My Toxic Valentine

Jack wasn’t hurt even a little by what Alex’s friends had said- he’d heard it all before, and by now he was kind of immune to what random strangers had to say about him. He was, however, deeply touched by the fact that Alex had stood up for him.

He felt a little guilty, though. He wasn’t worth Alex pushing his friends away for.

But Alex disagreed.

“They’re assholes, Jack. I don’t need friends like them,” he argued as the two boys sat in the same park where they’d first met, eating ice-cream that Jack had insisted on buying as a thank-you after they’d left the diner together.

Something had clicked in Jack after they’d walked out. He felt as though someone actually cared about him. Like, genuine concern.

And that felt pretty damn good.

“Seriously though, Jack,” Alex said, looking down at his lap “They’re not worth it. If they can say things like that to someone they don’t know… I don’t think they’re going to accept me when… you know.”

“They don’t know that you’re gay,” Jack said. It wasn’t a question.

Alex shook his head. “Only Zack.”

Jack frowned. “Was he the one that looked like he could knock me out just by looking at me?”

Alex smiled. “Yeah, the one that told Sean to grow up. He’s a nice guy. Unlike the others, apparently.”

There was a brief silence before either of them spoke again.

“You didn’t think they were assholes yesterday,” Jack pointed out quietly “And you were happy then.”

Alex frowned. “I wasn’t happy yesterday. Yesterday I thought you hated me.”

Jack felt his cheeks grow warm and he looked down at the grass. “Sorry.’

“Hey, don’t apologize,” Alex said quickly, touching Jack’s leg for the briefest moment which, although it was meant to be comforting, nearly gave Jack a coronary.

“If anything, I should be the one apologizing,” he finished.

“For what?” Jack asked, a confused expression on his face, before shoving a spoonful of ice-cream into his mouth.

“For… I don’t know… mouth-raping you,” Alex said awkwardly, his face growing slightly red, a far-cry from his usual composed and confident demeanor.

Jack couldn’t help the snort that escaped. It was somewhere between laughing and choking on his ice-cream, and it only caused Alex to blush harder.

“Sorry,” Jack apologized, tears of laughter in his eyes “But I’d hardly call it a mouth-raping.”

Alex smiled a little, but shook his head. “Whatever. I shouldn’t have done it and I’m sorry.”

Jack sighed. “Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry I freaked out and ran away.”

The two boys sat there in silence for a minute, stealing glances at each other and both completely unsure of how to continue the conversation.

“I do like you,” Jack began, hesitation obvious in his voice. Alex’s head snapped up from looking at his shoes to meet Jack’s eyes.

“I can’t be with you, though,” he finished quietly.

“Oh,” Alex said softly, his gaze dropping back to his feet.

“I’m… toxic, Alex,” Jack said, his voice almost as low as Alex’s and definitely filled with as much hurt. “You deserve someone a lot better than me.”

Alex opened his mouth to argue, but Jack just shook his head.

Alex smiled. “You’re wrong, but… okay. Can we… I dunno, be friends I guess,” he screwed his nose up at the cheesiness and complete cliché of it.

Jack laughed and nodded. “Yeah.”

The silence that settled now was not as awkward. It was comfortable and Jack felt a weight lift off his shoulders now that he’d, kind of, managed to communicate to Alex that he couldn’t get involved with him like that.

Truth be told, when Alex had kissed him he’d enjoyed every second of it, but at the same time there was a nagging voice reminding him of just why he made a point to never get involved with people he met.

He’d already broken most of his rules in Baltimore- he was staying in the one spot, he’d made a friend and he’d definitely let his guard down.

Falling in love, however, was one rule he refused to break.

Jack looked up from staring at his ice-cream to see Alex looking at him, a curious expression on his face.

“What’re you so glum about?”

Jack sighed. “I’ve only got peppermint choc-chip left.” It wasn’t a lie; that had been a particularly disappointing flavor.

Alex laughed. “I did tell you to get all rum and raisin.”

“Well, I didn’t think I’d like it so much.”

“Maybe you’re a closet alcoholic,” Alex suggested.

“Oh, very closeted,” Jack said with a smile “I haven’t had a drink in… I don’t know, at least 6 months.”

Alex gasped. “Seriously?”

Jack nodded. And took advantage of Alex’s disbelief to reach over and steal some of his ice-cream.

“Hey!”

“Well, you’ve still got rum and raisin left,” Jack stated, as though that explained everything.

“I thought this was your way of thanking me for being your knight in shining armor,” Alex said pointedly “It’s not a very good ‘thank-you’ if you keep stealing it.”

Jack sighed. “I suppose you’re right.” He paused for a moment, before he smirked slightly and continued.

“If I thank you another way will you share the rest of your ice-cream?”

Alex looked confused. “What do you mean?”

With a slight glance around, Jack made sure that the two didn’t have an unwanted audience before setting down his cup and leaning over to Alex.

Summoning courage he didn’t know he had, he placed one hand on Alex’s cheek and used the other to steady himself as he kissed him gently on the lips.

He could taste the ice-cream on his moth as Alex gladly kissed him back, parting his lips slightly.

Jack pulled away before things could go beyond PG-13, however, causing Alex to sigh with disappointment.

“Sorry,” Jack said with a shy smile “What I said still stands. But, really… thanks, Alex.”

Alex grinned at him, his cheeks still slightly flushed from the shock of the unexpected kiss.

“Anytime, if it gets that kind of thank you.”

Jack blushed, causing Alex to laugh and nudge him gently. He looked up to see Alex holding out the rest of his ice-cream.

Jack grinned before digging his spoon in. The two sat in silence, sharing the remainder of Alex’s ice-cream- Jack’s peppermint long forgotten; melting in the sun.

“I intend to prove you wrong, by the way,” Alex said, turning his gaze to Jack, a smile on his lips.

Jack frowned, but before he could ask, Alex continued.

“You’re not toxic. And I don’t deserve better than you.”