Drop Dead.

Gel and Tee are playing with the cards Carter gave them yesterday. While they happily do that, I pace like a bloody lunatic. Back-and-forth, back-and-forth, I walk with my hands behind my back and eyes fixated on the ground because I know if I look up to see Gel or the old clock hanging on the wall, I’ll panic.

Today they’re coming. Carter is bringing those people, the ones who have offered to adopt Gel and I if we would like. Carter has already promised me that if I go with them and they don’t want me that he won’t send me to a home. I don’t necessarily believe him but Gel does and if she wants to take this chance, the chance of finding a home then so be it. I’m doing it for Gel.

My heart is racing inside my chest. It’s beating so rapidly that I’m frightened it’ll burst right out of my chest. Sweat is forming and making its way down my face while my entire body trembles with fear and excitement.

I’ve lived on the streets for so long that I’ve never even thought of finding a new home. I’ve never, even in my wildest of day dreams, believed that I might find a place to call home. A place where I can sleep in peace. A place where I can eat, bathe and keep warm during the winter. I haven’t had a place like that in a long time and thinking about receiving one is just…

Crazy.

Just as I take in a deep breath a familiar voice shouts for us, “Gel, Jinx, come down here please!”

Gel is up and gone faster than the speed of light. I can feel Tee’s eyes on me and I can hear Gel speaking animatedly below but I don’t move. My body is completely still like a statue and I just can’t move, not even if I wanted to.

Prince…what would you do? Would you run down those steps with a smile on your face, more excited than you have ever been? Or would you walk down hesitantly, watching to make sure that you can trust them? What should I do, Prince? I don’t know. I just don’t know.

I feel a hand on my shoulder and I look behind me to see Tee. He’s smiling, showing off his crooked teeth and most would grimace at the sight but I smirk because he’s trying to reassure me. Taking in a deep breath, I listen to what he has to say, “It’s a chance, man but…this may be the only chance so take it…not only for Gel but for you and Prince.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and nod. Slowly, I make my way down the steps and I can see the couple talking happily with Gel. She’s holding onto the stuffed animal she got for Christmas and Carter is standing beside them with a pleased smile.

When he sees me he gestures with his hand for me to come over. This gesture brings the man and woman's attention to me. Both are young, unbelievably young. Neither can be a day over 35. The man has messy midnight black hair and pale blue eyes. His wife is the opposite with nearly white blonde hair and nearly black eyes.

Gel squeals and runs to me. Her small hands wrap themselves around my own and she looks up at me with pure joy and excitement in her eyes. She drags me over without permission and introduces me, “Jinx, this is Kenny and Mimi. Kenny, Mimi, this is my bubby Jinx.”

“Hello, Jinx, it’s nice to meet you.” Mimi smiles sweetly, holding out a hand for me to take. I look at it, skeptically and I think for a moment that I should just scoff and walk away but I can’t give them a bad first impression so I reach out and hesitantly take her hand. We shake, for a moment before Kenny does the same.

When our hands touch, I look down and stare at the way his hand takes my own and on his wrist I see them, the tattoos. They’re initials and one of them is far too familiar. Without thinking, I turn his hand over and stare at them. He chuckles, sadly, and asks, “You know any of them?”

“W.M. is William McKinley’s Foster Home,” I whisper more to myself than him.

“Correct.”

“You’re a foster kid?” Gel asks, her eyes wide and shocked just like my own. We both watch as Kenny takes his hand away from my own and he nods.

“Yeah.”

“So you’re one of us!” Gel exclaims and this only seems to make her more excited and now even I am a little excited because Kenny is like us. He was once a kid who didn’t matter, was nothing more than an unwanted child.

Maybe he never lived on the streets like we did but he was in the system. He understands what it’s like to be in it. That makes me feel just a little bit better knowing that I’m with someone who understands what it feels like.

“As soon as Ken heard me mention you two he demanded to meet you,” Carter speaks, catching all of our attention. “Said that you might feel more comfortable with someone that understood what it was like.”

Gel nods and as she does Mimi smiles and asks, “So what do you two say? Would you like to come and stay with us for a little while?”

“Of course!” Gel exclaims and she looks at me with pleading eyes. I sigh and shove my hands in my pockets. Shrugging, I grumble out an agreement and this makes Gel happy. She wraps her arms around me and giggles happily.

Mimi is squealing too and she wraps her arms around Gel’s shoulder. The two of them start heading out of the warehouse and we all watch them as they do. Carter smiles reassuringly at me before heading off to talk with Tee, leaving Kenny and I.

I look at him and he smirks. “Ready to go, Jinx?”

I bite my lip and nod. Following Kenny out the door, I take one last glance around, taking in everything from the old man who smells like vomit lying on the ground to the pipes running through the ceilings. I may not ever come back here to live or maybe I’ll return within the week.

I don’t know but I know that I’m scared. I’m scared shitless. I don’t want to be rejected by this family like I have been everywhere else. I say I don’t care what people think of me but after a while it begins to hurt. It begins to beat one down more and more until there’s nothing left.

I sigh and pray to whatever being out there to make this work. Please, let this work.