Just to Live

For the past few Sundays, Zacky look care of Erika, taking her to places along with his nephew Gavin. They spent most of their days at the park, soaking in heavy doses of the Californian sunlight.

Tabitha didn’t know that. She most definitely didn’t know that Maria spent her Sundays with Roland on little dates here and there.

The one Sunday Tabitha had free; she excitedly took Erika down to the boardwalk where all the games and food were located. Rather than wasting money trying their luck on the games, Tabitha and Erika ate most of the snacks and comfort foods the vendors and stands had to offer. By the end of the day, Erika was asleep in Tabitha’s arms. Erika was so skinny even meek Tabitha could carry her without straining muscles.

Brian helped bring Erika up to her room when Tabitha reached the mansion. Afterwards, Brian and Tabitha walked into the living room where he surprised her with another bag of books. To this, Tabitha smiled exuberantly. Brian kissed the top of her head, telling her, “Enjoy.”

While holding the bag in her right hand, Tabitha walked into the kitchen where the other women were. One of them that Tabitha couldn’t remember ever talking to scoffed and made a snide comment. “Why do you get everything?”

Tabitha licked her lips sharply. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said automaton and subconsciously touched her necklace.

“See? They got you a fucking necklace and books! And for what? ‘Cause you got locked in the basement and ran away two times like a fucking idiot.”

“Do you wanna get locked in there for three weeks? It’s not fucking pleasant. And what I did is my business, not yours.”

Cursing wasn’t something Tabitha did. She felt like a bad person for saying hideous words, but it felt so good.

“Tell me how a little girl waltzes into this place and all of sudden all the damn attention goes to YOU!” the woman screeched.

“Are you jealous?” Tabitha asked simply.

“Jealous? You’re fucking funny. I bet you sucked their dicks like the little whore you are.”

The Barnes and Noble bag ended up on the tiled kitchen floor as Tabitha walked up to the woman and stared up at her with nothing with collective fury. “Sweetie, envy does not look cute on you. I didn’t do anything to make them like me. It’s not my fault you tried getting into their pants and got rejected. Now run along before I make you wish you never said a damn thing to me.”

The woman huffed and stomped her way stupidly to the stairs.

Vanessa sighed and gave Tabitha a scared look as everyone in the kitchen kept their mouths shut. “She’s right though. You’re getting showered with all these gifts…”

“You too? Don’t you get that I didn’t do anything to make them all of a sudden get me this stuff?” Tabitha pleaded.

“Are you sure? I mean, they accepted you again so willingly after you came back.”

At that point, Tabitha wanted to pull her hair out. Everyone was pointing out all the obvious points. They didn’t understand Tabitha’s point.

“Oh my god!” she cried. “They pity me. Don’t you fucking get that? I got the job in the first place ‘cause of that. I was forced to be here again ‘cause I almost died and my mom thought it’d be best to drag me back here. It’s all pity. They don’t like me because of who I am. All of this is because they feel sorry for me. I hate feeling pathetic, but guess who makes me feel that way? Everyone.”

Tabitha wiped away the tear tracks on her cheeks and ran up to her room. She wanted to leave again. And this time, she was going to get out of California.

Eleanor rose from her place at the table and shook her head. “How can all of you do that to her? You know how bad her life was and you’re all judging her for it. Does she judge you? Does she resent any of you? No, she doesn’t. You pushed her away anyways. Didn’t I teach you better than that?”

All the girls hung their heads in shame.

“But she gets everything,” one girl whispered.

“No, she doesn’t. Did you know she’s the reason we have Sunday off now? Matthew wanted to get to know her so he gave us all a day off and he even lets us go visit family. All the parties and dinners was because Matthew wanted to get to know her.

“You all talked about good treatment in the beginning. How can you make her look like the bad person? You should be thanking her.”

Several hours passed. Tabitha felt as lonely as ever and it depressed her. She didn’t know how everyone turned against her so quickly. Maybe she didn’t have real friends.

Although they hadn’t been on the best of terms, Tabitha wanted to talk to her mother. Even through their rough patches, she knew she could count on her mother to comfort her the way only a mother could. Maria was in her room when Tabitha walked in.

“Hey sweetie,” Maria smiled.

“Hey mom. Where’s Erika?” Tabitha instantly asked, knowing Erika was always with Maria.

“She’s with Zacky. He took her and his nephew to Chuck E. Cheese.”

“Oh…”

“I need to tell you something.”

“Okay.”

Tabitha sat down on the bed with Maria. She had hoped to spill her guts out to her mom about all her negative feelings, but she decided that she should wait until her mom told her whatever news she had.

“Tabitha,” Maria said, holding her daughter’s hand, “I’m going to live with your father!”

“What!”

“We’ve one on dates for the past few weeks and…Well, you know!”

“What about me?” Tabitha asked. Her bottom lip quivered.

“Sweetie, you’re 19. You can stay here with Matthew.”

Tabitha shot out of her seat and glared at her mother. Ah, there were those familiar feelings of anger.

“Excuse me? You think that just because he has some ridiculous feelings for me that I’ll willingly live with him? How could you?”

Maria frowned. Usually she would have yelled already. “Dear, I didn’t think you’d be so upset over this.”

“How could I not be? You’re abandoning me!”

“Tabitha no I-”

“Yes you are! You’re my mother! How could you leave me behind?!”

Tears struck her eyes and sobs exploded from her mouth as she ran out of the room and into someone. When Tabitha looked up, she couldn’t help but to grimace even more. Of course she had to see Matthew.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, seeing her tears and red nose.

She shook her head. She didn’t want to open her mouth in fear of sobbing again.

He sighed and held her hand. “I want to take you somewhere.” He eventually led her to his room. Inside the bathroom was a Jacuzzi. Without hesitation and permission, he threw her into the water, clothes on.

“What is wrong with you!” she screamed, trying to get out of the water. That only resulted in him pulling her hand again.

“Stop fighting and just relax. It’ll make you feel better,” he whispered. His usually rough voice sounded so gentle and soothing.

Tabitha closed her eyes and allowed the bubbling warm waters attack at her tense muscles. When she could differentiate the water from her tears, she opened her eyes and looked at Matthew. She laughed right in his face.

“What’s so funny?” he laughed back.

“We’re both in a tub of water with our clothes on. It’s stupid!”

“Well, yeah. I don’t think you want to be half naked in here with me anyways.”

She blushed and looked at the sleeve of her shirt.

“So can you tell me why you were crying?” he tried again.

“My mom,” she answered sadly. “She’s going to live with my dad and take Erika with her. She’s leaving me behind.”

“Oh shit.” Matthew took advantage of his long arms and hugged Tabitha to his body.

“Yeah,” she said, responding to the hug. “I feel so alone.”

“What’s so bad about staying here?”

“Well…nothing. But I wasn’t even considered in their life. It’s like I’m nothing but a stranger to them. It hurts. I don’t know what to do.”

“Hey.” He touched her cheek. “You should stay here. If you go I won’t see you and I’d rather see your pretty face every day.”

“Stop it…”

“Stop what? You how know much I like you. I can make you happy.”

“Matt, I’m scared.”

“Don’t be alright? I’ll help you,” he reassured.

He leaned down, close enough so that if he wanted to, he could kiss her. He looked at her eyes then her lips. He couldn’t deny the moment any longer so they kissed. She sighed through her nose, moving her hands up to his neck.

“See? Don’t be scared. I’ll take care of you,” he whispered.