Kings and Queens of Promise

As we pulled up to the beach, we could hear ‘Dirty Little Secret’ by All-American Rejects playing. I nervously stepped out of the truck, feeling the sand between my toes. Jack appeared at my side, smiling at me as he entwined his fingers with mine.

“I am so nervous,” I voiced.

“Don’t worry, Em. If Pierre bugs you, I’ll get Jared to beat the hell outta him,” Alex said before Jack could. I chuckled.

“If only you could do it yourself,” I teased.

“Well...I can’t help it. I’m a weakling,” he sighed.

“Don’t worry, Alex, we still love you,” Jack promised. Then, we made our way to the beach.

“Hey, you made it,” Jared grinned when he saw me. “Pierre’s not here yet.”

“Freaking mind-reader,” I grumbled.

“No, I just figured you’d be worried about that. I’ve gotten better at blocking out people’s thoughts.”

“Good. Keep practicing,” I smiled. Jared grimaced, but let the matter drop. “So, where’s the birthday boy?”

“Getting hammered, of course,” said a familiar voice.

“Hi, Matt,” I smiled as Mr. M Shadows greeted me, pulling me into a hug.

“How’ve you been?”

“Fine,” I replied readily. I had rehearsed this in front of my mirror many times.

“How are you doing with...everything?”

“I’m doing fine. I showed up here, didn’t I?” I asked breezily.

“Yes, you are. And looking spectacular, at that.” Jack’s arm came around me and Matt looked amused. How long has this been going on?”

“About a month.”

“Ah. So you’re doing better than fine,” he smirked suggestively. I blushed slightly, sidestepping him and Jack.

“I’m going to find Jimmy,” I informed them before escaping. I was still a little uncomfortable around everyone and I was trying to see where Alex had gone. I finally found Jimmy, at the makeshift bar by the cabana.

“Happy Birthday, man,” I said, patting his arm.

“Emerson!” he practically shouted, pulling me into a painful hug. “You’ve been MIA! Nice to see you out and about.”

“Yeah,” I replied uncomfortably. “Are you enjoying your party?”

“Hell yes,” he beamed.

“When doesn’t he enjoy a party?” chuckled Johnny.

“When there’s no alcohol,” came a sickening voice behind me. “Em, I haven’t talked to you since before Christmas. How are you?”

“Drop dead,” I mumbled, hurrying away.

“Em!” his voice called, but I ignored him, hurrying for the ladies’ room. I slammed the door on him, but not before I caught a glimpse of his face: those chocolate brown eyes, slight stubble on his face, and hair a greasy mess. In short: a broken man. “Em, come on. I’m sorry about what I did. So sorry.”

“You used me!” I shouted through the door.

“I know. I know that, and I’m sorry. It was the biggest mistake of my life. I mean, I admit that I enjoyed being with you-” I cringed here- “but it was wrong of me to compel you into doing it and I apologize.”

“Apology not accepted, now go away!”

“Em, please-”

“Hey, man, she said go away, so go!” I heard Jared demanded.

“Damn, Jare. What’s gotten into you? Since when are you assertive?”

“Since you fucked with my best friend’s emotions.”

“Whoa, Jared, just calm down-”

“Don’t use your emotion control on me, Pierre!” Jared shouted angrily. “I’m only going to say this once: when Em is ready to forgive you, she’ll let you know. So, until then, just stay the fuck away from her.”

“Fine,” Pierre said after a long silence. After a few moments, there was a gentle knock on the door.

“Em? Are you okay?” Jared asked tentatively.

“It’s okay,” I said, opening the door. I fell into his arms, fighting back the tears that were filling my eyes. “Thank you.”

“Shh, shh. It’s okay, Em,” he said gently, stroking my hair as he held me, my head nestled in the crook of his neck. “He’s not going to bother you again.” His scent overwhelmed me and I instantly felt comforted. His strong arms held me close against his muscular chest, safe, like he knew just what to do to make me feel better. Which he probably does, I reminded myself.

“Jared? Jared, what happened?” came Jack’s voice from nearby.

“Pierre wouldn’t leave her alone,” Jared said, releasing me so that Jack could take me in his arms. I wrapped my arms around his skinny waist, pressing my face against his chest. He smelled slightly like alcohol, which made me want to drink.

“I’m here, don’t worry,” Jack said quietly to me.

“I’m fine,” I murmured, pushing myself away from him. “Just forget about it and...let’s just enjoy the party.”

“Are you sure?” Jared asked. I nodded and Jack let go of me.

“Come on,” he said, linking our fingers together. “Let’s hit the bar.”

“She’s trying not to drink, Jack,” Jared reminded him.

“Well, I didn’t say she had to drink, God,” he exclaimed.

“Um, how about a dance?” I asked him.

“I’m, uh, not a big dancer,” Jack said, kicking some sand.

“Yeah, you know how clumsy Jack is,” boomed a loud voice behind me. My grip on Jack’s hand tightened as we both turned to face Syn. “I, however, would gladly dance with you.” I hesitated: a slow dance with Syn was not at the top of my ‘things I’d enjoy’ list. “Come on, Em. We need to talk.”

“Fine,” I replied, letting go of Jack’s hand.

“Em...” Jared started.

“It’s okay,” I assured him, taking the hand Syn offered me.

“So, how are you doing?” he asked.

“I’m okay,” I shrugged.

“I guess that now you’re Jack’s little Barakitten, huh?” he chuckled.

“He asked me out last month, yes,” I said irritably.

“Was it terribly, sickeningly romantic? Did he swoop you into his arms and lay one on ya before telling you ‘Oh, Emerson. You are my fire, my one desire. You‘re the only one for me.’” he joked.

“Actually, Jack’s not all that romantic, and did you just quote the Backstreet Boys? Syn, you’re a freak,” I laughed.

“You can call me Brian,” he smiled. Wait, Syn? Smiling? Where was the usual cocky smirk? “And Jack? Not romantic? Who knew?”

“Shut up. I suppose you think you can do better?” I teased as Brian took me in his arms and began to sway with the music.

“Maybe, but Jack might hurt himself trying to hurt me for charming away his girl.”

“Ha ha,” I said dryly. “Has anyone ever told you that you’re full of yourself?”

“Many times,” Syn Brian chuckled. “So, about Zacky’s birthday party...”

“Please don’t defend him,” I said. “He hurt me, and it’s going to take more than just an apology to fix.”

“I wasn’t going to apologize for him, I wanted to apologize for me,” he said. Shocked, I looked up into his face to see if he was serious. “I saw what was going on between you and Pierre from the start and I just let it happen. I should have put a stop to it, but I didn’t and it was for stupid, selfish reasons. I let him hurt you because I wanted you. It was incredibly wrong, but I figured that, if he hurt you, it would be easier for me to swoop in and make my move while you were vulnerable. It was wrong and I know that. This entire mess was my fault and I hope you can find it in you heart of hearts to forgive me.”

By now, we weren’t moving at all, I was just standing in his arms, staring up at him with disbelief.

“Wow,” I breathed, gazing up into Syn Brian’s eyes. He was gazing down at me intently, waiting for my response. “I...I don’t know what to say. I guess I forgive you.”

“Well then,” Brian smiled. “I hope you’ll forgive me for this, too.”

“Wha-” Before I could finish my question, Brian had kissed me. In a moment of complete and utter shock, I kissed him back -he was a great kisser- before I realized.

What was I doing?!

I had a boyfriend!

So, why was I kissing Brian?

Oh, crap, what if Jack is watching me kiss Brian?!

“Brian, stop, Jack might see!” I exclaimed, pushing Brian away.

“And where is he, huh? At the bar, oblivious to the rest of the world. He may have his romantic moments, but he isn’t the same guy as he was when you guys were teens. He’s burdened by his secrets and he’s not going to stop drinking, like you and Alex have. He may be funny and sweet, but if you want someone romantic and passionate...well, you won’t find that with Jack. He’s still a kid, but you, Em. You’re a woman. A gorgeous, talented woman and you deserve a man.”

“Brian, stop,” I said quietly, trying to step away. Instead of letting me go, his arms tightened around me, pulling me against him. “Brian, please stop.”

“I can give you more than he can, Em,” Brian said, laying his hand on the side of my face. His thumb lightly stroked my cheek and I found myself unable to recognize the man who was in front of me. Who was this Brian, and what had he done with Syn? In the sunset, he looked as gorgeous as ever, his chocolate eyes sparkling in the orange light.

What happened to the jerk he had been? The perverted, cocky, stuck-up man he’d always been?

“Let me go, Brian,” I said, finally managing to pull away from him. Somehow, it took all my strength to walk away from him.

My first thought was to go tell Jack what happened, but I hesitated. I knew instantly what it was: I was feeling guilty for that brief moment when Syn Brian had kissed me and I had given in. I sighed, trying to shake all the confusion out of my head. Instead of going to Jack, I went to Jared.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asked when he saw me, offering me an icee. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“It’s nothing,” I said, looking away from him. “Will you stay with me? I don’t want to be alone here, what with all the predators around.”

“Yeah, alright,” he said, looking at me pointedly. Of course he could see in my thoughts what had just happened. “Do you want me to do something about him?”

“No,” I sighed. “Just keep him away from me for now.”

“I can do that,” he nodded, wrapping his arm around my shoulders protectively.

“Where’s-”

“Alex is at the buffet and Jack’s at the bar.”

“I was afraid of that.”

“I tried to deter him, but he’s a problem drinker.”

“What problems?” I asked, alarmed.

“Nothing you did,” Jared assured me. “He just hates himself for being different and he chooses to forget about that by drinking. I’d avoid him for now: he can be an angry drunk.”

“Okay,” I sighed.

“Come on, cheer up. Just forget about stupid Syn and drunk Jack and sleazy-P. We’re at a party, so let’s party.”

“Hey, everyone, it’s time for the cake!” shouted Matt, running past. I put on a smile and grabbed Jared’s hand, hurrying to the table where Jimmy was beaming at a huge cake that was a to-scale model of a kick drum. Once everyone’s attention was held, we sang the customary ‘Happy Birthday’ and Jimmy cheered us all on, ultimately ending our chorus by smashing Johnny’s face into the side of the cake. When the cake was cut, Matt handed Jimmy that piece, which caused him to cheer, “I GOT JOHNNY’S FACE CAKE!”

“Come on,” Jared said when we done with our cake. “Let’s dance.” Without letting me answer, he pulled me out to the dance floor (they had set up a floor space, so we wouldn’t have to dance in the sand) as one of my favorite Tokio Hotel songs came on.

“I love this song!” I shouted over the music. I wasn’t the best dancer, but with Jared leading, I felt graceful and talented. Our dancing was simple and quick-paced, and just plain fun. Jared had me giggling with delight the entire time, even though we were both pretty terrible. We danced to two more upbeat songs (“Send My Love To The Dancefloor” [Cobra Starship] and “Under Pressure” [My Chemical Romance and The Used]) before an especially heavy song, “Love Addict” came on.

With a devilish grin, Jared grabbed my hips and began to grind on me. Somehow, even though anyone else would have pissed me off, it didn’t bother me. In fact, I rather enjoyed it. I could only guess it was because I was so comfortable with him and it was nice to know he didn’t expect anything from me, like Brian or Jack. So, I grinded back. As I moved against him, Jared’s mouth fell open -probably from shock- and his eyes seemed to glaze over for a moment.

The song was over all-too soon, but I laughed as I realized that Jared had a little problem in his pants.

“Maybe you should go take care of that, Jare,” I chuckled.

“Um, yeah,” he said, face rather flushed as he turned away. “Oh, uh, Alex is by the water. You might wanna hang with him, if you wanna avoid Pierre and Syn.”

“Thanks,” I said, watching as he started to vanish into the crowd. “Wait!” I called. Jared turned back to me. “You know we’re just friends, right?”

“I know,” he smiled, “but who wouldn’t get turned on by a hot girl dancing with them? I’m still a man, Em.” Taking a deep breath and wiping some sweat from my forehead, I nodded and went to find Alex. “Hey,” I smiled, sitting down next to Alex once I finally found him. He was sitting at the water’s edge, watching as the waves splashed over his toes.

“Hey,” he sighed. We were silent for a moment before he spoke again. “I trust you, Em, but I wanna know: what are you doing?”

“What do you mean?”

“You let Syn kiss you. And then, instead of going to tell Jack, you go and dirty dance with Jared?”

“I know. I don’t know what I was thinking, Alex. I just...Jared’s just a great friend. He knows that. And I didn’t expect Brian to kiss me, he just did and he...he said some things that really made me think.”

“Are you not happy with Jack?” Alex asked, looking at me.

“I was,” I said, sniffling.

“Oh,” he replied quietly. He reached over and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him.

“I don’t know what to do, Alex,” I whispered. “I thought I loved Jack, but he’s so different than I thought. He’s still a...kid, y’know?”

“Is that what Syn said?”

“Yes. And he’s right, Alex. Jack’s great, but when it comes right down to it...he’d rather be goofy all the time, and I need someone who is that, but can be serious when needed. And I don’t need someone totally mushy, but...a little romance once in awhile...is that too much to ask?”

“No, it’s not.”

“I’m so confused,” I sighed, tears filling my eyes as I choked on a sob.

“Shh,” Alex whispered, holding me close. “I know, Em. I know.”