Dark and Dirty Like You've Never Seen

My breathing was erratic. I could feel my face heat up. I didn't know this girl. She's obviously drunk. She must have my Frank confused with another Frank. I shook my head in disbelief as I saw the look on her face drop, realizing what she had said. She cleared her throat.

"I'm sorry... I don't mean to intrude. I should go." She started to stand up to leave but I leached onto her arm.

"Who's Miranda?" I asked again.

"Nobody. I'm sorry. I have to go."

"Look... I don't know you but you know something, now tell me!" I seethed. I saw her swallow hard as she slid back down the garage to me.

"Hey... I don't want to cause any problems, I must be thinking of someone else."

"Frank Iero. Short, black and red hair, tattoos and a lip piercing, in a band with Gerard?"

"Oh Jesus... no that's him. Look, I don't want to cause any problems."

"There's going to be problems if you don't tell me what you know." I growled. The alcohol was giving me a new sense of power. I felt like the hulk but at the same time felt so small. If whatever she's about to tell me is what I have been dreading to find out the past few days then my world will be crashing around me due to a girl I just met. A girl I don't even know. What if she's jealous and doesn't know anything? What if the point was to get a rise out of me? It's working. She better start explaining. I was breathing heavy through my nose, the cigarette I was holding was now burning out on the ground where I had dropped it. She ran her hands through her hair sighing heavily.

"Frank... well ... I don't really know him that well, just because Gerard but... I know Miranda. We've been friends for a long time. She called me the other day, crying... something about Frank."

I suddenly felt myself shrinking more and more. I wanted the ground to open up and swallow me whole. This isn't happening.

"She said he had stopped by, said he wanted to talk... but ... look I can't do this. I don't know you. You seem like a nice girl. I can't --"

"Will you just fucking tell me!" My voice cracked at the end. I felt my eyes stinging. Whatever she was about to tell me, I don't think I could take it. I would have to confirm with Gerard. She doesn't know what she's talking about. She sat silent for a moment and without batting an eye, she gave me a sympathetic look.

"They had sex. Again. A lot. They've been having sex for years, never dated though. I'm sorry. I can't do this. I have to go. Maybe under different circumstances we could talk again..." She flicked the cigarette out into the yard and rose from the ground. I didn't stop her this time. I didn't move at all. I almost forgot to breathe for a moment.

My body was shutting down. First my hearing. I barely heard the last thing she said when she walked away from me. Next, my sight. Everything around me became blurry and unrecognizable through the tears. My breathing. I had taken in one long breath, letting it out even slower and not taking another one that I was aware of. Last to go was my heart. As ridiculous as it sounds, I could physically feel it slow to a complete stop. My mouth hung open as I tried to process what I was just told, but I couldn't do it. I saw a pair of feet in front of me and looked up slowly to see Gerard. He was smiling but it didn't reach his eyes.

"Hey, I talked to Frank. Everything's... Angela? What's wrong?"

I saw him kneel in front of me and place the drinks in his hands on the ground and replaced his hands on my shoulders. I couldn't feel him. I just stared at him with vacant eyes. I saw him shake me.

"Angela, what's wrong?" He sounded more panicked this time. I heard someone scream nearby. I didn't realize it was me until Gerard had pulled me into his chest, his hand running along my back. I was screaming, crying, trying to catch my breath. My breakdown went unnoticed as the music boomed from the house and the garage and the people carried on their conversations, laughing and drinking and smoking and not caring. I heard Gerard shushing me and feeding me comforting words that feel on deaf ears. I didn't register anything he said. He pulled me back and looked at me, trying to wipe away my tears. He looked concerned but the look in his eyes suggested he and I both knew what really happened, he just didn't know how I got the information.

As his hand reached up to push the hair out of my face, I slapped it away and pushed him off of me so he fell back on his butt, startled. I jumped up and took off running through the yard. I wasn't sure where I was running to. I felt people bumping into me and saying things but none of it made sense. I was tripping over them and myself as I attempted to break away from the party. I felt a pair of hands grab my arm and spin me around. I looked up through tear stained lashes and saw Frank holding me. He had a look of concern and anger. Seeing him made it that much worse. I gasped for air and began sobbing again.

"Angela, what the fuck happened? Angela!" He was shaking me, too. Why was everyone shaking me? I pushed his hands off of me.

“Don’t you f-fucking touch m-me!” I wailed, clawing at his hands, trying to get him off of me. He just gripped tighter and pulled me closer to him. He looked more angry than anything now.

“What is wrong with you? Are you drunk?”

“Please let me go!”

“Angela, answer me damn it, what happened? Is it Gerard?”

I saw the panic in his eyes. I’m sure their conversation ended with something along the lines of “don’t tell her, I’ll tell her myself”, and now he feels Gerard has betrayed him. Every breath I took was rattling my whole chest. No matter how many times I gasped for air, it wasn’t enough. I was drowning. I saw Frank rearing up to yell at me again when I finally found the words to speak.

“Who’s Miranda?”

His face paled and I saw his eyes light up with a fiery rage. I saw behind him that Gerard was running toward us, pushing through people.

“Gerard…” He seethed through gritted teeth.

“No …” I breathed out, just as Gerard ran up to us.

“Angela, what the fuck is wrong? What happened?” Gerard asked, holding his side, probably from the sloshing alcohol in his stomach. Frank’s face dropped and he finally let go of my arms. I quickly began rubbing the spots where he had held me, noticing there were marks on both of my arms. It made me wince. Both from the pain and the shock. Frank would have never even dreamed of leaving a mark on me knowing the home I came from. I didn’t have time to dwell on that now. I looked up to see Frank had turned to face him. Gerard understood instantly the anger on his face and took a step back in defense.

“I know what you’re thinking, and I didn’t say anything.” Gerard put his hands up in defense.

“Really? How does she know who Miranda is, then?”

“I didn’t tell her. I fucking swear.”

“Bullshit!” Frank growled, learching forward and pushing Gerard so he was sent stumbling backwards. “I bet you couldn’t wait to fucking tell her. Anything to get close to her, right?”

“What are you talking about?” Gerard said, standing up straight and walking back towards Frank, hate now touching his eyes as well.

“Now’s not the time for games, Gerard! I was honest with you, so you be honest with me. I see the way you look at her, talk about her when she’s not around, and think I’m ok with it. You practically worship the ground she walks on. So I screw up one time, and you swoop in to save the day. That’s not how it works, buddy.” Frank was standing chest to chest with him now. Though Frank was much shorter than Gerard, he could be very intimidating. I stood in shook, not knowing what to say or do. The tears had stopped momentarily, and I stared at them, horrified.

“Yeah, I care about her. I would never hurt her the way you did. You don’t even fucking see how perfect she is and how good she is to you, the way she puts you on a pedestal, and you’re willing to throw all that away, for what? You don’t deserve her and you didn’t--” Gerard stopped short and I saw him falter slightly. I saw a smirk creep up on Frank’s face. It scared me how evil he looked right now. I wasn’t aware of what Frank was capable of until this moment.

“What Gerard? I don’t deserve her like I didn’t deserve Vee?”

Now I was really confused. There she was again. Vee. I still didn’t know who she was and I don’t think this is how I wanted to find out.

“Fuck you.” Gerard spat. Frank’s smirk didn’t leave his face.

“You had her and she still came to me. I never touched her and I tried to tell her what a great guy you were, but no. She wanted me. It was always me.” He growled the last part. My own words echoed in my head, and I shivered. I didn’t know who this was. This wasn’t Frank. I don’t know how much of it was alcohol and how much of it was true. I was terrified of this Frank. Heartless and cruel. Gerard and Frank were supposed to be best friends and this was happening. I didn’t know what to think. It was sinking in that if things ever worked out with Frank, we would never be the same again. My mind wouldn’t let me process it though.

While my mind was racing, I didn’t realize the crowd that had gathered to watch this play out. I didn’t hear what Gerard had said but the next thing I knew, he had lunged forward, sending his fist straight into the side of Frank’s face, knocking him to the ground. Frank quickly stood back up and jumped after Gerard, swinging wildly. After a beat, my brain caught up to what was happening around me and I cried out to both of them.

“Stop it!” I tried to jump in between them, but I felt someone holding me back. I ripped at the hands in attempt to loosen their grip as I watched Gerard and Frank beat each other mercilessly. I watched as Frank threw one punch into Gerard’s stomach, sending him flying in to the side of the house. Frank had him pinned now, sending punch after punch all over Gerard’s body. I finally broke through the crowd of people and ran over to them, yelling. “Frank! Gerard! God damn it!” I tried to grab Frank’s arm to stop him from beating Gerard. I saw Gerard look up from his ass kicking and looked right into my eyes.

“Angela, no!” He grunted, trying to lean forward and push me out of the way but it was too late. I saw Frank’s fist come back and collide with the side of my head, sending me to the ground hard. As I fell, I heard gasps and curses all around me, but the next thing I felt was worse than the punch. I felt the other side of my head collide with something hard on the ground. I heard Frank and Gerard’s muffled voices, along with some distant chatter. I felt hands on me, lifting or shaking me, I couldn’t tell. Everything was spinning around me. I looked from Frank’s concerned face to Gerard’s before everything went black.