You're My Medication

“I’m not in the best of moods, Batsy…” I grumbled walking towards my kitchen. Batman followed closely behind me.

“I don’t care how you feel right now. We need to talk about The Joker and what happened yesterday,” he said. I poured myself a glass of juice and took a sip before turning to look at the vigilante.

“Look Batsy, no matter how close we are, J doesn’t tell me everything he’s thinking. He can be a ticking bomb sometimes and even I can get hurt,” I mumbled taking another sip. It was then that I realized that he and I never got a chance to talk about what I said to him a few nights ago. I love him, but I don’t know how he feels about me…

“Nikki, he is a dog without a lease that needs to be put in a kennel,” Batman tried to reason with me. I tightened my hold on the glass before I threw it at the wall in anger. The juice sprayed everywhere and glass shards littered the floor. The Batman watched me closely trying to figure out why I did that.

“J pissed me off earlier so I’m not in the mood to talk to you about him or just to talk to you in general!” I snapped walking back into the living room.

“What did he do?” Batman asked following me. I spun around feeling frustrating and exhausted even though I just woke up.

“Are you deaf?! I just said that I didn’t want to talk about him!”

“Look, I’m trying to find a way to stop history from repeating itself!” he yelled back.

“Bat—“ I cut myself off and looked at him closely. I said that to Bruce many times and it’s weird that Batman is saying it to me. As far as I know, Batman doesn’t know what happened in Hampton unless Bruce or Gordon told him.

Batman didn’t say anything, but kept my eyes locked with his. His eyes… They look same deep chocolate brown as…Bruce’s! my eyes widened and I gasped a little.

“Bruce?” Batman’s eyes widened too, but he quickly regained his cool.

“Are you asking me a question? What do you mean?” he asked.

“Cut the crap. You’re Bruce aren’t you? Oh my God, it all makes sense now…” I said softly in disbelief as I sat down on my couch.

“Nikki, you can’t tell The Joker about me…” I looked up at the Batman when he said that. He didn’t sound like Batman anymore; it really was Bruce.

“I’m not stupid Bruce, I wouldn’t throw you into a pack of wolves like that. Even if you did keep me from J, it would be wrong to tell him your identity. I mean, you’re his life’s work… All he wants to do is figure out who you are. If he actually does, I don’t know what he’ll do after that…” I mumbled. Bruce sighed in relief.

“I was serious when I said we needed to talk,” he said. I ignored him and stood up, walking closer to him. He watched me and didn’t stop me when I reached up to touch his mask.

“It’s hard to belief that Bruce Wayne, Gotham’s playboy is also Gotham’s Dark Knight,” I whispered and carefully began to take his mask off. As I slowly took it off, I saw Bruce looking at me intently.

“Is it still that hard to believe?” he asked.

“A little, but I’ll get used to it. We’ll be seeing a lot of each other in the future,” I replied holding his mask in my hands and looking down at it.

“Nikki…” I looked up at Bruce when he called me. His eyes held an emotion that I couldn’t place, maybe sadness or sympathy

“What?”

“Do you really want to stay with The Joker? You're so young and you still have your entire life ahead of you,” he said. I sat down on the couch again with Bruce’s mask and looked at it again.

“Of course I do. J is my everything; I don’t know what I would do without him. He saved my life when I was 15 and I don’t plan on ever leaving his side,” I said quietly. Bruce sat down next to me and took his mask back.

“You don’t have to feel like you're obligated to stay with him,” Bruce said.

“It’s not just that. Bruce, I love him…” he sighed and rubbed his temples.

“Love is a dangerous thing, it can kill people.”

“Are you speaking from experience?” I asked softly thinking about Rachel. He nodded a little.

“It’s even more dangerous when the one you love is a wanted man in two countries. Bruce, I know what I'm getting into. J and I have been through so much shit together. I know it’s hard for you to believe, but he does have a soft side that I only get to see. That soft side reminds me of him before he became J. I still hope that one day he and I can move far away again and start over without the clown persona. You’d be surprised if you ever met him without the makeup,” I explained.

“Nikki, I’ve seen so much death. I want to believe you, but I don’t want to see another innocent life taken away too early.”

“Then keep an eye on me. I’ll take care of myself, but I don’t mind if you ever stop by to check up on me and I’ll do the same to you. Friends?” I asked holding out my hand. He hesitated, but took my hand in his.

“Friends.” I smiled widely and stood up.

“I should go clean up the mess I made,” I said looking at the glass still on the floor. Bruce stood up and placed his mask back on.

“Don’t think that we’re done with our conversation from before. I’ll come by here again and we can talk then. Be careful,” he added that last part before disappearing out my door.

I cleaned up my mess and sat down on the couch again. It’s weird not being around J. Usually he takes up all my free time and I never feel bored like this…

I should probably pack some more clothes to take back to J’s new base. I don’t feel like wearing the same clothes all the time. I went into my room and packed a gym bag filled with more things that I needed. I placed it by the door and decided to grab an apple before I left again. My stomach is growling like crazy.

As I grabbed the apple, I heard my door open. Great, are the police here now? Or did Bruce come back to talk again about J?

I walked back into the living room and saw J standing by the front door. He was frowning and looking at my gym bag.

“J, what're you doing here? I said I wanted to be alone.” he looked up at me before glancing back at the bag again.

“I know what you said. What's this?” he asked pointing to the gym bag. I raised an eyebrow.

“A bag full of the things that I need to take with me to leave?” it sounded like a question because I didn’t really understand what he was asking for. Why else would I have a bag packed by the door?

“Leave? You want to leave?” he growled. What the—Wait, this is a misunderstanding. Does he think I want to leave him?

“J, I didn’t mean it like—“

“Why would you want to leave?!” he yelled and backed me up against a wall. I tried to move away from the wall, but J grabbed my arms and shoved me back against it. He placed a hand on either side of my head so that I couldn’t get away from him.

“How could you think about leaving me? I’ve done everything for you! I am the way I am because of you! My scars, The Joker, Gotham! I’ve done it all so that I can protect you!” he yelled gripping my arms so tight that I could feel the bruises forming.

“J—“

“Have you found another man?! That’s it isn’t it… You’ve found someone normal; someone who doesn’t have baggage; someone who doesn’t have scars to remind him of his past!” What the fuck is he talking about?!

“Will you shut up for two seconds?!” I screamed.

“I’m not leaving you! I packed that bag so I could have more things at your base so I could stay closer to you! I haven’t found someone else because I love you, Jack! You should know that because I told you!” I yelled back. J was either stunned or too shocked for words.

“AND, what the hell is wrong with your scars?! We are only together now because of them… Why are you even thinking like that?” I asked softly. J finally found his voice.

“Nikki, sometimes I think you’re too good for me…” Jack! He’s finally showing himself; it’s not J right now.

“Jack, that’s not true. I would never leave you; you’re the only person in this whole world that I truly care about,” I whispered cupping his cheeks. I ran my fingers over his scars and leaned up to kiss them gently.

“Without these, we never would have met,” I said referring to his scars. Jack wrapped his arms around me and pulled me in for a kiss.

“In answer to your question a while back, I love you too,” Jack kissed me again, but then I felt J slowly coming back. His fingers ran up and down my spine as he held me close. J picked me up and carried me to my bedroom...