Accept Yourself Before Accepting Others

Before I know it, it’s time for third period history.
The class right before lunch, I’d made it this far into the day I was doing well.
Sam walks into the room like she owns it, removes her scarf and takes the seat next to me.
“Before you can say no, you’re coming with me” she smiles showing teeth.
“Coming with you where? Why?” I ask a little worried.
“Party......underground” she whispers.
I shot her a confused entirely look.
“Underground club-ish sort of thing. I know the guy that owns it and a few friends of mine are going, they don’t go here. You’re in right?” she asks with puppy dog eyes.
“I didn’t know you could do those” I laugh.
She smiles but then begins to look even more sad than before.
“Okay but promise you’ll make sure I don’t like die or get into a bad crowd, I’ve never been to one of these things” I confess.
“I’ll keep you safe, promise” she smiles placing a hand on mine which is on the table.
The teacher walks into the room and we shift a little further from each other.
“So when is this thing?” I ask in a whisper.
“Tonight eight o clock” she smiles flicking through pages of her history book.
“But it’s Thursday, a school night!” I try to whisper panicking.

“April chill out, tomorrow is Friday. We aren’t going to learn anything new at the end of the week, everyone knows that and hey! Maybe we won’t stay that long even who knows, you can stay over at mine okay? Just tell your mom we need to study for a test or something” she explains our future plans so simply.
The look on my face is probably anything but convincing, I fake a smile and nod at the black board ahead of us.
We don’t talk much after that, not wanting to draw attention to ourselves and be moved from each other.
Well I don’t know that for sure, but one can only assume that’s why.
Sam stares ahead as the teacher begins to explain something we’re learning.
I stare at her, her piercings especially.
It’s like no one notices her nose ring, and the two on her lip.
How can that be allowed in a school like this?
I thought they were strict.
I do nothing in the class, just sit there staring and thinking “Can anyone else see her or am I going crazy?”
Before I know it, the bell rings and everyone rushes out of the room.
Except for me and Sam obviously, she sits on the table waiting for me to get up.

“So do you want to tell me what was so distracting about my face during class?” she laughs adjusting a black heart necklace on her neck.
“If I tell you it’s because you’re too beautiful will you drop it?” I ask staring at the floor.
“Ah April, you flatter me. Come on let’s go sit on the grass outside” she pulls my wrist and runs out the door.

We sit on our jackets on the grass and begin eating our sandwiches.
“So did they hurt? The piercings I mean, I’ve always wanted some but I don’t know where to get done. I think my parents would murder me anyway” I smile a little.
“My lips not much actually, a little afterwards but my nose hurt a bit more during. Nothing I can’t handle, I’ve had them a few years the school think I’m bad enough as it is so they don’t say much about it” she smiles back at me.
“So this thing tonight, I assume there is going to be alcohol?” I say taking my phone out of my bag to text my mom about staying over at Sam’s house.

I text my mother about staying over, expecting her to be annoyed and say no straight away.
I wasn’t allowed sleepovers or stay over at anyone’s house much as a kid, I was use to her getting annoyed about it.
This time however she simply replied “Okay love, but do check in at home first after school”
I automatically assume it’s because she thinks I will be in the hands of parents just like her and my father.
“Yes there will be a lot of alcohol, do you drink?” Sam asks grabbing my attention.

“Ehh....a little. Not much to be honest but I’ll find something. I’m allowed to stay over once I check in at home, you can come with me.......maybe” my eyes scan Sam top to bottom.
“I’ll hide in the driveway if needed” she laughs.
“I’m glad you can come, I didn’t want to go without you” she says more serious.
“So what about tomorrow, I mean if we don’t make it in to school?” I ask.
“My sister will call the school and say we’re sick, she’ll take care of it. Don’t worry” she waves a hand in front of me.
“That’s so cool, so you get along then?” I ask.
“Well we have to, I guess when you have a shit upbringing, usually you stick to your siblings a lot more. It’s the main way you survive when you’re young, it’s harder if you fight and stuff. Well that’s how I look at it anyway” she throws her sandwich packaging away.
“Yeah but it is true, I mean there is enough stress with parents it’s easier to just not fight with siblings. Make sense” I nod a few times before taking the last bite out of my sandwich.

“Only a few more classes to go and we have the whole night and tomorrow together, how exciting April” Sam speaks as if she is in some sort of play.
“It’s glorious if you ask me Samantha” I laugh.
“We can like watch some movies and get some popcorn, do the usual gay sleepover thing.........I apologise for my misuse of the word gay there” she smiles like a hyper child.

“I never had one of those” I fake smile a little but the confession is a little sad to me.
“We’ll make it extra special then, awh April’s first sleepover how cute!!!” Sam claps her hands together.
“To be honest I’m a little surprised my mother let me stay this time, I know it’s probably got to do with a school like this but still. I never was allowed before, so excuse if I’m a little........boring” I shrug.
“You are in no way boring April, in fact I find you a little fascinating and not to mention extremely adorable too” she smiles lying down on the grass properly.
I feel myself blush and my whole face go like a tomato.
I awkwardly move beside her and lie facing her.