanked her duffle bag off of the shelf above the rods. I shoved all of my stuff into the bag, and then stood up. I shoved past her.

She stopped me at the door and stared at me. “Aiden. Please. Please do not do this.”

I just glared at her. “I can’t believe you’d fucking do this. Hide my stuff? Low, Kimber. Just leave me alone.”

Stunned, she didn’t fight me when I opened the door, pushing her out of the way. I stomped down the stairs and threw my bag in Justin’s car, then ran off down the street.

He drove after me and cut me off before I could cross the next street. He got out of the car and ran after me as I ran right, thwarting his plan to stop me. But he was faster, and caught up quickly, tackling me into the grass. He pinned me down, then flipped me over and looked at me. I struggled against him, screaming. “Get the fuck off of me! Just go away! Stop it! You’re going to make things worse!”

I kept fighting him, and he just watched me calmly. After about two minutes I was tired and stopped fighting as much. Tears were streaming down my face and eventually I just started sobbing. I stopped yelling and just cried. Justin got off of me and sat against the wall of the building. He pulled me into his lap and I cried into his shoulder.

When I stopped sobbing and started sniffling, tears just dripping down my face.

“Come on.” Justin spoke finally. “I’ll buy you a cup of coffee.”

Twenty-five minutes later, we were in a coffee shop two towns over, in case Jersey went looking for me. Justin went up to the counter to get our coffee while I sat down in a looping wooden circular chair in a corner.

He brought over two steaming light Styrofoam cups and set one down in front of me. Ignoring the heat, I sipped it. I perked up a little, feeling slightly better.

“So, anything particular you wanted to talk about?” I asked, voice a bit raspy.

“Nothing really. Just thought we could hang out.”

“Hmm. Well okay.” I looked down and sipped my coffee again, adoring the warm feeling spreading through me.

“Think you could get away from Jersey next week? Say…Tuesday?”

“Depends.” I shivered at the amazing eye contact. “For what?”

“Circus.” He smiled.

I nodded before I could stop myself. “I love circuses!” Surely Kimber had told him this, but I couldn’t care less. It was a free trip to a circus. Whether it was a set-up or not, I was going to the fucking circus.