I Am Invincible

-*~- Three weeks later -~*-

I’ve been hanging out with Zach and Rachael quite a bit lately, both at school and after school, too. It’s a nice change getting away from all of Emilie’s new friends, and even away from Emilie herself. She’s become obsessed with her image and it’s really pissing me off. She’s definitely not my best friend anymore; and I don’t mean that in the “you’re mean, I’m not your friend anymore” way, I mean that in the way that she’s changed so much that I don’t even know her anymore. I miss her. A lot. I just want my best friend back, the best friend who isn’t suddenly obsessed with trying to get in my pants every time she sees me. I asked her once why she kept trying to force her virginity on me and she replied with “If I lose it before everyone else, I get higher status with Sarah, even higher than Madison and they’ve been friends since they were in diapers.” Wow, what is the world coming to? Seriously, going to dump your best friend for someone else just because they’ve slept with someone? This is why I’m glad I’m not a girl.

But the only thing is; I keep acting like one whenever I’m around Zach. No matter what he says to me, he can always make me blush and stutter and just generally make an idiot out of myself. I know for a fact now that what I feel for him is definitely not just friendly, but something more. And I’m freaking scared. I don’t know how my family would react if I told them that I like a guy. I mean, I’m sure they’d be okay with it, seeing as my mom’s two best friends are gay (and together) and everyone’s cool with it, and not to mention some of the stuff dad and Jack get up to on stage, but still, it worries me. And I don’t even know what Zach feels about me. Sometimes he gets heaps flirty and then other times he talks to me like I’m just his friend and it’s confusing the hell out of me. I’ve tried to ask Rach about it, but she always mysteriously has to go somewhere whenever I bring up the subject. I know she’s hiding something, but I can’t figure it out. I can’t get Zach alone to ask him either, although I’m not entirely sure I want to. What if he doesn’t like me back and I just end up looking like an idiot in front of him?

I was thinking about all this during one lunch time that Ihad escaped from Emilie was hanging out with Zach and Rachael when I was suddenly aware of two people calling my name. I blinked and looked up, meeting Zach’s chocolate brown eyes and then blushing furiously, seeing as I had just been thinking about how I liked him.

“You okay?” he asked, concerned. I nodded. He continued, “So, Rach was telling us that she can’t hang this afternoon...”
“Yeah? How come?” I questioned as I looked over at her.
Rach smiled brightly, “Someone’s booked me for a photo shoot. Paid and everything!”
I gasped. Rachael was a budding photographer and had been trying for ages to get a photography business up and running.
“Rach! That’s awesome! Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” I exclaimed, and jumped up to hug her.
“I only just found out. The person rang during study hall. They’d told me they were considering me about a week ago but only confirmed just then,” she finished with a squeal, and jumped around a bit, clapping her hands.
Zach chuckled. “So anyway, as I was saying, it’ll just be you and me this arvo. Is that cool with you?” he smiled at me.
“Y-yes!” I squeaked, then cleared my throat and tried again, “Yeah. That’s cool.”
“Awesome. I think Ryan’s working, so we’ll have the apartment to ourselves.” Ryan is Zach’s housemate. I’m not entirely sure why, but Zach’s parents kicked him out a couple of years ago, and when he befriended Ryan, they decided to rent an apartment together and split costs. They both work; Ryan full-time – he’s 18 and has left school – and Zach on weekends at the local shopping mall selling ice-creams. It’s pretty cool. If I ever come and visit Zach when he’s working, I get free ice-cream. He’s awesome. Geez, I sound like a bloody fan girl.

~~~

When the bell went signalling the end of last period, I jumped out of my desk and pretty much ran to my locker to get rid of all the stuff I didn’t need with me for when I went to Zach’s. Just as I closed my locker door (quickly, otherwise everything would’ve fallen out, seeing as I shoved it in, in a less-than-organised way), Emilie sauntered up to me with a huge, cheesy grin. I noticed Sarah, Madison and a couple of others standing behind her; probably to watch the Cameron and Emilie Eating Each Others’ Faces in The Hallway Show. It’s disgusting, really. But I played along anyway, because even though I’m less than impressed with Emilie at the moment, I don’t want her to get hurt by her so-called friends just dumping her cold turkey. I wrapped her in a hug and she squeezed back tightly, making sure to crash her hips into mine (obviously to get a reaction from her ‘friends’). She pulled away slightly, and then put her hands in my back pockets and leaned down (only very slightly; I’d grown again) to kiss me with a rather large amount of force. As usual, after a couple of seconds, I pulled away and smiled at her. She smiled back.

“I’ll see tomorrow, baby. I have my guitar lesson,” Emilie told me, even though I already knew that. She’s been having guitar lessons on the same day for nearly as long as I’d known her. “I love you, miss you already.”
“Yep, bye babe.” Emilie gave me a Look that said ‘...and?’ and I sighed. “And I love you, too.”
She kissed me passionately one last time and then detached herself from me, and walked away giggling with her friends.

“Hey!” someone said in my ear and I jumped violently and squeaked. Zach chuckled, “Calm down, Cam. It’s just me. Let’s go.”
Zach led me to a red Mazda RX-7. He unlocked it and told me to jump in the front passenger seat. I obliged. When he turned the motor on, some music came out fairly loudly from the speaker, and I laughed a bit. Zach turned it down so that it was background music and looked at me.
“Sorry about that. I’m pretty sure you’d be tired of All Time Low by now, right?” he said with a smile.
I laughed again, “A little. But it’s cool that you like them”. Feeling bold, I added, “You should come over to my house some time and meet them. They’d like you,” I said, blushing.
“Yeah? Do they all live at your house or something? That’s what you made it sound like just then.”
I shook my head, “No, only dad officially lives in my house, but Jack’s always around somewhere in the house and sometimes Zack and Rian drop by. So you might be lucky and meet them all at once.”
“Sweet. Well, let me know a day that I can come over and we can hang out,” he said, smiling. He turned the car into a small car park, found his spot and parked. “Here we are.”
We both got out and he locked the doors, and then led me through the front door of the building and up three flights of stairs. After unlocking the door to his apartment, Zach stuck his head in the door, “Ryan?” he called, but received no answer so he pushed the door open the rest of the way and allowed me to pass him, him following soon after me.
“Have a seat. Would you like something to drink? Something to eat?” he asked me. I thought for a second.
“I’ll just have water please.” He left the room, presumably to go into the kitchen and I sat down, placing my head in my hands, half-hyperventilating. I’m in Zach’s house, alone, with Zach. I didn’t know whether I should tell him I like him or wait and see what happens or just ask him if I should tell ‘someone’ I like them or-
I was pulled out of my thoughts when Zach returned. He put two glasses of water down on the coffee table and went back into the kitchen. He came back a second later with a large packet of Doritos and a jar of salsa.
“Just in case you did get hungry,” he explained. “You’re so skinny, you should really eat more.”
I playfully glared at him, “You sound like my mother,” I grumbled.

He laughed and threw himself down on the couch next to me. A bit too close to be considered comfortable. His elbow brushed my leg as he leant over to grab his glass of water and I shuddered. Zach obviously felt it because he looked at me, concerned. I looked at him with what I hoped was a confused expression, and he looked away.
It was quiet for a few minutes before Zach cleared his throat. I peered at him, waiting for him to talk.
“So...um, you and Emilie? You seem to be getting...closer.” Why did he have to bring that up? Whywhywhywhywhy?
“You...um. You saw us this afternoon?”
He chuckled bitterly, “Who didn’t?” I was confused at his tone. It was almost...sad.
“What’s wrong?” I asked.
“Nothing...I... It’s stupid, forget I said anything.”
“No, tell me. You’re upset,” I pressed, “Please?”
“Cameron, just forget it!” he snapped. I went quiet and looked at my hands, which were sitting in my lap.
“I’m sorry, Cam. I...I just... I don’t...” I looked up as he sighed heavily and looked me straight in the eyes. “Please don’t hate me for this...”
“Don’t hate you for what? You haven’t done anyth-” I was cut off by Zach gently placing his lips onto mine, in what definitely should have been my first kiss. Not only did my brain fall out of my head; my heart leapt into my throat so fast that I’m surprised it didn’t jump straight into Zach’s mouth, my entire body shook so badly that if I had been standing, I would have collapsed and my mouth felt like it was burning where Zach’s touched it.
Approximately 5 seconds had passed when Zach pulled away and stood up.
“I’m sorry. You probably want to go home now. I...I’ll take you home. I’m so sorry. I-”
I cut him off, “Shut up.”
“W-what? Look, I get it, you hate m-”

“I said, shut up.” And I stood up, wrapped one arm around his waist, grabbed his neck with the other and dragged his head down to my level, and kissed him. After a couple of seconds of what I assumed to be initial shock, Zach slowly placed his arms around me and picked me up so that I didn’t break his neck. I wrapped my legs around his waist as I moved my arms to go around his neck. We kissed for a couple of minutes before Zach pulled away and looked me in the eyes, the two of us breathing heavily.

“W-what was that?” he asked incredulously, as if he couldn’t believe that actually happened.
I took a deep breath. “I like you, stupid. What did you think that meant?”

Zach placed me back on the ground and sat down on the couch. He patted the seat next to him, motioning for me to take a seat. I did so and he looked at me seriously.
“You have a girlfriend,” he stated bluntly. “How can you like me?”
I frowned, “Don’t you like me?” I whispered and looked away. My eyes filled up with tears. I knew it. He doesn’t like me and now I’ve made a fool of myself. Good going, moron.
“No! Cameron... I...I like you. A lot. Too much probably. But... you gotta explain some stuff to me. A-about Emilie, I mean...aren’t you...y’know...doing...stuff?” he asked, awkwardly.
“Doing stuff...?” Then I got it. “OH! OMG no! I...shit. No.” I can’t believe he thought me and Emilie were...ugh. Just...no.

“...But then...?”
I cut him off, “Yeah, I really gotta explain. But it’s complicated...” and I began my story of how Emilie and I ‘got together’. The truth: that she wanted to be popular and that she needed a boyfriend and how she pleaded with me to pretend to be her boyfriend. That I didn’t really like her as anything more than a friend. Everything. It took a long time.