The Way It Played Out

Bill had picked me up from the hospital this time, and we drove in silence. He was bringing me back to his place.
“You’re so lucky Joe and Brendon came looking for Pete.” Bill said softly as he cut the engine in front of his house. Yeah, he’d finally gotten out of that ‘fucking apartment’.
“Bad luck, maybe.” I mumbled, not looking at him. I wasn’t looking forward to calling Pete, but Joe and Brendon had said they would if I didn’t do it by tomorrow.
“Why would you say that?” Bill asked, jerking me out of my reverie.
“Because I don’t want to deal with anything anymore.” I sighed, tired of everything. I wanted to go sleep it off. In a coffin.
Bill met my gaze, sad. “What are you so tired of?”
“Everyone.” I mumbled, staring out the dark windshield, then climbing out of his car.
“What’s that mean?” Bill asked, following suit and catching up as I started to slink down his driveway, towards the sidewalk. I wasn’t staying here.
“Everyone’s sick of me. Everyone only stops by because they’d feel guilty if I finally managed to kill myself. Like, ‘we knew that was coming, why didn’t we stop her?’.” I sighed. “I’m sick of me.”
“We’re not sick of you.” Bill insisted, trying to head me off before I made it to the sidewalk. He knew if I got away, I wasn’t coming back.
Then it would be his fault.
“And how are you sick of yourself?”
“I’m just a tool. I’m there when it’s convenient. Nobody likes me for me. And I just go with it. I let everyone walk all over me and use me however they want to. I can’t take it anymore. I don’t wanna be used and tossed aside anymore.” I made it to the sidewalk and had just turned in the general direction of Pete’s place when Bill’s hand closed around my good wrist.
“You’re not just a tool to me.” He argued softly.
I gave Bill a sad, bitter look. “Please. You used me the most.” I tried to pull my wrist away from him, but he held on. For a skinny guy, he was strong.
“I know, and I’m sorry.” Bill said, which was the last thing I expected to her. It surprised me enough that I stopped fighting and turned to look at him.
“I know it was wrong, and I knew what we were doing would have consequences we wouldn’t want to face, but I sucked you into it anyway. But you were always my best friend. I really did tell you everything, and I’ve always needed you. I know I abandoned you, and I’m sorry. I was stupid. I am stupid.” Bill said, his eyes sincere. He’d always had honest eyes.
“I’ve really missed you for a long time.” Bill admitted.
I wanted to stay mad, I really did. But I’d missed him, and I needed him.
“You just missed getting fucked.” I muttered, and it took Bill a second to figure out I was teasing. “And who’s better than a fucked up girl?”
Bill laughed, pulling me into a hug and holding me close. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”
“Um, hey Pete.” I said nervously into the phone. Bill gave me an encouraging thumbs up, and I grinned weakly back before going outside to try to save him from the explosion.
“Hey My. What’s up?” I could tell Pete was grinning.
“Yeah, well, um, it’s a long story.” I stuttered out.
“Why do I feel like it ends in the hospital?” Pete asked, his tone quickly turning dangerous.
“Well, it doesn’t end there.” I said, but it sounded more like a question.
“Explain. Now.”
“Yeah, well, Bill came to see me ‘cause he was upset about breaking up with Nova because she cheated on him and I cheered him up and then I slit my wrists when he left but Joe and Brendon found me and said they’d rat me out tomorrow if I didn’t call you tonight- which they’ll be doing anyway- and Bill said he missed me and we’re best friends again and he decided I’m moving in with him.” I blurted out in one breath.
There was a moment of silence from Pete, and I started to worry.
“Pete? You there?” I asked tentatively.
“I’m trying to decide if I should scream at Joe and Brendon or break Bill’s skinny little neck first.” Pete growled.
“Pete!” I yelped, glad Bill was inside where he couldn’t hear anything.
“Amaya, you’re not fucking him again, are you?” Pete asked shrewdly.
“No! We’re just friends!” I replied honestly. “That’s all. I don’t wanna be used anymore.” I finished quietly.
Pete sighed. “I trust you. And you know you can always stay at my place, no mater what, ok?” Pete reminded me gently.
“Yeah. Thanks, Pete.” I said softly.
“My?” Pete said suddenly.
“Yeah?” I asked, wondering if I should be worried.
“I’d miss you, if you died.” Pete informed me somberly.
“I’m never going to try again Pete. I promise.”
“I tried, once. I swallowed all my Atavan.” Pete confessed quietly.
I blinked, silent for a second. “Pete?”
“Yeah?”
“I’d miss you if you died.”

||She didn't choose this role, but she'll play it and make it sincere so you cry, you cry (give me a break). But they believe it from the tears and the teeth right down to the blood at her feet…||