She Used to Be a Pearl

After crying pathetically on the side of the road that night I was determined to end my childish ways. It's been over a month since that night. Amanda and Kennedy finally started dating. She was apprehensive to tell me about it because she didn't know how I would react. I was happy for her. Just because things didn't work out for me doesn't mean that they shouldn't work out for her.

Since that night I acted like nothing happened. I kept everything inside and made everyone around me believe that I was fine. But I wasn't.

"Hey Caty! Wanna go out for lunch? My treat." Amanda asked coming into my room. I put my laptop down and shot her a fake smile.

"Sure, that sounds great." I told her.

"Awesome! I'm starving so get ready quick." She ordered.

As soon as she left I let out a long sigh and got up. I slid my jeans over my legs and buttoned them. I frowned when I felt how loose they were. It was obvious that I had lost a few pounds. I grabbed a sweater and pulled it over my cami. I slipped on some flip flops and walked out of my room.

"Ready to go?" She asked.

I nodded. She looked at me strangely.

"Uh... Not to be awkward or anything but I think you forgot to put on a bra..." She told me.

I looked down and sure enough I had forgotten to put one on. I walked back into my bedroom and fixed myself. I took a good look in the mirror this time and that's when I saw it. The emptiness in my eyes. It was like looking at a shell of who I once was.

I shook my thoughts away and met Amanda in the living room once again.

"Ready for real?" She giggled.

I nodded with a laugh as I grabbed my purse.

"So how do you forget to put a bra on?" She laughed as we walked to her car.

"I don't know. I'm just tired, I guess." I told her.

She looked at me sympathetically and then looked away quickly as if to avoid eye contact with me. I know that she knows something I don't.

"What?" I asked as I climbed into the passenger seat.

"What?" She replied innocently.

"What do you know that I don't?"

"Nothing!" she squeaked in high pitch voice, obviously guilty.

"It's about him." I stated. "I don't care, okay? I don't want to know. I should have just stayed away from him in the first place."

She just stayed silent as we drove to our favorite diner.

Amanda gushed about Kennedy the whole time and I couldn't help but feel jealous and happy for her.

When we finally got home I put my leftovers in the fridge and walked back to my bedroom. It was where I had been spending most of my time these days. I undressed and put on more comfortable clothes and plopped down on my bed. I turned my television on and started to watch Patrick Swayze in Dirty Dancing.

I smiled a bit at the cute movie got comfortable to watch it.

I heard a soft knock on the door and then it creaked open.

"Caty?" Amanda asked.

"Hm?" I replied, focused on the television.

"The guys are coming home on Saturday..." She informed me. As if I didn't know. "Do you want to go out to dinner with them that night? No drinking and we can leave whenever you want."

"I don't think so."

"Please? Jared's been dying without you." She pleaded.

She knew Jared was my soft spot. He was the one I could talk to about anything and besides John he probably made me laugh the most in the short time I spent with them.

"Okay," I sighed "But I really don't want to stay long."

"We won't. I promise." She squealed and ran out of the room, forgetting to shut my door.

I rolled off of my bed to shut it when I heard Amanda talking on the phone.

"He can't bring her on Saturday. I don't care if you have to tie her to a chair, she cannot come!"