Danger Line

I locked the door of the bathroom. I didn’t want Matt to come in and see the scars on my body or how skinny I was. I looked at myself in the mirror. Hollow cheeks, bags under the eyes, and my skin no longer glowed like Matt used to tell me. I was more pale because I was always in caves, you’d think because I was in the desert I’d have a tan, but no. I was always in caves. I took off my uniform only to see that I had more damage done.

I could see my ribs whenever I twisted my body to the side. I removed my pants and there I saw all of the torture they did to me. I was burnt several times. I was supposed to give them information about anything I knew, but I kept telling them that I didn’t know anything. I was a medic. I said it all in English so they wouldn’t know that I could understand.

I knew Arabic.

It worked for our advantage, Eli and I.

The child I had… I lost it. The blast had been too much and I lost my baby. I didn’t know if I could tell Matt. I could barely think about it without breaking down.

I jumped when I heard knocks on the door.

“Kari?” Matt’s voice asked. “I brought you a towel.”

I could get behind the door and open it only a bit, but if he got a glance in the mirror he would see everything. I quickly picked up the uniform and placed it on my body to cover it. I stood behind the door and tried to cover as much as I could of my damaged body.

I opened the door enough to let the towel in.

“Thank you,” I told him softly.

“The guys are excited to see you. Especially Johnny and Brian.”

I smiled. “I’ll hurry then.”

“No, no, take your time, babe,” he said with a dreamy look on his face. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” I replied quickly and closed the door.

Matt’s Point of View

Kari’s quick response was not what I expected, but I had to remind myself that she wasn’t the same. It was only natural that she wasn’t the same. I had no idea what she went through. She could be suffering from PTSD. I had to be extremely patient like Priscilla told me.

She told me that when Martin came back from war, he barely said two words to her. He was there physically, but mentally he was always gone.

I stayed outside of the bathroom door until I heard the water running. I walked back downstairs and joined the others. Brian was with his girlfriend Nicole, Zacky with his fiancée Whitney, Jimmy with his Leana, and Johnny with his long time girlfriend Bethany. I sat down next to my son.

“When is mommy coming?” he asked with a grin on his face.

“She’s taking a shower, she’ll be here soon.”

“I’m gonna give her lots of kisses,” he clapped his hands.

I chuckled and ruffled his hair. “Me too.”

After a while, I went to the kitchen to get something to drink. Brian and Johnny walked in.

“So, how is she?” Brian asked. Brian and Kari were actually like brother and sister.

“Yeah, is she… the same?” Johnny added. Johnny and Kari were attached to the hip even though she was older.

“She’s fine, but she’s not the same, not after what she went through. She’ll never be the same, guys,” I opened the can of Rockstar I got.

“But she’s not remote or robotic, right?” Brian said.

I shook my head. “No, not all. She’s just… a little distant with me.”

Johnny’s eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”

I shrugged. “It’s just a feeling I have like… she doesn’t want me.”

“You’re imagining things,” Johnny scoffed.

I knew they wouldn’t understand, so I let it go.

“Maybe you’re right,” I mumbled. “I’m gonna go check on her, it’s been an hour.”

Kari’s Point of View

I strapped on the belt so the jeans I wore wouldn’t fall off. I brushed my short hair and walked out of the bathroom. At the same time, Matt walked into the room. He smiled at me and I returned it as best as I could.

“You look a lot better,” he said with his hands in his pockets. Something he did when he didn’t know what to do.

“I feel better, yeah,” I agreed. “The belt worked.”

His eyes were on my shirt. “Do you remember how much we screamed?” I knew he was talking about the Iron Maiden concert.

I nodded. “I nearly lost my voice like in the Slayer show we went to.”

“I think you found your voice after,” he smirked and I chuckled a bit.

“Right. So, the guys are waiting for me?”

“And their girlfriends.”

“Is Brian still with Nicole?”

“Strong as ever.”

“And Johnny is still with Bethany?”

“Yes. Jimmy married Leana about a year after… you disappeared,” he said uncomfortably.

“And Zacky?”

“He proposed to Whitney three months ago. They’re getting married in December.”

“Whitney?”

“She’s new to the family. You’ll like her. She’s pretty nice.”

I followed Matt out of the room and downstairs. As soon as I was downstairs, I heard Damien call me. I heard his little feet run to me. I picked him up and he wrapped his little arms around my neck.

“You smell like daddy!” Damien said.

I had used Matt’s body wash because it was the only one there.

“I know,” I chuckled and looked to Matt.

“I’ll get yours tomorrow,” he said.

“It’s all right, I’ll go tomorrow.”

“We’ll all go,” he grinned.

Matt took Damien when I went to greet everyone else. The guys all crowded around me and they all hugged me and told me how much they missed me. Brian and Johnny, my best friends, were clearly happy to see me. Their grins were wide and I swear I saw Brian remove a tear.

I greeted Nicole, Bethany, and Leana. My old girlfriends. I was introduced to Whitney. She was pretty. She had blue eyes and red hair to make the eyes pop out. She was also a bit pale. She told me she was from Kentucky, and that she moved to California two years ago and met Zacky through Bethany.

I welcomed her.

We sat down on the long couch. I sat with Damien on my lap and Matt to my right. My mom was to my left and I rested my head on her shoulder.

“Mi niña bonita,” she cooed in Spanish. (My pretty girl.)

“Te amo, mami,” I said back. (I love you, mommy.)

“Ya tambien te amo.” (I love you too.)

Damien rested his head on my chest while he looked at the TV. We were watching a movie. I didn’t know the name of it. I played with Damien’s hair absentmindedly.

The day went on and on. The night came and everyone started to head home.

I gave my parents tight hugs and the returned it.

My mom told me she always used to pray for me and for some reason she never believed I was dead. That something inside of her told her to keep hope. She said la virgencita brought me back to her. That would be the Virgin Mary.

“I’m gonna give Damien a bath and put him to sleep,” Matt said after my parents left, which were the last ones to leave.

“I’ll do it,” I said at once.

Matt smiled and nodded.

I took Damien upstairs and to the bathroom. I turned on the water to fill the tub with warm water. I took Damien’s clothes off and he got in the tub. I got some of the soap to make bubbles.

I had the greatest time giving him a bath.

“Sing mommy,” he said when I washed his hair. “Sing, please?”

I gave him a sad smile. “Mommy’s tired. Maybe another time.”

“Aw,” he whined.

I didn’t know if I could sing anymore. I screamed a lot in pain. My vocal chords were injured, I was sure. I didn’t want to find out if I couldn’t sing anymore. It would be just another thing they took from me.

I finished giving him a bath. I wrapped him up in a towel and carried him to his room. I changed him into his pajamas.

“My, my you’ve grown so much,” I smiled as I put on his Spider-Man shirt on.

“I-I-I got this taller!” he placed his hand over his head.

I chuckled. “So big!”

I gave him kisses and put him in the bed.

“You not gonna leave again, right, mommy?” he said with a sad and worried look on his face.

I shook my head. “I’m not leaving again.”

“Daddy was so sad,” he whispered. “He… never got out of bed.”

I moved Damien’s hair back. “Never?”

He nodded his head.

“He cried a lot too, but he doesn’t know that I know,” he whispered again.

“I cried a lot too,” I gave him a sweet smile. “But, I’m here now. No more crying. I love you, baby.” I kissed his forehead. “Good night.”

“Good night, I love you!”

I turned off the lights, but left his night-light on. I didn’t close the door. I left it open just a crack.

I walked into my room. Matt was undressing. My heart pounded and I was positive that some color returned to my face because of my blood pumping. His back was still as gorgeous as ever. I connected eyes with him.

“Is he asleep?” he asked.

I nodded. “Matt… I’m… I need…”

He got close to me. “Yes?”

“I need my own room.”

He frowned. His disappointment was clear. He stepped back.

“Uh, sure. I guess.”

“It’s for your safety,” I didn’t want him to think I didn’t want to be in the same bed with him. I really did. “I have night terrors, so I’ve been told. It was recommended to sleep in my own room.”

“How long has it been since they’ve found you?” he asked in confusion.

“Two weeks ago.”

“Two weeks?” he exclaimed. “Why?”

“Standard procedure. They made sure I didn’t go to their side. I was questioned and I was given a small time of therapy which I will continue here.”

“We still should have been notified at once.”

“It’s standard procedure, Matt. I was with them for two years. They had to make sure I didn’t turn against America.”

He sighed, reluctantly. “The guest bedroom is ready.”

I gave him a peck on the cheek, and he wrapped his arms around me.

The feeling of his flesh reminded me of so many hot and sweaty memories. It made me shiver.