Falling For You

It'd been about a week since I met Raphiel and I had pretty much forgotten about him. I was finally home and asleep in my own bed. I didn't want to think. My brain needed a break. I was falling into darkness as my dream started and already knew what I would see. Every time someone dies in my dream I see their grave until someone else comes along. I slowly walked to the gates of the graveyard and-

Beep! Beep! Beep My eyes snapped open and I hit my alarm clock as hard as I could to shut it off. Stupid freaking clock. I guess it's kind of good it went off. Now I don't have to finish that dream. I sat up and stretched, wincing when my elbows popped. Slowly, I climbed out of the comfort of my blankets and walked downstairs to the living room after getting dressed.

I walked through the dull living room of our house and followed the smell of pancakes to the kitchen. This was routine for my mom. Every morning, rain or shine, she gets up and makes pancakes. Literally. One time there was a hurricane and my mom found this battery powered hot plate and made pancakes on it. It's kind of weird if you ask me. She always puts fruit in mine and since Alison loved whipped cream, my mom cut hers into small chunks covered in it. "Morning mom. How'd you sleep?" I asked sitting on my usual bar stool as she set my food in front of me.

"Fine. What about you honey? Are you feeling better?" I knew my mom was faking her cheerful act by the way she answered. My mom never says fine. Always super, awesome, great, or just flat out bad, never fine. I wanted so badly to tell her that it was okay. Nobody can be happy the day after their child's funeral. But instead of upsetting her I played along as she cooked more pancakes.

"I'm okay mom. I told you I feel better already. I'm not as tired anymore. I think I was just stressed, but it's all good now." I smiled. I'd been sleeping a lot since I got out of the hospital but I couldn't help it. Not only was I worn out mentally from constantly thinking about why a angel was in my room, but I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't go downstairs. There's this weird uncomfortable atmosphere at home. i think if I stay another day I'll go insane. I'm so happy I get to go to school on Monday.

"That's great Avery." I watched as my mom cooked in silence and my eyes widened when I saw her cut up a pancake, spraying whipped cream on it when she finished. She put the chunks in Alison's old Strawberry Shortcake plate and set it on the counter next to hers. That's what my mom used to do every morning. She would make her food first then she would make Alison's food and show her that it was good by eating her own. She hasn't done it the past few days without Alison but I guess since it's the day after her funeral it made her think of her.

My eyes were glued to the plate, causing my mom to realize what she'd done once she sat down. "Mom. Are you okay?" I asked after she stared at the plate for almost a whole minute.

My mom got up abruptly, hitting her knees on the counter with a small laugh. "Oh silly me! I can't believe I did that!" She picked up the plate and even though there was a smile on her face, a tear slipped from her eyes as she walked to the sink.

I finished my pancakes quietly as my mom washed the familiar pink dish. I've never been good at comforting people. I don't know what to say when they cry so I just ate in silence until I was done. Finally after finishing, I stood up and looked over at my mom. "I'm going to take a walk."

"Okay honey. Be safe." My mom turned to look at me and I could tell she was trying not to cry. She hated for me to see her cry and she knew I didn't like seeing it.

I started walking towardfs the door in the living room and stopped for a moment. "Oh and mom?" I said turning around. "It's okay to cry. I miss her too." Saying that I walked out the door, not wanting to see the strongest women I know break down once again. I've heard her crying in her room every night since Alison died. It makes me feel terrible. I cried one time and I can't anymore. I really want to but I just can't knowing Alison isn't here to comfort me. I remember 3 months ago my boyfriend broke up with me and Alison was at my grandma's house.

I walked to my room and fell to my bed, sobs escaping my lips as I thought of all the good things about my relationship with James. Who knew he would cheat on me? We were so perfect together! When I saw him kissing that girl at the movies I just broke down and ran away. The next day at school he broke up with me.

I let myself continue crying as I heard footsteps and the door to my room open. My little sister padded over to my bed and stood next to me. "Sissy I'm home! Did you miss me?" She was oblivious to my crying until I looked up to greet her.

"Of course I did honey. I missed you s-so much." I cursed my voice for cracking because Alison noticed it the minute I let my words come out. She was a smart kid.

"Sissy what's wrong? Don't cry." Tears came to her eyes and she rubbed them away with the sleeves of her pink shirt that covered her hands. She crawled into bed next to me and started crying with me, causing me to snuggle into her.

After a while I realized she was crying harder then I was and I felt terrible. She must think I don't love her or something. I pulled her face up to look her in the eyes, totally forgetting why I was upset in the first place. I wiped her tears away and kissed her head smiling. "It's okay Ally. I'll be fine. Sissy just had a bad day."

She smiled through her tears and I pecked her head again, causing a small giggle to escape her lips. "So you're not mad at me?"

"I could never be mad at you. I love you."

She smiled at my words and grabbed my hand, pulling me from my room so we could go play with her toys. I never cried over James again. The next day I school I talked to him and we became friends once he apologized and explained why he did what he did. He was going to break it off the day before but I was sick and he didn't want to do it over the phone. He wanted to end it before his date. He felt bad because he liked another girl while we were together and decided it wasn't fair to stay with me and lead me on. I was mad about it but I understood. I would've done the same thing.

I smiled through my tears, much like Alison did and remembered how I got two best friends out of that. James and Kelly. I'm happy for him. They've been together ever since we broke up and they make the cutest couple at school.

I attempted to stop my tears as I let my feet lead my body, not knowing where they were bringing me. I smiled as I recognized the street I was on, Collin Drive. The street with the graveyard. My body knew I needed to see my sister.She always knows how to cheer me up. Even if she's under the ground.