My Toxic Valentine

But... when he was talking to Alex yesterday, Jack could’ve sworn he’d heard…No, surely not. There is no way Alex would’ve answered the phone if he’d been watching gay porn.

Anyway, Jack thought with resignation, it really didn’t matter what Alex’s orientation was. There was no way that he would ever be interested in a boy like Jack. And as attractive as he found Alex, it was not in Jack’s best interests to get involved with someone.

That had only ever ended in disaster before.

When Alex reappeared, holding his guitar, a wide grin on his face, Jack was grateful for the distraction. Not that Alex was really a distraction from… well, from Alex, but hey. At least it brought Jack back to the here and now.

“Got it,” Alex announced, holding the guitar up awkwardly, probably wondering why Jack was standing there looking vacant.

Jack thought about speaking, but decided it was probably a better idea for him to just keep his mouth shut and trail down the hall after Alex.

“We can go into the rec room. There’s no one home, so don’t worry about being noisy, or anything.”

Jack couldn’t help but smile.

When they were both sitting down in the aforementioned rec room, Jack began to feel more at ease. He was comfortable holding his guitar; it was kind of a security blanket for him.

“Hey, you were playing Blink-182 when I saw you in the city. Do you like them?” Alex asked casually as he strummed absently.

Jack looked up, a little surprised that Alex had remembered what he’d been playing, and a lot surprised that he needed to ask that question.

“Like them? Are you kidding? They’re the greatest band ever!” he replied, enthusiasm finally showing through.

Alex looked up grinned. “I know. Tom Delonge’s really hot, too.”

Jack blinked a couple of times before what Alex had said, and more importantly; what that meant, began to sink in.

It took approximately that same length of time for a faint blush to rise in Alex’s cheeks and he cleared his throat awkwardly.

“So, uh, how do you feel about I Miss You?”

Jack just grinned and began to play, Alex joining in soon after.

They sounded good together, was the thought running through the mind of both boys simultaneously.

Just when Jack was getting over how amazing it felt to be sitting here, with Alex, playing guitar together and sounding good, Alex opened his mouth and began to sing.

Jack was so shocked that he stopped playing, which threw Alex off, causing him to lose focus. He stopped singing and playing and looked up at Jack, the redness rising to his cheeks once more.

“Sorry. I know I’m not that good, but I-“

“You’re awesome,” Jack interrupted, causing Alex to just blush more.

Good, thought Jack. It felt good to be the one that wasn’t being socially awkward.

“Can we start again?” Jack asked.

Alex just nodded, a smile playing on his lips.

Minutes turned into hours as they practiced together, playing songs they both knew and teaching each other songs they didn’t. Every time Jack made a mistake (from nerves; he didn’t really stuff up often) he’d apologise, causing Alex to shake his head and tell him to shut up; in the nicest way possible, of course.

Jack could scarcely wipe the grin off his face. He was having fun.

Fun.

That should not have been an unfamiliar word for a teenage boy, but Jack couldn’t remember the last time he’d enjoyed something this much. Surviving was different to living, Jack had discovered, and surviving didn’t really allow for fun.

He couldn’t decide if he envied Alex or not. Sure, he lived in a beautiful house, seemed to have a stable family life judging from the pictures that filled the walls and he was the most attractive man in the world. But Jack knew all too well that money didn’t equal happiness.

As for looks, he didn’t know and figured that barring a visit from his own personal genie, he figured he never would.

Family was probably the one thing that Jack thought definitely had the ability to make someone happy. Feeling the familiar twang at his heart, Jack attempted to push any thoughts of family aside.

Trust him to let his mind wander to them during the one time in modern world history that he was enjoying himself. It was a knack he had; causing the mood to come plummeting down; as he’d often been reminded.

Fortunately, it seemed to be a knack of Alex’s to bring Jack back to the present.

“I’m ravenous,” Alex announced, putting his guitar down and rubbing his stomach, as though to really get his point across.

Jack looked up at the clock, surprised when he saw the little hand fast approaching the 7.

“Whoa… have we really been playing for 4 hours?” he asked Alex, incredulous.

Alex laughed and nodded. “I guess so, bro. Hungry?”

Jack shook his head, looking down at his feet. “No, I’m alright, thanks.”

In complete defiance, Jack’s stomach took that opportunity to rumble so loudly and so fiercely that he felt as though Alex’s neighbors might start running with towards him with sandwiches any minute.

Mind you, Jack thought absently, strangers with sandwiches would be very good strangers indeed; even if it was less effective than candy.

“Liar,” Alex said with a grin as he jumped up and walked out of the room, leaving a confused Jack sitting alone in the rec room.

Alex’s beanie clad head popped back through the doorway. “Coming?”

Unsure of where he was going or why, Jack hesitantly made his way out of the room, following Alex back downstairs.

“Pizza?” Alex asked as they stepped into the kitchen.

“Huh?” Jack responded stupidly, wondering why anybody made white kitchen appliances so blinding.

“Do you like pizza?” Alex asked patiently as he flicked through takeout menus.

Jack shrugged. “Yeah.”

“Cool.”

There was silence for a few minutes before Alex shoved a menu in Jack’s face, a triumphant look on his face. “Pick.”

Jack just shook his head. “I don’t mind.”

Alex sighed dramatically. “I can’t make decisions. You have to pick.”

Jack laughed, but took the menu. “I don’t know… something with chicken?”

That was good enough for Alex. He picked up the phone and dialed the number, jumping up and sitting his bum on the kitchen counter as he waited.

“Twenty minutes,” Alex said as he hung the phone up “And my treat, bro. I owe you for keeping me entertained all afternoon.”

Jack opened his mouth to argue, but it was pointless. Alex had already hopped down from the counter and whistled loudly, causing Sebastian to come running into the kitchen.

Jack grinned, seeing the little white and tan fluffball wagging his tail furiously.

“Are you hungry, little Baz?” Alex cooed, picking him up and holding him to his chest as he opened the fridge.

The dog gave an enthusiastic yap; apparently the duo had played through his dinner time as well as Alex’s.

Expensive looking dog food was produced and spooned into Sebastian’s bowl and he tucked in eagerly the minute his little white feet hit the tiled floor.

Alex wandered back over to where Jack was standing, and leaned back on one of the counters, next to him. “So, why are you travelling at the moment?”

Jack thought for a moment. “Just needed a break, I guess,” he answered truthfully, for a change.

Alex just nodded. There was a comfortable silence for a moment until Alex broke it again, more hesitantly this time.

“I’m glad you decided to stay in Baltimore,” he said, turning away from watching Sebastian to look at Jack instead.

Jack felt his face grow warm, but couldn’t fight the smile that was playing at his lips.

“Me too. This has been fun.”

Alex seemed to shift then, bringing his body closer to Jacks; just ever so slightly.

Whether he imagined the movement or not, Jack wasn’t sure, but he definitely didn’t imagine the butterflies that took over his stomach for that moment.

Alex’s hand brushed Jack’s where they were both resting on the counter, and Jack fought the urge to flinch, which seemed to give Alex some confidence.

Jack could have sworn the next part happened in slow motion; Alex turning to face him fully, his hand coming up to rest on Jack’s stubbly jaw.

And his lips colliding with Jack’s.

A gasp of shock gave Alex all the invitation he needed and he snaked his tongue into the younger boy’s mouth, the warm and comfortable feeling of it giving him goosebumps.

Jack didn’t so much kiss Alex back as allow himself to be kissed. He was too surprised to do anything else.

Boys like Alex don’t just kiss boys like him, he thought as the reality of what was happening began to sink in. He felt a wave of nausea as he pushed Alex away, trying to pinpoint the exact moment that he’d lost himself and completely forgotten everything he’d learnt.

His only coherent thought was that his guitar and backpack were still upstairs and he had to get them. He did so quickly, fingers fumbling on his guitar case, his heart still racing.

As he came back down the stairs, he saw Alex looking hurt and confused, still standing in the kitchen.

But not half as hurt as he would’ve ended up, Jack reminded himself sternly before forcing himself to leave.
He opened the front door and rushed out, colliding with the flustered pizza delivery guy as he did so.

He couldn’t stay here. This was breaking the rules.

So Jack did what he should’ve done before he rang the doorbell; he turned tail and ran.