A Little Piece of Heaven

Normal POV

Another week has past by and Brian has been extremely distant.

I know that after every thing that has happened between me and him, a little distance wouldn't hurt.

But it did.

So much more then it should have.

I'm pissed off, I'm hurt.

But at the end of the day, if he's hurting, I am too.

Everyone was having a night out and Syn was the only one who stayed in.

I waddled up the stairs of the bus to see Brian walking out of the steamy little shower room.

He was only wearing a towel and the water was still glistening on his body.

My breath caught in my throat and my eyes bulged.

It felt like an eternity since I'd seen him like this.

Felt him.

And I wanted him so bad right now.

I felt the babies start to kick out as my heart rate accelerated.

Brian turned and saw me standing there and he paused.

He looked up at me for a moment and a small frown came on his face.

He turned away from me quickly and walked into the bunks.

I stood there for a moment, trying to register what just happened.

I followed him into the small bunk area.

I leaned against the door frame and watched as Brian threw things around.

"What are you looking for?" I asked him.

"My fucking boxers." He said angrily.

"What's wrong?" I asked him.

He let out a hard laugh.

"Nothing. Everything's perfect." He said as he threw his duffel bag on his bunk.

"Glad to hear your sarcasm is still in tact." I said.

He didn't say anything he just scuffed.

"Why don't you tell me what's really wrong now?" I asked, walking towards him, my hands placed on my belly.

He kept his back towards me and wouldn't face in my direction.

I went behind him and put my hands gently on his shoulders.

I felt his shoulders sink down for a moment and then he pulled away from me.

He turned to face me an the pained look on his face scared me.

"How can you stand to look at me or even touch me after what I've done to you?" He asked incredulously.

"I've had time to think about what happened. I've had time to calm down. And getting myself worked, and possibly hurting my babies, is not a risk I'm willing to take." I said to him.

His eyes held the shock that I was looking for.

Cause even though I said I've had time to calm down.

It still hurts.

It still hurts that he'd betray me when I've given him absolutely everything.

All of me.

And he threw it back in my face, like it wasn't good enough.

"Our babies." He said firmly.

I narrowed my eyes.

"Our babies seemed to slip from your mind when you were making out with Michelle." I bit back.

His mouth opened and shut, like he didn't know what to say.

"I already explained to you what happened, and why I did what I did. I know it doesn't make it better, and I know I can't take it back. But I've said I'm sorry. And I've been trying to make it up to you. But you won't let me." Brian said angrily.

"Why in the hell makes you think you have the right to be upset! I was the one who got betrayed! I was the one who had to stand there while I watched the man I love with every single fiber in my body, the father of my children, my fiance, kiss the woman he cheated on me with several times! And you think you're upset! You haven't begun to see upset!" I screamed.

Brian stood there staring at me with wide eyes.

I was breathing heavily as I stared at him, trying to calm down.

My babies were kicking like a soccer time and I realized I needed to calm down.

This is exactly why I've been avoiding Brian.

I didn't want to blow up.

And that's just what happened.

I looked at Brian and saw all of the pain in his eyes, and then what I just said repeated in my head.

My mouth opened in shock.

Holy shit.

"Brian...." I tried to say.

I reached out to him and he took a step back.

"I'm so sorry honey. I didn't mean it. I was just upset." I said quickly, taking another step, glad that he didn't move away from me.

I gripped him biceps tightly, trying to soothe him but not knowing what to do.

I couldn't take back the awful things I'd said out of anger.

I just wanted to make everything better and be a family.

And that includes Brian.

"I'm so sorry." Brian whispered, his voice wobbly and full of emotion.

I put my hands under his chin and made him look at me.

His eyes were glistening with tears he wouldn't let fall.

Knowing that I made him that way, absolutely broke my heart.

"Brian. I told you once, nothing you can do will make ever me turn my back on you. I love you too goddamn much." I whispered.

He looked completely shocked.

"I love you too." He said softly.

He slowly moved closer to me and just having his arms wrapped around me, feeling his chest against mine, set a fire in my body that I did not want to fight.

It had been way too long.

****

Me and Brian laid in his bunk, totally spent and breathing hard.

"Wow." I breathed.

Brian kissed his way along my collar bone, coming to rest in the crook of my neck.

"Have I mentioned how much I love make-up sex?" He asked me.

"Once or twice." I said.

Brian chuckled and held me tighter.

"And just so we're clear. This better not ever happen again. Next time I won't hesitate in chopping off your balls." I said firmly.

"You have nothing to worry about babe. I know where I belong." Brian said.

I grinned and leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his lips.

"Can I ask you something?" Brian murmured softly.

I ran my fingers through his damp hair and nodded.

"Where you ignoring me and this whole situation because you didn't want us to fight?" He asked.

I stayed quiet for a minute.

"Babe?" He said, looking up at me.

"I wanted to teach you a lesson. I knew that if we talked it out, you'd say sorry, I'd forgive you and we'd just move on. But then I looked down at my stomach, and I felt our babies move, and it brought me back to when I caught you with Michelle. And I didn't want it to just be a quick fix like it was all the times before. I wanted you to know I was serious. I wanted you to understand that I wouldn't take you mistreating me or using me as a doormat. And I knew that if I ignored you, if I acted like everything was fine, that would be more punishment than I could ever dish out." I said to him.

Brian was just staring up at me, not saying anything, so I continued.

"I let you be. I let you think about what you did. I let you think everything was okay, even though I was slowly pushing you further and further away. And I pulled Zacky closer. And as bad as it sounds, I knew that would hurt you. And that's what I wanted. I wanted you to see that I didn't need you. That I have everyone here that loves and cares about me, that are willing to stand by me and support me through everything. I wanted you think I didn't want you. Because that's how I felt when I saw you with Michelle." I said softly, suddenly feeling so guilty for everything I'd put him through.

Brian's hand slowly came up and cradled my face, wiping across my cheek.

I didn't even realize I'd been crying.

"I'm not mad at you baby. I understand why you did it. And as much as it sucked, it did teach me a lesson. I don't want to live without you and our babies. Nothing is worth the pain I put you through. Nothing. You and our babies are my family, and I'll do anything to make you happy. Anything. And I promise for as long as I live, I will never ever hurt you again. But if I do, I give you permission to kick me in the balls as hard as you want." Brian said seriously.

I couldn't help but laugh.

Brian always knows how to make me laugh even when I don't want to.

As soon as he saw me smile a grin spread across his face too.

He just lit up.

"Now, I have to tell you something. You have to promise me you're not gonna freak out." I said.

His eyes narrowed and he looked at me.

"Okay." He said warily after a minute.

"I love you." I said with a smile.

A grin spread across Brian's face and he wrapped his arms around me even tighter.

"I love you too." He told me, his nose skimming across mine.

Just hearing those words again, made my heart flutter and children kick out.

This is bliss.