Must Be Dreamin'

So, we’re leaving today. I’m not as excited as I once was. Today, I’m bummed out about the whole… break up thing. I know it’s probably for the best, but… it just has me down today.

I tried to have a positive attitude though. It would be really nice to get out of town for a while. That’s what I was looking most forward to. Then I was hoping it would give me time to get over Jimmy. This should work by not seeing him, but…what happens when I see him afterwards?

I couldn’t let that affect me though. I had to leave to meet the band. Before I did though, I stopped at my parents’ house to say goodbye. They were sitting in the living room, doing their mom and dad thing of watching TV. They both smiled at me when I walked in. Neither of them knew about Jimmy and I. I regretted coming now.

“Hey, Ky,” my mom smiled as I plopped down on the couch next to her.

“Hey,” I countered a little… apathetically.

“What’s wrong?” my dad asked with concern in his eyes.

“I’m leaving with Kirstie and her band in a little bit to go on tour with them,” I replied, sighing a little.

“Do you… not want to?” my mom asked.

“Well, yeah, but… Jimmy and I…” I started.

“You’re going to miss him,” my mom cooed while reaching over to pinch my cheeks.

But I didn’t have a response for this. I just stared back at her. Her expression quickly changed though. Concerned now filled her eyes.

“Ky, did something… happen with Jimmy?” she asked, a little apprehensive at first.

I sucked in a much-needed gulp of air and let it out. I didn’t know how to tell them. I know that they loved Jimmy and I together. It’s always weird. You’re not the only one breaking up with your boyfriend… your family is too.

“We’re not… together anymore,” I finally pushed out. “We broke up a few days ago,” I went on, feeling my eyes start to sting.

The room fell silence for what seemed like forever, but in all honesty, it was less than a minute. It still sucked though! And didn’t help lesson my tear flow.

“Aw, honey, I’m sorry,” my mom spoke up while pulling me in for a tight hug.

After I had my moment, I went on and told them about what happened… from the beginning. That one was hard. They were never really too approving of Todd. To find out that they’re daughter was messing around with him behind her boyfriend’s back, the guy that they love just like their own son, is so hard to do. But they didn’t seem too biased.

“Well, if that’s how he wants to be, he can be that way. You just worry about you. There’s someone out there for you, Ky. Obviously, Jimmy wasn’t that person,” my dad spoke up, who had been pretty quiet all night.

“But… I cared about him so much and for him to just walk out like that… hurt,” I cracked out from my mom’s arms.

She shushed me and rubbed my back in a motherly way. It didn’t help too much. It just took the top layer of sting off. But I couldn’t sit around moping all day. The bus was leaving in less than twenty minutes and I had to be there.

I told my parents goodbye even though they wanted to drive me to the bus. They don’t trust me in my emotional state.Maybe it’s because I totaled my car when Jeremy passed…

But I made it there harm free. When I pulled up, Kirstie was hugged tightly up against Josh. Spare me! This brought a wave of sadness over me. I don’t have anyone to hug goodbye…It’d be nice to have someone’s beefy arms hook around me and a pair of bright blue eyes to gaze into.

I walked over to the giggly couple while pushing my sunglasses over my eyes. I don’t need their pity just from looking at the state of my eyes. I got plenty of that when Jeremy passed away.

“Get excited, Ky!” Kirstie said way too excitedly once I walked up.

“Wooo!” I tried to just as joyous as her, but… it wasn’t working.

“I think she needs a hug, Josh,” she loudly whispered, making me roll my eyes.

But before I could protest, they’re both wrapping their arms around me tightly. I tried pushing them off, but it just ended in a fit of giggles… from all of us.

“You ok?” she asked, loosening her grip around me a little bit.

“Yeah,” I assured her, but I knew she wasn’t buying.

She didn’t question though… and I was glad. I climbed onto the buss so that her and Josh could have a moment to themselves. I just went to the back of the bus and plopped down on the couch back there.

Once the bus started rolling, Kirsite came and sat with me. Very few words came out of our mouths though. My mind was elsewhere. It felt like I was leaving myself in Temecula, growing farther away with each passing mile… a month worth of miles to be exact.