Save the Day

Listen while you read: 'Critical' - Jonas Brothers

I woke up the next morning to some familiar music coming from the back room. I rolled out of my bunk to find the source when the events from last night flooded back into my consciousness. He got me to do it again, I knew it was going to happen as soon as he walked onto the bus. Every time I try and guard against it (whatever it is) and every time I fail. And the whole ‘soon’ thing was an understatement. I had to do it today or else Kevin would open his big mouth.

I sighed in exhaustion as I walked into the back room and heard the music coming from Uncle John’s laptop. My music – well technically it wasn’t mine per say, but it was the stuff I didn’t finish for the album. I only had three songs left to do truthfully, but Uncle John think it’s four. I’ve kept my favorite just so I can listen to it whenever I wanted, and that was the song Nick was listening to. The song was already starting the second verse when I got back there. I stayed in the archway between the ‘hallway’ and the back room as I watched and listened. Nick didn’t notice my presence, so his guard was completely down as he listened to my favorite song, to ‘Critical’.

Used to have everything figured out
But it’s different now
When you came, you saw, you conquered
My heart
It’s your laugh and your smile
Want to stay for a little while
I don’t want to go, I just want you
In my arms

This is critical
I am feeling helpless
So hysterical
And this can’t be healthy
I can’t eat or sleep
When you’re not with me
Baby, you’re the air I breathe
This is critical
Yeah
So stuck on you

Used to run and hide
Used to back out of love
But I can’t escape this time
Oh no

This is critical
I am feeling helpless
So hysterical
And this can’t be healthy
I can’t eat or sleep
When you’re not with me
You’re the air I breathe
This is critical, yeah
Baby this is critical
It’s so critical, yeah
And I like it
It’s so critical, it’s so critical
Yeah
So stuck on you

The song finished and the air around us became silent. Nick sat in the chair just as he was when I found him, staring intently at the computer screen in front of him, completely still.

“It’s strange hearing your voice and not seeing your mouth move.” I said softly, breaking whatever bubble Nick was in.

He didn’t jump, or really acknowledge my presence in any way. He stayed in his position, but this time his mouth did move, “You kept it acoustic.” He pointed out.

I was afraid to move, so I stayed where I was as I responded. “I was told to.”

“Why?”

I shrugged, “I don’t know, it is your show.”

I saw the edge of his mouth turn up slightly, “Why is it still on your laptop if it’s finished?”

“It’s my favorite song – off the album I mean. I enjoy listening to it; it calms me.”

“How?” he asked, finally turning to me. His face was mostly expressionless, but I could see the tear marks cascading down his face. “It’s a depressing song.”

“No it’s not,” I said shifting my weight so I was leaning on the doorway. “I think it’s a song about a guy so in love with this girl and how she’s his entire world. Yes he may be scared, but she’s changed his life and he doesn’t care as long as she’s in it with him. It’s the love song before the actual love happens.”

“Actual love?” He questioned.

“Yeah, like the love you have towards a person when you really know them and you would do anything for them and never hurt them in any way, shape, or form. The love in the song is just infatuation, I guess.”

“Morgan, do you believe in love? True, honest to God love?”

“No.” I answered simply.

“What, why not?” He looked at me like I was crazy.

“Oh, I have my reasons.” I said dismissing his question.

“Do you love music?” He asked, stood and began to walk towards me.

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Just answer the question,” He said, standing directly in front of me.

I sighed, “Yes, but that’s a diff-”

“But it’s love right?” He asked, cutting me off.

“Yes, but –”

“No Morgan, love is love. Plain and simple. It exists just like you and me and this tour bus. Just because you can’t see it doesn’t mean it’s not there.”

“I’m not saying that love doesn’t exist – just some types of love don’t exist.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because I know it doesn’t.” I said shortly.

“What would you say if I love you?” He asked as he moved closer, pinning me against the wall.

“I’d say you’re full of shit.” I said directly to his face. “Love between a man and woman, or man and man, or woman and woman when it’s not family doesn’t exist.”

“Why?”

“Because it doesn’t.”

“Why?” Nick asked again. “Why can’t someone love someone else if they’re not family?”

“Because it’s biologically impossible for someone to love someone that isn’t directly connected to them. Would you save your brothers from a swerving car even if it could kill you?”

“Of course,” He replied.

“Would you save me?”

“Of course.”

I rolled my eyes, “Bullshit.” I hissed and tried to maneuver around him.

Nick grabbed my wrists and held them against the wall, stopping me. “Why don’t you believe that I would?”

“Because it’s impossible!” I screamed in his face. “Because everyone is about themselves and their family. It’s survival instinct.”

“That’s a load of crap and you know it.” He argued back. “What made you so cynical? What made you so closed off? What made you like this?”

“Life Nick, alright. My life wasn’t all peaches and cream like yours has been. Now let me go!” I yelled and struggled to escape his tight grip.

“But not everyone is the same. Not everyone is like the people that fucked you over.”

“I’ve known enough people to know for a fact that they are.”

“I’m not.”

“Yes. You. Are.” I said through gritted teeth. “Now let me go.”

“Not until you admit that love exists.” He said his eyes boring into mine. “If you thought I was like all of the people that you’ve met in your life, why do I know the most about you? Why do you constantly tell me things that no one knows if you think that I’m just like the rest of them?”

“I – I don’t know!” I screamed. “I don’t know why it all spills out, it just does. I can’t stop it. Now let me go!”

“Not until you say love exists!” He repeated.

“Why is this so important to you?”

“Because I –”

“Hello, anyone here?” A voice from the front of the bus suddenly appeared. Joe’s voice.

“Back here!” I yelled for him, the one time I actually wanted him by my side instead of Nick.

As footsteps came quickly towards us, Nick let go of my wrists and took a few steps back. “Hey guys, we’re at the venue.” Joe said once he reached us, wrapping an arm around my shoulders as he pressed a kiss to the top of my head.

“Great,” Nick mumbled and stormed out of my bus.

Joe watched his brother leave and then turned back to me with a confused expression across his face. “What was that about?”

I sighed and patted Joe’s chest lightly, “Nothing.”