Something Vague.

“Okay JohnO, get in the studio.”

I took a sip of my water before stepping into the small little booth. I looked around at how creepy it was but it made me feel more at ease. I stripped off my shirt, the sweat falling from my body. This room was like my own hell. I placed the headphones on and stared at the mic, almost like I was glaring at it. I look down at the piece of paper with the lyrics on it. I was starting to miss my notebook; I was always able to read my handwriting better than printed out perfect font.

“Okay John start from the top.”

I closed my eyes and let the words fall from my lips along to the beat that was running through my ears. The first verse was finished but it didn’t sound good to me, my raspy voice was too much to handle.

“Can I start that over?”

“Yeah, go for it.”

I heard the weird beat coming from the headphones along with the small amount of guitar. I placed my hands over my ears before staring forward at the mic.

“Wake up its 5 a.m. You fell in love again something wrong with living life like this At work can't help but stare long legs and her dark brown hair you give her a smile and that's about it”, I sang pulling away from the mic moving my body with the beat.

I took a deep breath before opening my mouth again. “the store at 6 p.m you see her face again you catch her eye you panic and walk towards her can't think of what to say no words come up today so you just smile and it's goodbye you say so what I fell in love but it just won't work because”, I sang hearing my echo from previous recordings singing along with the beat.

“I fell in love again don't know how it happened she slipped away again the same as last weekend oh it's a routine thing just with some new feelings I always choke up when I get close to closing in”, I sang thinking back to Carly.

“So I stand straight into the mirror hope I find something near if not I know I’ll get shot right straight back down I dress up real nice make sure my hair is right write down a few lines to tell her that I love her you say so what I fell in love but it just won't work because.”

I opened my eyes feeling the tense feeling in my throat. I always felt like my veins on my neck were going to exploded every time I sang. I took off the headphone before whipping the sweat off of my face. I walked out of the room and saw Howard sitting there looking somewhat pleased but then again I don’t know how he looks when he looks happy with what we do. I looked over at Garrett giving me thumbs up with a nod of his head.

“That was good”, he said. “But”, and of course there was a but to the compliment. “You can do better. That’s not going to be on the record.”

I nodded my head but all I wanted to do was punch the wall behind me. I took a deep breath and took a seat next to Garrett and Kennedy. They just rubbed my back trying to calm me down but all I wanted to do was scream. We all grabbed our things and we were out of the studio like always, our heads lower and lower each time.

“You’re so tense!”

“Pat stop rubbing me, it’s really creepy”, I said feeling Pat’s hands all over my shoulders
rubbing harder.

That’s when he thought it would be funny to rub his hands over the front of my body going lower on my stomach. I wasn’t in the mood to laugh or play the gay off. I pushed his hands off of me and pushed him back in his seat making everyone laugh.

“Beer?”

I looked up at Jared looking in the fridge holding up a bid light. I shook my head and he just shrugged and opened four beers handing them off to Moose, Tim and Kenny. I leaned back in the couch feeling pissed off, like always.

“John don’t worry man”, Pat said looking over at me.

“It’s just pissing me off. Like I understand the first record is easier because we have our whole life to write it while the second record is only in a couple of months. But those couple of months something amazing should have come out or something good at least.”

“I know this isn’t all about the record”, Jared said with a laugh. “Carly’s got you whipped my man.”

“I fucking know!” I yelled in frustration making them all laugh. “She’s so fucking perfect but it frustrates me because she’s so distant. I never know what she’s thinking or going to do.”

“That’s why you’re so into her”, Moose said with a laugh taking a sip of his beer. “Every guy loves the chase.”

“I’m starting to hate it; I’m so confused and frustrated.”

“Stop being a pussy.”

“Fuck you”, I said looking over at Tim with a laugh.

“Speak of the devil.”

I looked over seeing Moose look over at Carly getting home. I stood up from my seat and walked out the door. I could hear all the guys laughing at my frustrations. I knocked on the door over and over again, déjà vu coming to mind. She opened the door and smiled at me, but this time that wasn't going to work.

“Am I your type of guy?”

“Hello to you too”, she said with a laugh as I walked past her.

“Do you have some kick out of messing with guys?”

“Kind of.”

“What the fuck does that even mean?!”

She just laughed walking over to me. Her laughing just kind of pissed me off more, adding fuel to the fire. Her constantly teasing just makes me want her more. There’s nothing this girl can’t do to make me stop wanting her.

“What does what mean?” she asked with a smirk.

“Just everything you say! I never know what the fuck you mean. I can’t read you at all. Why are you so distant?”

“Why are you so concerned with me being so distant?”

That’s where I couldn’t stand it; I couldn’t take the questions and the vague answers. I blew up. I threw my hands up in the air letting out a big breath of air.

“Because I fucking like you!”

“I know you like me.”

“What?”

“Obviously you like me, I’m your friends. I’d be hurt if you secretly hate me.”

“I’m starting to hate you right now”, I said watching her smirk, she knew what she was doing and it was killing me.

“Why?”

“Because you know exactly what you’re doing. I’m calling you out! You know I have feelings for you other than platonic friendship bullshit.”

“John”, she said with a smile.

“That’s all you have to say after I confess all this shit”, I said getting out of control, her laugh adding fuel to my anger and frustration.

“If this is just some plot to make me kiss you again, it’s not going to work.”

“This isn’t some game to me”, I said calming down and looking over at her for the first time without wanting to punch her head off of rip her clothes off. “I have really strong feelings for you.”

“You don’t know me.”

“I know enough to know that I want you to be mine and no one else’s.”

“Okay”, she said simply making me throw my head back in frustration.

“Okay? What does that mean?”

“It means okay”, she said with a smirk making me laugh.

“Do you have feelings for me?”

“I like you.”

“In what way?”

“In the way you want it to mean, anyway.”

“Do you want me be with me?”

That’s when she stood still looking over at me, she gave me a shrug. That’s when I saw her pull out a coin from her pocket. I just stared at her no believing what was going on in front of me. Was she really going to flip a fucking coin?

“Heads I’ll be with you Tails no.”

“Are you fucking serious?” I asked as she nodded her head with a smirk. “God, what’s the fucking point?!” I yelled watching her flip the coin.

I was too busy concentrating on the coin, hoping and praying it was going to land on heads. Wishing I had some kind of magic. For once in my life I wanted to be Harry Potter. That’s when I felt my chest being pushed and lips against mine. At first I was unsure of what was going on, but then I let my lips move with hers as my arms wrapped around her waist. I Felt her tongue slid against mine, making me even more excited. She pulled away leaving baby kisses on my lips. She looked over at me with a smirk; she loved playing with my emotions.

“Were you just fucking with me, with the coin?”

“Nah, the coin has significance”, she said with a laugh. “When I'm torn between something I flip a coin. Not for the sake of seeing which idea wins, but because while the coins in the air I usually get this feeling hoping it's one of the two things, and then I know I want.”

“And you want me?”

“Maybe”, she said with a smirk before giving me a kiss.